Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The Return of Keyword Chaos

Our Keyword Chaos feature is back by popular demand. Many people arrive at MBS by following links generated by search engines. I enjoy examining the search words they use. Some are downright humorous and those queries lead us here, to Keyword Chaos.
  • costume butt plug tail - If I wear this to the office party, will people think I'm stuck up?

  • spanking my bottom smarts - Hey, leave my blog alone!

  • panties with no bottom - People without bottoms shouldn't need panties, right?

  • self-spanking hairbrush - I'll agree it's a remarkable feat of engineering, but why would anyone want to see a hairbrush spank itself?

  • pulling knickers out of bottoms - Does this involve flying monkeys?

  • panties anonymous - Hi, my name is Bonnie and my underwear won't fit in one drawer anymore

  • spanking red bottom - In my experience, once a bottom turns red, it's done

  • photos of human derriere - That sounds so clinical

  • vote on my bare ass apple bottom - Just mark an 'X' on the side you think looks best

  • sting my bottom - It wasn't much fun after Doris sat on the hornets nest

  • a mixed bag of spankings - Life is like a bag of spankings

  • hopping panties - I've seen bulging boxers, but never hopping panties

  • I love women's girdles - Good, then you wear them!

  • vanilla spanking techniques - Is this an oxymoron?

  • spank me with my butt plug - It's not a very effective implement

  • naked barnyard whippings - Hey, you two, get a stall!

  • how do we take a wedgie and spank at the same time - Huh?

  • very painful bottom whipping stories - "It was a dark and stormy night..."

  • caned bear bottoms - Don't do it, just don't!

  • why does my head sting - Perhaps it's related to spending 13 straight hours typing nonsense into search engines

  • waist my lie too long - OK, so I'm not really a size six

  • what is a bottom? - We need to send this person back to remedial spanko class

  • thong that says sunday brunch - There's a business opportunity I hadn't considered

  • halloween spanko - When the trick is the treat

  • daily wank - Day job of Spankoman's mild-mannered alter-ego, Quark Gent

  • self spanking marathon - Just 24 more miles and we can put down these paddles

  • super size bottom - Make mine a Big Whack

  • vagina spanked me - Mine never spanks anybody

  • how to make spankings more memorable - I'd start with a good caterer

  • spank temp - Wait a minute, the agency didn't tell me about this part!

  • advice on spanking during sex - When couples are enjoying sex, I suspect they don't want advice on anything

  • cosmopolitan spank - Life among the metrospankuals?

  • self spanking machine - Is it really self-spanking if a spankolator does all the work?

  • why is spanking arousing? - Does it matter?

  • skimpy raunchy ladies - In politically correct terms, that would be "sexually active female little people."

  • gently eased anal probe deeper - Roger, Houston, we have achieved entry

  • wheelbarrow over the knee and spanked - Talk about your unusual fetishes!

  • blazing paddles - 'Scuse me while I whip this out...

  • wet carpet beater spanking on pantyhose - Here's a suggestion for spankos who think they've tried everything

  • team that loses gets spanked - I don't think those Sacramento Submissives players are giving their best effort

  • pull down panties for sex - That certainly makes it easier


Katie_Spades said...


That was great and mae me laugh hysterically... nicely done.


Kayley said...

Oh my God!! I live for this Keyword Chaos! lol Thank you Bonnie!!


Debbie said...

That is great!!! It's funny what people look up. Thanks for the laugh this morning.

MaggieDear said...

"Roger, Houston, we have achieved entry" I know, without a doubt I will just burst into hysterics next time MrC achieves entry! That is priceless!

Anonymous said...

Those are LOL funny, Bonnie!!!

Love it!!!


Doc said...

caned bear bottoms - Don't do it, just don't!

I was down for the count. Not something I ever want to picture EVER again... he he.

Paul said...

Oh Bonnie, I'm breathless, this post needs a health warning. IF ASHMATIC, DO NOT READ!!!!
Priceless Bonnie.
Warm hugs,

miss kitty said...

Oh my goodness... Bonnie, thank you for my first real laugh of the day! "I don't think those Sacramento Submissives players are giving their best effort." LOL!!!

A.S.S. said...

Hey Bonnie... these were great, again. Some very funny, and interesting things there. We just yesterday figured out how to do a keyword search (thanks Tiggr!)... and already see some pretty strange paths to our door.

~Todd & Suzy

Cameo said...

Life's been interesting for me lately, which led to me deleting all the content of my blog (ugh - now I have to start OVER???? - at least now I CAN start over - tomorrow's been a long freaking week and I'm pooped)...but nothing is more interesting than Keyword Chaos Bonnie. Thanks for the laughs - I sure needed them after the way this week went!

Bonnie said...

Katie - Hi! Any time I need a good laugh (and Randy's not around), I need only call up my statistics and look at the search strings. I couldn't make up series of words as funny as some of these.

Kay - You're welcome. It's funny. When I first started this feature several months ago, several readers complained that it was detracting from the blog's spanking content. I had some positive comments as well and I thought the words were funny, so I persevered. Now Keyword Chaos entries always gather plenty of positive feedback.

Debbie - Thanks. I never fail to be surprised.

Maggie - As long as no one feels the need to speak the words, "Houston, we have a problem."

Tigger - Thanks!

Doc - Let's file that one under 'R' for really bad idea!

Paul - If I can leave you breathless, I feel as though I've accomplished something. So sorry for the discomfort.

Miss Kitty - You're most certainly welcome!

Todd and Suzy - Aren't they bizarre? Looking at search words is one of the little known pleasures of being a blogger.

Cameo - I did read your notice. That's too bad.

I'm glad you enjoyed Keyword Chaos. It's just a little bit of silliness to help us all get through the week.

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