Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 21

Our topic this week was reactions to marks. Here's what you think...

Anon #1: I love the afterglow, but also the marks. They are like a badge of merit, I suppose

Michael: I'm glad you thought the question was worthy. I prefer to just redden Season's bottom, though I must confess that I try for fire engine red, or maybe candy apple red would be a more fitting description. I don't mind leaving a few marks when I use just my hand, which in our case are usually deep red spots just on the verge of bruising. But I don't like leaving black and blue or purple bruises, and especially, NEVER to break the skin like you see in many canings. I know many people enjoy this and take pride in leaving and receiving marks, and for them, this is what drives TTWD. However, given our unique individual preferences and willingness to accept all viewpoints in our community, I prefer not to leave bruises. Season is of the same mind, so we match up perfectly on this matter.

Kaki: I don't like seeing bruises or purple marks. It has happened in the past, but we worked on avoiding them. I know my husband doesn't like them either. He has apologized a few times when it happened in the beginning. Sometimes there is a bit of pink or a little marking the next day or so, which is OK. I don't like seeing pictures or videos or reading anything that shows a lot of bruising or welts. That is not what we do.

Barely Pink: Although it is certainly a matter of preference, D and I aren't overly fond of excessive marking. I'm not sure how he does it -- he has quite the technique -- but he manages to usually avoid any bruising at all, despite my fair skin and tendency to mark (Not for lack of spanking hard, mind you).

He has intentionally left marks twice in our relationship to leave an impression that I would not soon forget. He was obviously successful as I clearly recall both the reasons and the ramifications of those occasions and am certain to avoid a repeat. But he would never break skin, which would signify an immediate stop to any play. That's just not our personal style.

Most often, I am a deep shade of pink. This color can last well into the next day with absolutely no bruising. I like it that way!

Season: I don't pay much attention to the visual results of spanking. I suspect that may be much more interesting to the spanker. For me, it is all about how it feels - physically and emotionally. As Michael said, we prefer a nice even red color without bruises or welts. However, there is a hand-shaped crop he favors that I suspect leaves little red hand marks. :-)

On Her Knee: As a spanker, I'm not fond of seeing bruises and marks. But I know that My Fine Lady loves the sensation that can still be felt later. So, it's not my goal to make marks and bruises, but more being able to make the sensation last.

As a spankee, I enjoy being bruised and marked, especially when I can still feel the reminders of the spanking days later. It reminds me of the love My Fine Lady has for me.

It's not her thing. She would much rather just receive spankings, but she spanks me because she knows it's what I want and need. For someone who says she doesn't like giving spankings, she certainly has become VERY good at it.

Kimmie: As a spankee, I absolutely have to have a bruised bottom to have fully enjoyed the spanking. I just love to see the marks. It actually makes me feel better about myself to have taken such a hard spanking and to be able to see the results! It's also nice having trouble sitting down as it brings back fond memories that make me smile like almost nothing else. :)

Anon #2: We don't like marking or bruising. A nice red bottom is very good, though!

Daisy: After I feel I have taken a really, really hard spanking, which leaves me still sore hours later, I am actually quite disappointed if the marks have disappeared! It makes me seem like a wuss for 'complaining' ;) that I am still sore when my bottom doesn't even stay pink.

I am fair skinned, but do not mark easily. A fiery red ass looks white as snow again an hour or two later. That is O frustrating, because it is still tender!

So, yes, light bruising is sometimes good, but like many readers, I am not into broken skin and really bad bruising.

Gracie Malling: In my early days, I used to get some spectacular marks including purple edges of strap marks, dirty yellowish bruising, ridged red cane stripes, and I adored them. I loved having this enduring (for a little while at least) reminder of all the fun I was having. I especially liked to look in the mirror and catch sight of myself unawares. It gave me a gorgeous lurching, shivery feeling in my belly.

These days, however, my bottom has got so used to being spanked that it seems to have developed amazing powers of regeneration. I might initially have some redness and maybe a few bruises - especially if I've been spanked with something made of wood - but all this fades within minutes, at most within hours. In the past, it was common for me to have marks that were still visible after nearly two weeks.

I agree with Daisy that sometimes you feel like you're making a fuss out of nothing if you get up and see that your bottom is just a bit red, especially if you've just spent the past half an hour shrieking and wriggling and begging for it to stop. It doesn't help when Mr M says 'Look, there's not a mark on you! Now what was all that fuss about?'

Oh well, marks or no marks, it's still loads of fun :-).

Hermione: I am quite happy to have bruises that persist for a few days after a spanking, but that doesn't happen often. My bottom has become quite resilient over time, and marks are rare. Redness usually fades within an hour.

Ron always watches carefully for any excessive damage. A blister or break in the skin means playtime is over.

Our Bottoms Burn: Some people mark easily, while others resist the most extreme efforts. It has little to do with the spanker. Most bottoms relish marks. I don't like to give marks, but they happen and for those who want them, I make the effort.

I don't mark myself.

Scunge: I LOVE the marks, but Sir does not. So I rarely get marked now. As soon as I start to show a hint of bruising, he stops. Here is something that I find just a tad weird. He says he doesn't like to see me in pain because he loves me. Apparently, before he loved me, it was different. I'm still wrapping my head around THAT!

Ronnie: I don't mind if I have a few light marks or bruises afterward. I quite like to see them. We're not into broken skin or very bad bruising. P's very careful about that.

Jean Marie: This question reminded me how much I like marks on my bottom, and how long it'd been since my last hard thrashing.

"Keiter, come here, please," I called.

"Hrmph!

"It's important," I persisted. When he joined me, I pointed out our weekly query and then bent over and let my jammie bottoms fall. "Cane me so that we have the stripes to savor all day, please...?" I implored.

I now have ten very vivid welts burning back there, and, of course, that lit a fire that only sex could extinguish. Do other couples find that these weekly questions change the course of your weekend?

Spanked by Wife: I think of marks as a badge of honor. Sometimes, it seems she marks me more easily than others. But unless there is evidence the next day, she probably didn't spank hard enough.

R Humphries: As a good deal of our play involves the cane, I am always keen to view the results. I make sure that all the stripes have landed in the ‘sweet spot’ and there have been no wraparounds, or high or low riders that can cause unnecessary discomfort. Of course the cane leaves marks, but in all the years I have indulged my caning passion, I have never ‘cut’ anybody with a cane and would think that I had failed in making the proper application if I did.

Interestingly, MBJ is extremely proud of her pain threshold and her stoicism under fire. When we are playing with other toys such as straps, slippers, hairbrushes and kitchen utensils that allow for more extended sessions, MBJ always seems particularly enamored of her very red bum. I never intentionally cause bruising, although some darker discoloration can be a natural bi-product of an extended spanking with a wood-backed hairbrush or other toys of the more unyielding variety.

Katia: I don't mind a bruised backside. The bruises are a good reminder. However, my backside has become quite accustomed to some hard spankings, and I tend to heal very quickly or barely bruise at all.

Prefectdt: I love having a marked and bruised backside. It is just a pity that the marks fade so fast nowadays. The one exception is good strong cane marks. They can last for ten days. :)

Kady: JJ says: I do NOT like to see bruises from spanking Kady.

Kady says: Hey, what's a good spanking without battle scars?

If I am going out of town, I especially like to have bruises to keep me connected, so to speak. It's like I still feel his presence when I see the bruises. They keep me feeling his love.

Make Mine Red: We both prefer just a nice rosy red. I like to feel heat and I enjoy raised welts. At first, I bruised easily and it upset hubby. He wanted to back off of spanking for a while. I convinced him otherwise. I think my behind has toughened up because he spanks me a lot harder now, but there are never any lasting marks!

Anon #3: I love examining my behind in the mirror shortly after a spanking and seeing the welts and marks. We usually use a belt and just looking at the welts makes me want to bend over again. : )

Char: I like a nice red bottom. And I like feeling it the next day. It reminds me how much I am loved. And that makes it all worthwhile.

Diesel Diva: I mark easily and LOVE to see the results. My hubby hates to see marks, but he enjoys the benefits that those marks provide. LOL

Loki: Both my wife and I are dark skinned, so seeing marks on us is sometimes difficult. But, yes, I do love seeing her bottom turn a dark shade of red during a real intense play session from me.

When I bottom, I love that sore feeling that lasts for a few days, as well as the stripes from a good caning. My philosophy is that if you are getting spanked, you should at least know it afterward. That only happened once to me. I spent my 21st birthday at Paddles. Now that is a fond memory!

Bonnie: I like getting mild to moderate marks. I don't want any deep bruises or skin breaks, but short of that, it's all good. With that said, I rarely mark. Even the redness fades rapidly, sometimes within minutes.

Randy likes seeing and feeling those marks as well. He sometimes chooses an implement with this in mind. For us, the visual evidence is just another pleasing aspect of our spanking experiences.

Thanks to everyone who joined in our community brunch!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Feb 3

I suppose it’s oddly appropriate that we are talking about bruises on Super Bowl Sunday. Here are your thoughts on the subject.

JMRPT:We try to avoid marks and bruises most of the time. If the marks last more than 24 hours, then we think we got it a bit wrong.

Sometimes we do play really hard, but we always discuss the consequences of this before we start.

We did postpone a trip to the nude spa recently because my bottom was still marked.

Arnica cream does seem to help, but recently I found an article that says it makes no difference. But I still think it works, perhaps on a psychological level, which also helps the physical level. And I like MP rubbing on my sore bottom!

Todd and Suzy: Suzy rarely ever bruises. Her bottom gets really red, really fast. But then almost as fast, it fades. So marking isn't much of a concern. When a bruise does happen, we don't have any problem with it. If you're going to whack bare skin with a wooden paddle (for example), the possibility of bruising comes with the territory.

We don't try to treat a bruise. Suzy usually gets ice on her bottom after a really hard spanking, and then some lotion. That probably helps with bruising, but that's not why we do it.

The only time we change plans is when there is a doctor’s appointment coming up. That said, Suzy had a freshly spanked bottom with a small bruise when she had to go to the hospital with a kidney stone. The nurse didn't say a word.

Whenever we play with someone else, we do always ask how they feel about bruising. It's never been a problem. If it were, that would mean only light to moderate hand spanking.

Skellos: I try to avoid bruising when I play. With me, it's a bit of a style point. I've been into spanking long enough to know, for the most part, how to minimize bruising. I think a good warm up, along with the aforementioned arnica cream are both good tools to help people avoid a lot of bruising. Like many spanking enthusiasts, I love seeing a round red/pink bottom. That being said, I try to produce that without a lot of bruises!

Dave: I don't feel that I have been punished properly unless I have bruises. I like to look at them after the spanking to remind myself of how much punishment I was able to take. They remind me of my mistress's affection and the fact that she took the time to make those marks and to exert the energy required. I prefer bruising in that way to cutting type marks.

The best implement we have found so far is a length of automotive hose. The end curls a bit, so if she holds it with the curve so that the end hits my ass, it makes quite nice circular marks that last a few days and aren't too debilitating (although I usually have some muscle stiffness from other implements anyway).

Ofia: Yes, I've had bruising after a spanking. I don't mind the bruises. Sometimes I like them. Marks or muscle stiffness/soreness is a reminder of what happened. My bruises don't specifically get treated, but bruises usually happen with the harder spankings where I ask to have aloe applied.

He has changed an implement or not used an implement because of a bruise that occurred during a spanking and I think a spanking has been delayed because of lasting bruises.

I don't remember any plans being changed because of bruises/or marks, but that's probably more of a not yet. (Going to the pool, that kind of thing hasn't come up recently.)

Sabrina: I don't really mind for the most part, even more so in the winter. I also find that I bruise so much less now that I am getting spanked on a regular basis.

I can clearly remember a long while back, when I first met Dallas and we were in Hawaii. A few days in to the trip and I was most assuredly a mass of marks and bruises. We had just spent a morning ziplining over Kauai and came home to a massage couple who showed up to give us an open air massage. I'm sorry, but I just can't resist a massage. I tried to put it out of my mind and just know that the absolute wonderfulness of what was happening outweighed the marks/etc that my therapist must have seen.

He was cool and never said a word. I think if you are, other people will be as well. We are sometimes harder on ourselves than others are (sometimes).

And on regular days, it's still interesting to look back some mornings and say think, "Wow! I was really spanked last night."

Jessica: I had quite a bit of bruising when we first started. Now I don't bruise much (and it has only been a couple of weeks). Dan usually leaves any bruising on the sit spot where it can't really be seen. I don't mind some bruising. In fact, it seems weird to have a sore bottom and a just slightly pink hue or no marks at all the next day. When he uses the rod, there is often a little bit of bruising.

Lori: I don't think I could bruise now if I tried. That wasn't always the case though. I used to bruise a lot at first and that would really freak Joe out. He hated the bruises. We always used ice, but still I bruised. I don't avoid any implements now. Nor do I change plans because of marks. I just don't mark anymore and unfortunately, I don't have that wonderful day after feeling either. :(

Anon: I don't mind some marks on my arse, it's a nice reminder for later ;)

If you think you've gone overboard and are anxious to avoid bruising, you might try some arnica lotion from the health food store. I used it heavily when I broke my nose years ago. Immediately, I could see the bruising coming in and slathered it on. I imagine it would work well on the other end as well.

Mary: I do not bruise easily. Well, at least I thought so until we got a wooden paddle from Hanson’s Paddle Works. It is solid and it bruises every time. That was why I didn't want to use it on our recent trip. There was a public jacuzzi and sauna and I didn't want any bruises to show while in my swim suit. We did experiment and I still got the paddle, but it was over my skirt and only a couple of swats. This didn't bruise (of course, that was the trip where I was branded a wimp!). So maybe I wasn't spanked too hard.

When I am bruised, I don't do anything to treat them. I just enjoy the ouchie reminder for a couple of days and in about a week to two they fade completely.

Prefectdt: I do not get to play as often as I would like. The upside of that is that I have no recovery time issues.

I have always marked badly, so much so that the first time I play with a new top, they usually show concern over what’s happening at my tail end. In fact, they very often need reassurance that it looks far worse than it feels to get them to continue.

But I recover very quickly. If I play in the afternoon I am usually black and blue after the action, bright red by the evening, and totally unmarked by the following morning.

I wish the marking would last longer. After a good play, I can usually still feel the effects, when I sit down, up to five days afterwards even though the visual evidence is gone. It would be nice to have something to show for the fun that was had.

The exception to this is a well applied cane, but it does have to be used hard enough to cause one or two small bleeds to achieve what I desire, a few nice stripes that last three or four days.

DavidK: Mthc will get up after spanking play and head straight for the mirror to check for bruises. I think sometimes she is upset if there are none there.

S & D: Scarlet bottom, yes. Bruising, hopefully not. It is usually caused by using the wrong weapons or bad spanking technique. Canes, heavy straps, thick paddles are nearly certain to cause bruising, and allowing the spanking to stray off the meaty part of the bottom will do so also. If we use a cane, it is always across tight jeans or skirt. This stings like the devil, and leaves red stripes that should not develop into long lasting bruises. We do not think a bruised bottom is attractive, unlike one glowing like a scarlet tomato, which gives that wonderful hot burning smart beneath my skirt and a feeling that my bottom is balloon-like. This reminds me of my spanking, without making sitting a major problem. There should be no trace of the spanking after 48 hours. In fact, we know of one spankee who exacts revenge from her top if she is till marked two days later.

Paul: Mel bruised very easily at the beginning. During some early punishments, when she bruised, we used ice and Arnica. Mel didn't like me using palliative treatments, because like many spankees, she liked to feel her spankings. She loved going to sleep with a really hot butt.

Terpsichore: I am not really there yet in our journey to respond to the question. But I do admit I am a little afraid of bruising. Realistically, I also know I have pale skin and tend to bruise easily. Therefore, it is likely I will, at least in the beginning, if we start to use implements. I don't want my husband to be worried about my bruising as he already is concerned about hurting me. I want us to playfully explore and continue on this journey.

Tina: Hard spankings make me bruise. We stopped using some implements, like the belt, because they caused just too much bruising. We now use thin canes and whips. When applied hard and repeatedly, they still cause me to bruise heavily.

I wouldn’t mind. I like the reminder. But I have children, I like the sauna, and I sometimes need to see the doctor. Also, I am worried about long term damage.

Is it true, that bruising is mainly a "beginner´s problem"? I am wondering: Which implements cause the most pain and the least bruising?

Tina – It’s not exclusively a beginner’s problem, but many spankees find that their bottoms become more resilient with regular spankings. As for the ideal implement, I have no doubt we would get a wide variety of opinions were we to poll the readers. I suggest a light, flexible leather paddle.

Hermione: Like many others, I don't mind marks. In fact, I enjoy seeing the blue badges of courage. My husband doesn't feel the same way, but he generally avoids doing serious damage to my posterior. And while I bruise easily on other parts of my body, I rarely have more than a reddened bottom after play.

The last marks I received were from a belt that is seldom used. I was also in a slightly different position, so Ron'a aim was probably somewhat off. I ended up with a large vertical welt which I was quite proud of. By the next day, I had three triangular marks where the folded edge of the belt had bitten me. A day later, they had morphed into a huge purple bruise.

Aware of Ron's dislike of marks, I uncharacteristically hoped I wouldn't be the recipient of another spanking for a while, until the bruise faded. But the next time he bared my bottom the mark was still very obvious. To my relief, he gently placed his hand over the discoloured area, and then got on with the job at hand in a very satisfactory manner. It took three weeks for the area to return to normal, and no other implements have since caused any similar marks.

I do love the belt, and would hate to have to give it up, so I hope the marking was just an isolated incident. I'll have to drop a hint that it's time to give it another try.

Anon VII: I take considerable pride in NOT leaving marks except for red patches immediately after the event. After a stress-relief session with the paddle, there often are white spots in the middle of the red patches until the blood works its way back into the tissue. I fashioned my broadsword to make plenty of noise and leave a blistering sting, but not any lasting marks if I'm careful to apply it flat-on and avoid the edges. In addition, I take her over my lap after a hard paddling (the "grab-your-ankles" kind) and apply topical pain-killer and ice. As a result, marks that last more than 24 hours are very rare, and often there are none at all by the next morning. I dislike marks even more than she does.

PK: I rarely bruise, probably because Nick doesn't always spank as hard as I would like. While I am not going for bruises, I do not mind them at all. It is almost like a badge of honor. The first time I bruised was one of my most fondly remembered spankings. I guess it is really not the bruising I want as much as I want to be able to feel it the next day.

Snookie: I enjoy seeing the marks the next day. Unfortunately, I tend not to bruise visibly even though I sometimes experience tenderness the next day, which I like as it is a happy reminder.

Robin: Depending upon which implement and how much force, yes, I do sometimes bruise, particularly in the sit spot area.

I kind of like to see and feel the bruising. It's a tangible reminder the next day or so of what fun DH and I have had. However, DH can get a little freaked out when he sees marks starting to develop during the spanking (I’m not sure which implement it is, but it leaves almost welt like marks during use). Sometimes, he's bothered enough by it to stop the spanking, and that’s not necessarily what I want.

We don't deliberately use or not use an implement based on marking (or at least I am not aware of any such decision DH may be making).

So far haven't felt a need to change any plans. My first bruising was during our vacation last year and the possibility that someone else might notice while I was in my swimsuit truthfully never crossed my mind -- and DH didn't say anything either. I know that it's always possible that I may need to see the doctor, or have a massage appointment shortly after a spanking that has marked me. If so, I'll just have to deal with any questions that may arise.

I ultimately don't mind the bruises and often like to see them. As others have said, they're like a badge of courage or honor.

Bonnie: I am fortunate (or perhaps unfortunate in some sense) in that I seldom bruise. It’s not that Randy doesn’t know how to make it happen (hard strokes with a heavy wooden brush or paddle without a proper warm-up). However, marks for their own sake are not usually his goal.

I’ve certainly had bruises, but most fade within a couple of days. We don’t typically treat them in any special way, although I will admit a fondness for having cream rubbed on that portion of my anatomy.

I remember one trip to Florida where I spent a lot of time trying to stretch the seat of my bathing suit. The locker room at the gym is another potential trouble spot. I have altered my schedule and/or changing strategy based on the condition of my bottom.

As others have commented, it’s nice sometimes to be able to enjoy the aftereffects the following day.

Thanks to everyone who joined in our discussion. I hope to see you again next week!