Monday, June 11, 2007

Keyword Chaos Reconstituted


My statistics tell me that 54% of the visitors to MBS arrive here by clicking a link on another blog or web site. Another seven percent are the very loyal readers who simply typed my URL into their browser or saved it as a bookmark. The remaining 39% find this blog through the use of a search engine like Google, Yahoo, or MSN. It is this final group to whom we pay tribute today.

I enjoy examining the offbeat and sometimes perplexing search phases people use to arrive at MBS. Here's a sample along with my observations.
  • huge bottoms - OK, I'll admit to having a little extra padding back there. But huge?

  • spanking between friends - What's a little swat or two between old chums?

  • my bottom smarts love that bonnie - Hee hee

  • sounds of an actual spanking - Whack! Ow! Whack! Oooh! Whack! Ouch! and so forth...

  • rubber band butt sting - Oh, please. Don't give Randy any more ideas. I can just picture him wanting to tie me up and shoot rubber bands at me!

  • everyone has a bottom - A pretty good arrangement as it turns out

  • panty draw - She had the fastest thong in the West

  • bottom smacking service - I picture two guys in uniforms coming out to your house in a truck

  • I want to spank my wife - Everyone's life will be easier if you discuss it with her first

  • I love my bottom - Good for you! Too many women are socialized to believe that a healthy adult figure is somehow ugly.

  • u tube spankings - OK, would that be a spanking on an inner tube being pulled by a German submarine?

  • spank my shorts - Yeah, and kiss my grits!

  • my bottom smarts anal - It's been known to happen

  • the princess of spanking - I heard she abdicated

  • noisiest plastic panties corner time story - All hail, it's the Wizard of Odd

  • girls being naughty in cheer shorts - Just wait until those shorts come off!

  • golf and bare bottom spanking - We love the skins game!

  • harem left breast nipples - Brenda found it difficult to buy a good bra because she had two left breasts

  • introducing kink to girlfriend - A simple curtsy is the normal protocol

  • my girl friend wet her panties on our first date - This could be a sign that she's too young for you

  • can spankings draw blood? - Yes, but the Red Cross isn't likely to be put out of business any time soon

  • emergency room in her anus foreign - My mother always told me to wear clean underwear for just such occasions

  • my paddling doesn't sting - Armor is not appropriate apparel for a spanking

  • photos of bear asses wearing butt plugs - This is an incredibly bad idea

  • frontier gal spank research - Riding home on a horse is the worst part

  • I got spanking - Who could ask for anything more?

  • bountiful butt - And a fine harvest it was!

  • husband spanking wife through the ages - I think I saw this show on the Discovery Channel

  • how to get my wife to spank me - Ask her

  • I want to be spanked by my boyfriend - Ask him

  • I have spots on my bottom - You know it was an effective spanking when...

  • a good honest to goodness spanking - How good can it get?

  • when I bend over, my head hurts - Stop! You're spanking the wrong end!

  • plastic apron spank - Here's another totally ineffective implement

  • mister spanking - He's sort of like a kinkier version of Doctor Love

  • zoo bare butt bonanza - Why do we always end up at the ape house?

  • spanking always - Aw, that's sweet

  • visible panty lines - OMG! She's actually wearing underwear!

  • spankasia - Coming soon to a theater near you

  • butt plug law - I think those legislators need something else to do

  • fifty year old women having sex - You bet! It keeps the fifty year old men off of the street

  • spanking gets your blood flowing - Let there be no doubt

  • boys punished in panty girdles by girls - Whatever, dude

  • spankings on independence day - It's like my very own fireworks show in my pants

  • words that rhyme with bonnie - They're all cousins - Donnie, Ronnie, Connie, Lonnie, Johnny...

  • fine pleated panties - I thought I'd seen it all

  • loincloth tawse - And so Jane learned to avoid joking about Tarzan's grammar

  • ghost spanking - Bringing afterburn to the afterlife

14 comments :

Anonymous said...

Surely you make these things up Bonnie?

"You're spanking the wrong end" great one,

I'm sure I've seen the one about "bear asses" before.

A good giggle, Thanks


Ollie

Paul said...

Bonnie, only 7% that is a surprise.
This has to be one of your funniest yet. Thanks, you are in great form.
Warm hugs,
Paul.

Paige Tyler said...

LOL! Love those, Bonnie!

*hugs*
Paige (Tigger)

SelfSpanker said...

LOL Great fun !!! :)

Thanks

Anonymous said...

Bonnie, you crack me up! (no pun intended) -- Erica

wind walker said...

not only are the "phrases" interesting, your narration is the best!!!

oh god, that's funny!!!

ian said...

I am laughing at the guy sneaking up on the bear with the butt plug in his hand - you are right Bonnie, incredibly bad idea! Some things are best left in the realm of fantasy!

Tim said...

"I heard she abdicated"

HAR.

Emmy_Doll said...

Bonnie,

Every time you do this it seriously makes me laugh out loud.

My niece's usually come to investigate what there Aunt Em is laughing at.

I'm just wondering how you figure out this keyword stuff.

I would lovvve to talk to you about getting more traffic to my blog. So yeah....

I'm serious. Laughter ensued.

Anonymous said...

Immense bottoms - no, but huge bottoms yes. No fun in spanking those rotten little buns, the modern model girl boasts about.A nice ample bottom like Bonnie's can take a good tanning without damage, and the bouncing jiggle of those cheeks is poetry in motion. D.

Bonnie said...

Ollie - As I've often joked, I can't make up material as bizarre and funny as this. In every case, someone sat in front of a keyboard and typed those words. For most of them, I haven't the foggiest idea what they expected to find.

I once featured a phrase that included spanking a "bear bottom," but the butt plus was a new high water mark for crazy schemes.

Paul - You're welcome. We always have a good time with the keywords.

Paige - Thanks.

Self - I'm glad you enjoyed this bit of frivolity.

Erica - Thank you. I loved your CHOS last week. It reminds me that I need to assemble another mailbag post. My correspondents aren't quite as rude, but every bit as weird.

Wind Walker - Thank you! It's so great to have you back.

Ian - Yes, don't try this at home!

Tim - There was a great deal of unrest in the kingdom.

Emmy - I'm pleased that you enjoyed keyword chaos. Some of these phrases simply beg for a snappy retort. We laugh over them too.

I'll help you in any way I can. Write me and we can talk.

D - OK, ample I can accept. Huge is still a bit tough though.

Reesa Roberts said...

I'm late but just wanted to say thanks for a great laugh! Your very witty comments are the best!

Huggs,
Reesa

Bonnie said...

Reesa - Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed Keyword Chaos. It's always a lot of fun at our house.

Emilie said...

You are hilarious! Those are some crazy ones :)

Emilie

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