Friday, October 06, 2006

Top Ten: Ways to Avoid Outing Yourself

It's one thing to take a spanking and quite another to let the whole world know about it. The latter experience is typically a lot more painful. To avoid the embarrassment of outing oneself, MBS offers these ten simple suggestions as a public service.
  1. If you must examine your marks in a public restroom, make sure there is no one in the stalls

  2. When visiting a kitchen store, resist the temptation to test wooden implements by striking them against your bottom

  3. It's best not to bring in a cushion from home and place it on your chair at work

  4. Try not to blush when a coworker tells a story about riding in a paddleboat

  5. There's no need to quickly hide your hairbrush whenever someone walks into the room

  6. Don't linger too long at the leather belt display in the men's department

  7. Should you find it necessary to knead a recently tenderized bottom, turn your back to a wall to maximize discretion

  8. When staying at a hotel, run water in the shower and turn up the television to mask spanking sounds

  9. If you operate a spanko blog, don't publish your full name, location, or employer

  10. Ask your lover very sweetly to please stop swatting you in front of all these people
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Anonymous said...

That was so funny, Bonnie. I just adore your sense of humor.

New Beginnings said...

How funny Bonnie,
I have thought about doing at least 6 of these thing!! I remember feeling panic when a friend stopped by and the hair brush had been left on the couch. I looked calm but I felt as if we had left the flogger out!!


FelineFrisky said...

So funny! Thanks for the tips! D :}

Anonymous said...

Too funny, Bonnie!!!


Kayley said...

Vey funny Bonnie! Number 10 was the 'last drop'.

Yeah, we do have atendency to hide hairbrushes and normal stuff just because we think it's kinky...

Add also: Do not melt and go silent all of a sudden in front of your friends the moment they mention the word 'spank'.


Paul said...

Dear Bonnie, after some sixty years as a spanko and proud of it, I don't fear outing myself, if I do, I hope that it gives everybody a good belly laugh.
Thanks for an amusing post Bonnie.

Anne Elizabeth said...

Hee-Hee, Bonnie that was a great list !

Anne Elizabeth

Tiggr said...

I liked the couch pillow at work... I could actually see me doing that... guess it's good that I'm a homeschool teacher now, huh?

Great list, Bonnie, and great for a big old chuckle at the end of my day!


cuddlybum said...

Can I add one?

remember when the beloved is talking to you on teh phone threatening your bum and your boss is nearby - TURN THE VOLUME OF THE PHONE DOWN!!!!!

Not sure if he heard, but, Lord, was I red!!!


Bonnie said...

Anon - Thank you! I appreciate your comment.

Elis - That one cracks me up too. Why on Earth do I rush to ditch a simple, innocent hairbrush?

D - You're welcome.

Tigger Too - Thank you.

Kay - I do that sometimes! You'd think after all these years of accepting spankings and writing about the subject almost every day that I would gain a certain immunity from blushing. Not so. As soon as there is a reference to somebody "getting their butt whipped," no matter how metaphorical or vanilla the context, I tend to turn red at the front end. It's absolutely involuntary. That's where the weinermobile comes in...

Paul - I hope I reach that stage someday too.

Anne Elizabeth - Thanks!

Tiggr - Yes, that is probably a good thing! I have avoid being conspicuous in terms of squirming in my seat. More than once a concerned co-worker has asked me, "You OK?" That's where the alibis come in...

Cuddly - Yep, that's a good point too. Thanks.

Katie_Spades said...

Bonnie, that was absolutely hilarious! Well done!

Thanks for the laughs!


Thomas said...

Funny and informative. Another great post

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