Spanking Theme Restaurant Coming to Windy City

Press Release FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE For more information, contact: Rosie B. Hinde Public Relations Director OTK Cafe Partners (312) 555-9000 Spanking Theme Restaurant Coming to Windy City CHICAGO, IL -- The Windy City will soon host the first location for what is expected to become an international chain of spanking-oriented theme restaurants. The OTK Cafe will offer moderately priced lunch and dinner menus, but the real attraction will be the decor. "For the past few years, we've been collecting all sorts of spanking memorabilia," said Tina Hamilton, executive vice president of the firm. "For example, we believe we own the world's largest collection of fraternity and sorority paddles. I think patrons will be surprised and delighted by these unique items." The Chicago restaurant will be divided into four major rooms. Each will have a unique thematic decor - classroom, woodshed, boudoir, and dungeon. There will also be several smaller party rooms and alcoves that explore other aspects of spanking. The Chicago location, located on Wacker Drive, is expected to open its doors around June 15th. "The construction is already underway, and the excitement is beginning to build," said Hamilton. "We've spent a lot of time refining the concept. Our hope is that its appeal will extend beyond the established spanko community. I think there are many people who have an interest in adult spanking, but they've never really explored this area. We hope the OTK Cafe can show them that not only is this activity solidly in the mainstream, it can be safe and a whole lot of fun as well." The name OTK Cafe was a compromise after corporate legal staff nixed alternatives such as Hard Swat Cafe, House of Bruise, Pain Sorest Cafe, and Planet Paddlewood. "OTK stands for 'over the knee,' which is a popular position for administering spankings," explains Hamilton. "It's kind of an inside joke, yet not so obscure that it cannot become a household word." The privately held partnership is currently in negotiation for properties in several other popular US locations including Times Square in New York, the Inner Harbor in Baltimore, and Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco. "We really wanted to open first in Chicago because spanking themes run especially deep in Midwestern culture and tradition," Hamilton said. "We expect that success at this location will provide a springboard for future growth." There will be a number of events associated with the grand opening. These are expected to include public appearances by luminaries from the spanko community and promotional give-aways. There will also be a press night. Details will follow as the opening approaches.

Keywords: spanking, OTK Cafe, parody, spanko restaurant

What is Your Spanker's Type?

Spankers come in many different shapes, sizes, and personalities. As a reference, we here at MBS would like to offer this simple guide to spanker types.

Spanker Type	Preferred Implement	Description
Bear	Hand	Although generally even-tempered, the bear can attack suddenly and with amazing force. Don’t count on any warm-up or sympathy. Spankings are administered because they are needed. As soon as the spanking is complete, the bear typically returns to his jovial, good natured self.
Beaver	Leather paddle	The beaver is into the sensation of the experience. All five senses are hard at work when he delivers a spanking. The beaver enjoys the sound and feel of a solid whack. So much, in fact, that he is likely to repeat the action relentlessly until completely satisfied with the results.
Buzzard	Crop	The buzzard is nature's opportunist. Any exposed bottom is likely to be subjected to a fly-by swatting. Merely bending over can be interpreted as an irresistible invitation. If you don't enjoy frequent surprises, by all means avoid the buzzard.
Chimp	Banana dildo	Ever the jokester, the chimp spanks primarily for fun. The more outlandish the scene, the better he likes it. His partner is far more likely to hurt from laughing than from any silly chimp swats.
Cobra	Whip	The cobra is to be feared. Spanking is a last resort, and that's a good thing, because his spankings are too intense to be endured regularly. His goal is to inflict pain and deter future transgressions.
Elephant	Cane	Wise and thoughtful, the elephant understands the deep relationship between spankings and his lover's passion. His every move is calculated to yield maximum benefit. Despite his plodding pace, the elephant can deliver a very effective bottom warming.
Goat	Hairbrush	No animal is more stubborn than the goat. Often ill-tempered and impulsive, the goat will never settle for less than a thorough rump roasting. Forget your excuses, alibis, and diversions. They won't work here.
Hound	Leather strap	The hound is interested in one thing and one thing only. For him, spanking is quite literally a means to an end. Sex is at the very top of the hound's shopping list and if spanking will get him there, then spanking it shall be.
Lion	Wooden paddle	Proud and dignified, the lion represents chivalry and respect. Spanking, for him, is not a duty to be taken lightly. He feels a solemn responsibility to paddle hard and then graciously forgive the recipient. Fairness is paramount.
Rabbit	Fur-covered paddle	Unlike the hound, the sex sought by the rabbit is for mutual satisfaction, not unilateral conquest. In tune with his partner's needs, the rabbit spanks purely as foreplay. Unless, of course, she really likes it...
Rooster	Executive dungeon (seldom used)	Fond of preening and strutting, the rooster is the barnyard show-off. He seeks a partner about whom he can crow. He is more likely to be talking about spanking than actually participating. Nevertheless, a rooster will spank occasionally, especially if he thinks he might have an audience.
Sloth	Anything handy	The sloth is a lazy spanker. Even when presented with a paddle and a woman across his lap, he still needs a reason to spank. He's not opposed to the idea, but merely slow to act. For the sake of his partner, let's hope his engraved invitation arrives soon.

I hope this brief summary of spanker types has helped you to better understand the complex variety of spankers you might meet.

Keywords: spanking, spanking humor, parody, My Bottom Smarts