Thursday, April 26, 2007

More Paddle Slogans


Do you remember those novelty paddles they used to sell at tourist havens? Each paddle had a clever saying such as "Heat for the Seat" or "Frontier Tail Blazer." Even as I kid, I recall being fascinated by how these good folks had managed to make spankings fun.

About a year ago, I published a list of updated paddle slogans. Everyone had a good time selecting their favorites.

Recently, a friend wondered if perhaps there might be more of these paddlisms. As it turns out, there are indeed.

  1. Sanity Restoration Device

  2. Spruce for the Caboose

  3. Royal Rump Roaster

  4. Stress? What Stress?

  5. Abandon Sitting, All Ye Who Bend Here

  6. Firestarter

  7. My Memory Enhancer

  8. End of the Discussion

  9. Spanko Aphrodesiac

  10. Apply Reddening Agent as Necessary

  11. Just Be Glad It's Not the Cane

  12. What's a Few Swats Between Friends?

  13. Cheaper Than Therapy

  14. Love Hurts

  15. The Best Answer

  16. Why Not a Spanking?

  17. Open Your Mind, Lower Your Panties

  18. It's Supposed to Hurt!

  19. Spank Early and Often

  20. Old School Lessons Taught Here

As I said last year, I claim no royalties on any of these sayings. Should any implement entrepreneur desire to burn them into paddles, they may do so with my blessing.

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15 comments :

Raheretic said...

My favorite is, "I'll do the swinging. You do the stinging."

Tom

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.

Anonymous said...

Cute, Bonnie!!!

*hugs*
Tigger

Anonymous said...

When I was in grade school, many years ago, one of the teachers had a paddle which had written on it:
"The Board of Education"

Paul said...

Bonnie, my favourite has to be "stress, what stress," which is what Mel would say when she needed a stress buster.
Warm hugs,
Paul.

Mitch said...

I've always liked "more smack for the whack"

AnonVII said...

Then there's that ultra-pithy "Tickler." That was blazoned onto a monster paddle that, in my young years long ago, I took from this ruffian who made the mistake of swinging it at my face edge-on (!) in a melee after a sports match that our team had won and his had lost. And yes, I still have dear, old Tickler, but he makes Meg giggle only when I pat her with him playfully.

AnonVII

Southern Angel said...

Hi Bonnie,

JD and I picked up a couple of tourist-type paddles on a trip to Atlantic City. I had never seen them before and was shocked to see them sold like that, out in the open. I was also shocked how a little, cheap piece of wood could actually hurt!

Pixiepie said...

my favorite....just be glad it's not the cane.....
cute post!

sugartush said...

I'm new to the spanking thing but my husband has embraced it whole heartedly.He came home form the do it yourself store the other night with a huge grin on his face, when i asked what was up he layed a flat thick piece of oak trim on the bed....then said he had some woodworking to do in the garage, then on my behind. He's making me a custom made paddle. (he really does love the freaky side of me);-)

Greenwoman said...

8,13, and 17 are my favorites. Great post!

A.S.S. said...

Oh... love the "Memory Enhancer" one! That sums a certain type of spanking PERFECTLY.

:)
~Todd & Suzy

sugarpie said...

Bonnie, You are too funny; great post! I love "Royal Rump Roaster"...I think we'll use that for our naughty princess roleplays and the "Royal" paddle has to be fetched. Lol!

Reesa Roberts said...

We have one we bought in TN about 20 years ago. It has a picture of a deer and a bear cub on it. It says "For the cute little "dear" with the "bare" behind." LOL

Reesa

Anonymous said...

The one my dad used on me said "The Board of Education To Be Applied to the Seat of Learning"-- geez no wonder me and my 2 brothers are all in therapy...

Celine said...

You are so creative!!!! I'm in awe of you, I could never come up with these! :D What a clever idea for a post theme! Celine

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