In with the New: Midsummer Night's Edition

I believe we can safely conclude that there are a whole lot of people out there who share our interest in adult spanking. Here are seventeen spanking-oriented blogs recently added to our blogroll. I invite you to explore and enjoy. If you like what the blogger has to say, I encourage you to leave them a friendly comment. You can tell them that Bonnie sent you... :)

1001 Spanking Fantasies

David Spanks

Diary of a Disciplinarian

Dreams and Spankings

Fizzy's Flog

His Submissive Baby Girl

Improbable Fun

Little Miss Spankypants

Madame Spanks

Mr Tawse

Nathan and Carolyn

Neonspanx Photoblog

Olivia's Secrets

Storm's Spanking Story Archive

The Irish Monocle

To Arianna's Looking Glass

Trying To Do This Thing We Do

To these new members of our community, I wish you good fortune and good friendship. If you would like some blogging tips and suggestions, try these. In any case, we're glad you're here!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 9

We had a particularly interesting question this week. The group considered on which blog (other than their own) they would want to host a love story. Here are the responses.

Dr. Ken: I don't know that my romantic story will ever be written. I don't know that I'll ever have a romantic story, period. The lady I loved passed away a little over eight years ago. There's been no one since then, and possibly never will be.

If it were to be told somewhere, I suspect it would on Devlin O'Neill's Weblog. I regularly leave comments there, and certainly feel like one of the gang. It would probably be the most natural fit.

Terpsichore: Greenwoman, thanks for the question. To be honest, I don't have an answer to the question. I am still a little shy about sharing too much information. I don't know if I would ever share my love story for the whole world to see. But, at the same time, I so appreciate hearing others’ stories and there are certainly a lot of wonderful people in blogland with whom to share. :-)

I also wanted to comment to Paul that I just checked Zille's blog and truly enjoyed reading your beautiful love story. :-) Thanks for being so open to share.

Mina: Like Terpsichore, I just checked Zille's blog and was thrilled at what I found. Paul's story is one I have always wanted to know.

Thanks for a good question, Greenwoman. I'm not sure, and being a bit of control freak, I would likely stay with my own. Possibly, I might consider Strange Imagination because I know Janice so well and would feel comfortable.

D: I have to say I would prefer Spanked Italian Gal's blog.

She and I seem to be of like mind. Our experiences, likes and dislikes, seem to coincide. I have always enjoyed her comments on our blog and love reading hers. I hope someday to actually meet in person.

Todd and Suzy: Wow, that’s a tough question. There are lots of blogs that would be great spots to host our story. I would probably go with PK's blog though. She's already got Fantasy Friday, so she has the place for it.

I have to say that MBS would be a great option too!

Spanky: I agree completely with Todd and Suzy. PK would definitely be my choice! I think her blog would be the best fit. Now, if I just had a romantic story...

Hermione: Bonnie, your blog would be the best fit for me. You very kindly allowed me to share some very special moments with your readers before I had a blog of my own. Our approach to spanking is basically similar to yours, although not quite as adventurous.

Daisy: I might select your blog, Zelda’s Timeout, Brambleberry Blush, or Cassie’s Space if I were ready to share. LOL Obviously, they would have to allow me to. But I am not sure, even if I wanted to, that I would have the cheek to ask any of you!

Daisy, please consider your proposal advanced and accepted!

Paul: Bonnie, I think that I must have communicated quite badly with Greenwoman on this one. While Zille's Master/Husband and I have a fair deal in common, I feel very strongly that my wife Mel and Zille would have been close friends had they co-existed in the same space-time.

The second and lesser reason is that CeeCi's blog is now friends only.

I would like my stories, both fact and fiction, to be available to a wider audience of all my friends. I am fully aware that there are many of my friends’ blogs that would have been very suitable. But for the above reasons and the fact that Zille pleaded so prettily, I acceded to her request. I really hope that none of my friends are upset.

Paul, I can’t imagine anyone being upset. Your words are a gift wherever they appear.

Anon: Until today, I hadn't any knowledge of Zille's richly crafted blog and just spent a glorious hour becoming acquainted with it. It seems an ideal "add" for your master list, Bonnie. And while I'm at it, why has updating been discontinued?

Anon, my omission has been corrected. As for the update flag, it’s gone and it will probably not be back anytime soon. For the past couple of years, I used a service known as Blogrolling to manage my links. This service has basically collapsed and now barely works at all. I have been forced to switch to an old fashioned HTML blogroll. Until I find a better alternative, this will have to do.

morningstar: I never thought about someone else's blog hosting "our story." If I had to select a blog it would be The Heron Clan. I would pick swan to record our story for a number of reasons – she is about my age, we have similar thoughts and similar belief system (at least about the life style), and because I greatly admire her straight forward honesty.

Greenwoman: It’s really fun reading everyone's answers so far. I think that each blog has a very unique personality. I think that a story sometimes just fits with the personality of the blog.

When Paul pointed me to his stories, I wondered why he selected Zille's blog. He shared just a brief description with me. When I read some of Zille's blog and thought of some of the tidbits he's left all over so many good blogs, including my own, I realized that his stories fit the personality of Zille's blog beautifully.

Paul, it’s lovely to hear more of the reasons why you chose Zille's blog and I think they are terrific reasons all. I, for one, am not the least upset. Surely, you know that any blogger would be honored to host your love story. You are so well respected and liked. Anyone who knows and loves you would not be the least upset that you've chosen a blog that is a terrific match for your story. I'd love to have hosted your story But truly, my blog is not about discipline, which is an essential part of what you shared with your wife. There are lots of lovely spanking blogs among our community, but few of them focus so much on the specific spanking topic of discipline. I think that makes it a truly good match!

Besides, none of the rest of us had the courage to plead pretty enough I guess. *grins slyly*

Seriously, the reason I brought this up is that it got me thinking about a fun topic: Which blog would I want to host my romantic stories, if not my own? It was such a fun discussion with myself, it seemed a shame not to get others thinking of it and what a fun way to get people linking around to other blogs we all love?!

Ceeci isn't blogging publicly, but if she were, and I were to tell my story, I'd pick her blog too. It would likely be for all the same reasons that Paul would have picked it. I would pick Ceeci's blog because, like others who have mentioned friendship making it feel safe to tell such personal and precious moments of the heart, I think that my story would be handled sweetly and with honor by Ceeci and by her readers. This too is an important reason to share on a particular blog. Readers are a part of the story telling. Their interaction becomes a part of the experience with a story. I would want the readers to feel touched by what I so bravely shared. With this also, Paul made a good choice, because his story is being very well received by Zille's reader's. So this too would be a part of my decision process.

There's another blog where I find myself constantly thinking...'Yeah! Gee, she's saying exactly what I'd say. She sees things in relationship as I do.' Often Gray Lily even says it better and is more brave and specific about the details than I am when I write about loving my partner on my blog. I often hug such things to me like precious jewels. So her bravery in her own writing would likely draw me out to be more brave when I finally told my story. This is another factor in why I would choose a particular blog.

In any case, I really like Gray Lily's blog a great deal. It’s personality is a nice fit for any story I might ever share, if I didn't have my own blog.

Thanks for including my brunch question, Bonnie. I'm avid to see what others have to say.

Thank you, Greenwoman, for sharing this excellent question! The results are remarkable.

Janey: I don't yet have a romance to share, but if I did, and I could, I would choose to have it told over at Persephone's Obedience.

Meg's blog is one of my favorites, and I love reading her stories unfold.

(Another) Mary: Mine would definitely go here, on your blog, Bonnie. MBS is where I first thought, "I've found people like us." Like you, my husband and I have been married over 20 years, but we're new to this journey, just this year. But as you write about Randy, I sometimes smile and think I hear my own husband's voice. I relate best to what spanking means to you in your relationship. It’s similar for us. Thanks for the space.

Mary, you’re very welcome! Thank you for your contributions.

Maryann: That’s a fun question. I would choose Constance's blog, My Dabble in the Middle End, because I want my love story to turn out as hot and as loving as hers! Go, Constance and Mr. C!

And I'm thrilled to know Paul finally published, I'll check it out right away. Go, Paul! Go all you wonderful spankos!

Bonnie: Each blog is like a snowflake, unique and beautiful in its own way. Every blogger has a perspective that is worth sharing with the world. I am grateful for the amazing diversity within our community.

I could easily come up with twenty responses, but the broad spectrum approach doesn’t really answer the question. Our love story would have to include a good measure of humor. That would work well on Erica’s blog. At the same time, Bethie’s descriptions of Dan as a spanking connoisseur definitely reminds me of Randy. In terms of my own sensibilities, Hermione is a fine fit. Todd and Suzy’s blog has an overall feel that is similar to mine. I could easily go on, but I should let someone else have the floor.

C: I am enjoying reading Paul's story and wish to first thank him for sharing such a sweet and endearing tale. If I were to ever have the courage to share my love story, I would choose Grace's blog, A Day in the Life, if she would be so kind. I feel I have a lot in common with her with regard to lifestyle, children, and humor. My second choice would be PK who has been a wonderful inspiration. Regardless, I am thankful there are blogs out here to share our kink.

This was a wonderful question and I can't wait to read the next installment of Paul and Mel's story.

Thanks to everyone who joined our conversation!

In with the New: Back to School Edition

Randy and I are enjoying a long awaited mini-vacation this week. But I just couldn't bear to leave you without something to read. Therefore, I would like to introduce seven young blogs that I hope you will explore and enjoy.

When you visit, I encourage you to not only read, but also to offer some support in the form of comments. It's difficult to start a blog. In the beginning, it feels as though you're writing for no one. A few positive words at the right moment can make the difference between a successful blog and an abandoned effort.

Please check these out!

Elizabeth's Utopia

Finding Sara

Masochistic Coquette*

Ni Pute Ni Soumise

Renegade Goddess

Robin's Red Bottom

Sub Nouveau

      *Not new, but I just found it!

(If I've overlooked other great new spanking-oriented blogs, please tell me)

To these new bloggers, allow me to welcome you to our community. I look forward to watching your blogs grow and thrive.

Here are some suggestions I assembled as a guide to enhancing your blog. While it's certainly not the final word, you may find some useful tips.

My Blogging Smarts More Blogging Smarts My Blogging Smarts Again My Blogging Smarts: Balance

I hope you find the spanko blogging experience as rewarding as I have!

Keywords: spanking, spanking blog, spanking blogs, spanking blogger, spanko

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Feb 4

Our brunch question for this week examined lurkers aned what motivates them. Here are your thoughts.

Pherring: I lurk mainly due to time issues. I do also believe that I am younger than most people here, and I tend to learn quite a bit from reading. Keep up the good work everyone and I hope to not just lurk in the future.

Lee: I have to second Pherring. When I'm in school, I pull 15 hours. When I'm not, I work a full time job, so I don’t have much time. Also, I don't have much experience (read as: none). It is all fantasy to me, and so when brunch questions pertain to things I would only be able to comment on from experience, I have nothing to say. Sometimes, I can speculate about what I MIGHT like (or not), or how I'd hope a relationship would go, but I really have nothing of substance to contribute.

Elis: I lurked for a long time. Well, it felt like a long time. At first, I didn't comment because I had no idea how to. I hope most people are sharper than that. But then I hesitated because I did not have any experiences to share. I was finally drawn in by your openness to answer questions and help others feel more comfortable with thoughts and feelings they might have hidden for years.

The rest is history as they say. Once I started talking out here, I just could not shut up. I enjoy commenting and writing my own blog. Taking the plunge and commenting here the first time led me to many new and very dear friends, and it improved my marriage 1,000 percent!

Thanks for your blog, Bonnie.

Amber: Well, I didn't comment because I wanted to comment on Adele's and Abel and Haron's blogs, but I had to provide my email address. I didn't want to do that. Then I came up with a made up name and created the email address explicitly for illicit purposes. Then I just began to comment, but I too started on the spanko delurk day!

Fox: For me, sometimes it’s a lack of experience, sometimes it’s because I have nothing to add, and sometimes it’s time. I LOVE to read the spanking stories. I love to roam the net reading spanking stories. Many blogs I have found came straight from links here and at one other blog. I figure if you and/or she linked, it’s probably a blog worth taking a look at. In fact, the blogs that I link on my own blog are ones that I read regularly. I comment when I have something worth adding. Otherwise, I just read and usually go attack the Hubby.

Mal: I have to admit that I lurk, but this is because I have nothing to add and no real experience. I hope that one day I will have the experience to make it possible for me to comment properly, for topics other than delurking. Also, my spelling is atrocious and this tends to keep me from putting fingers to keyboard.

Teresa: My boyfriend and I are into DD. I need to be disciplined and he has no problem doing it. I used to go into chat rooms, but when I expressed myself openly, most of the men in the rooms told me that I was being abused. I do not understand why they said this. I am happy and I know my boyfriend loves me. The really weird part was that these men are Doms. It made an impact on my chat room attendance because most people do not understand that we enjoy our relationship and that it is consensual.

I am usually given a spanking once a day. The spanking can range from light to heavy depending on my attitude or if I have broken a rule. He uses his belt (Daddy's Belt), hairbrush, or a paddle. I cannot begin to tell you how happy and motivated I am in my life.

Once again, thank you Bonnie for writing this blog! I love it!

Cathy: I tried to comment to different blogs before, but I was only able to get a couple of comments to post. Perhaps it was for the best because I have a fear of being outed.

I have also noticed that many of the same people comment on the same sites. I sometimes feel that it would be butting in to your group if I were to add to the conversation. Everyone seems very nice and friendly, but you already seem to know one another. It’s the classic new kid mentality. Most of you also seem to be gifted with the ability to write well. I do not feel I can live up to this standard. Writing is not my thing, but I can do math.

I do love reading, so keep writing. :) I think your idea of the Sunday brunch is wonderful.

Bella: Time is the biggest issue for me. I try not to post "me too" comments and that alone keeps me from commenting at times.

Tigger: I think it's probably because they're shy. I completely understand because I'm a shy person, too. The main thing that prompted me to post my first time here was how welcoming a community your blog really is.

John A: I don't usually comment for most of the same reasons as above, time, lack of experience, and most importantly, by the time I get the blog read, there are already several comments that pretty much echo what I was going to say. Oops, same situation here again. Anyway, if I find myself with something original to contribute, I will try to next time.

Mary: Originally, it was the need to keep my identity private or often not really having anything to add. Finally, I started talking at Bonnie's brunch and a couple other sites. Now I think I say too much. I also recall feeling that I simply wanted to read and enjoy and didn't have the time/energy to say anything.

Danielle: Sometimes, I'm a lurker, although I comment from time to time. There's a whole range of reasons for not commenting.

1. I'm slow with formulating


2. Sometimes, someone already said what I intended to say


3. There are blogs where I feel outside their community, because I'm not on Blogger myself


4. If there are a lot of comments, I often think mine isn't needed after all


5. There are posts that don't attract my interest


6. I think it's important for a commenter to get some response. If I never get that, I stop commenting


7. I prefer to note on blogs from people who don't get comments or just a few

Anon #1: My issues include time, writing skills, other people in the home, and finally, privacy. In the past, I thought I was being anonymous and then my full name popped up after I posted.

I love reading about spanking. I feel good to know there are other spankos out there. These things do not usually come out in a normal daily conversation. I like reading other people’s stories. I am an active play spankee, yet I do not know how to pass on my stories.

Todd and Suzy: In the distant past, back when folks posted on message board forums... we lurked because we felt our knowledge was so ridiculously lacking that no one would care to hear us. People were talking about things so far beyond what we were doing, there just didn't seem to be a point to jump and look naive.

In time though, we did pop our heads out of our little ground-hog hole and found we fit in a lot better than we'd thought. Those with dungeons and whips were pretty friendly! That we played at a far tamer level wasn't a problem at all. Almost everyone could identify with where we were at, because they'd been there before. We really did find our time much more enjoyable when we started contributing occasionally.

Since then, only time constraints will keep us from participating.

The spanking community is generally very friendly, and accepting of all kinds of spanko interests. We very much encourage lurkers to step out and see their shadow!

Anon #2: Surely what most bloggers desire first and foremost is readers. Some readers may also be writers, but that is relatively rarely the case. In my own work, I write frequently in response to my reading, but I probably read more than a hundred texts before trying to compose one.

I have read your blog for some time, and always with pleasure. But this last post has made me feel that I am not welcome as a reader if I am not willing to delurk. Am I the only one who feels that the term "lurker" is more than a little pejorative?

Paul: Bonnie, I came out to CWS, found The Garden through her, and CeeCi recommended one of your posts. I've been a spanko all of my life. Imagine my heartfelt pleasure when I discovered a community living the lifestyle all in their own unique ways.

Since my partner died, I've been one lonely spanko. I'm not any more, Like PK, I have found many friends. Thanks Bonnie, for providing a place for us to meet, a friendly atmosphere and even refreshments. *G*

Kasey: Hi Bonnie! To avoid lurking today I decided to say hi, even though I have nothing to add. :)

Bob: I've been reading spanking related material since the early 80's (including CF Publications) and most of my early sexual thoughts revolved around spanking. I lurked all through the early "Assville" period in the 90's too (I loved Laura's Spanking Corner, and still visit).

But I never felt comfortable with this part of me, much less opening up to my wife about my thoughts and feelings. Fast forward and we've been married for 15 years. I found my soulmate, and quite frankly she'd do anything for me. We "play spank" occasionally, mostly during intercourse, but mostly that's it. She doesn't know most of my fantasies revolve around domination and spanking.
I've never quite been able to set this part of "me" at peace with the rest of me. Somehow it feels wrong to want to hurt the woman I love, (let's face it, a red butt hurts) and I don't want her to feel put down or somehow less as a person.

The other thing is I've never been able to place spanking into a context that I feel comfortable with either. I don't want to be a "daddy" or begin finding fault with my wife so I can give her a spanking.

So, that's why I lurk. It’s because I haven't been able to open myself up to my wife and share this part of me. So I can't share it with the rest of you either.

Bonnie: First, I want to welcome everyone who joined our brunch for the first time. I’m glad you’re here.

I've always said that I love my readers. I’m delighted that you’ve chosen to spend some time with us. My gratitude applies regardless of whether readers join the discussion. I would never want anyone to feel they are unwelcome.

I encourage delurking because I think most people have something valuable to say. I, for one, would love to hear it. Even in the absence of real world experience, we all have fantasies. It is from these vivid fantasies that the best adventures grow.

As for the term "lurker," I recognize that some folks find it objectionable. Unfortunately, it's the word most people know and use. If there's a more charitable synonym, I'll be happy to substitute.

I can see how an occasional reader might think that we spanko bloggers are a closed clique. Please let me assure you that this isn’t the case. While we certainly acquire friends through this process and develop great fondness for them, newcomers are always welcome here. I love to meet a new spanko and exchange ideas and insights. There cannot be too many enthusiastic spankos for our community.

In any case, thanks for joining us and adding your voice (or not!).

As I suspected, there are many reasons why readers don't comment. My intent in posting these questions was not to pressure anyone, but to explore the phenomenon of lurking. Thanks to your generousity, I now better understand.

I hope you'll join us next Sunday for another spanko brunch!

Keywords: spanking, spanko blog, lurking, My Bottom Smarts, spanko brunch