Thursday, March 19, 2009

Spanking 101: A Basic Spanko Glossary

I think it’s time for a tutorial, but I want to try something a little different. Here is a very basic spanking glossary.

Aftercare - As the name suggests, aftercare is a process where a spanker and spankee re-establish positive physical contact immediately following a spanking. Aftercare can be as simple as a hug, but it can also be considerably more involved. The purpose is to smooth the spankee’s transition from harsh pain to loving support.

Bottom - One of many words used to describe the part of the anatomy upon which the blows of a spanking are generally inflicted. This term is also sometimes used to refer to a person who accepts a spanking.

Consent - Consent is the essential prerequisite to any spanking. It may be explicit (“Yes, you may spank me”) or implicit (such as a pre-arranged understanding). But without consent, spanking becomes an unwanted and illegal physical attack.

Corner Time - A popular ritual, commonly associated with punishment, where the spankee is required to stand facing a corner before, during a break from, or after a spanking session. The purpose is generally to encourage reflection about misdeeds. It may also trigger feelings of remorse or embarrassment. During corner time, the spankee’s bottom is typically bare and on full display.

Crying - Many spankees respond to the pain and/or the physical release of a spanking through tears. Crying is often cathartic and can help to break down emotional barriers. As with many aspects of spanking, the crying response varies greatly by individual. Some spankees seldom, if ever, cry during a spanking. Others cry only afterward. Some almost always cry when they are spanked. All of these are normal reactions.

Discipline Spanking - This term refers to a spanking given for the purpose of correction and/or re-establishing dominance. Discipline spankings generally occur within relationships where one partner has been designated as being dominant (or in the case of domestic discipline, head of household). The other, submissive, partner may receive a discipline spanking when they fail to behave in the manner prescribed by the dominant. Discipline spankings are often relatively severe, short in duration, and may be accompanied by other corrective measures.

Domestic Discipline - Domestic discipline is an arrangement where one partner assumes a leadership role known as head of household. The other partner is expected to respect the HOH and accept their direction. Failure to follow the instructions of the HOH may be dealt with in a punitive fashion, often involving spanking.

Dominant - A person who assumes a superior role within a relationship.

Erotic Spanking - A spanking whose purpose is foreplay or augmentation of sexual relations. Many couples enjoy spankings as a prelude to sex.

Head of Household - The leader in a domestic discipline relationship.

Implement - An object used for spanking. There are many types including paddles, crops, canes, brushes, straps, and floggers. Each class of implement has unique characteristics which make them appropriate for different situations and purposes. One common scale for assessing implements is “stingy” (generates sharp pain at the skin level) versus thuddy (yields a deep, penetrating ache).

Kink - A generic term that refers to many types of unconventional sexual activities or lifestyles, but especially BDSM. Spanking is one very popular kink.

Maintenance Spanking - The purpose of a maintenance spanking (sometimes referred to as a "regular") is to maintain order and tranquility. It is often scheduled in advance and is not associated with any specific offense.

OTK - Over The Knee. Despite its apparent anatomical specificity, this acronym is actually used to describe any position where the spankee is draped across the lap of the spanker. The spanker may be seated in a chair or at the edge of a bed, bench, or sofa.

Pain - Pain is a part of every spanking and each spankee approaches it in their own way. Some embrace the pain. Some try to deny or minimize it. Still others hold on until their natural endorphins arrive. For most couples, pain is not the objective, but rather a means to an end.

Pervertible - A spanking implement adapted from some other, presumably vanilla, purpose.

Position - In this context, the term refers to the physical orientation of the spankee during a spanking. There are many alternatives available. Couples often enjoy experimenting with various positions.

Punishment Spanking - A spanking delivered for the purpose of correcting a misdeed. In some cases, the warm-up beforehand and sex afterward may be omitted in order to re-establish order or make a point.

Restraint - This term refers to any method used to limit the movement of the spankee. It may consist of classic bondage, such as rope restraints or furniture, but restraint can also be as simple as a handkerchief tied around the wrists. Whatever the form, extra care is needed to ensure the well-being of the spankee throughout the session.

Ritual - A ceremonialized series of activities that amplify the significance of the spanking. Participants often find that introducing the elements of ritual into their spankings cause them to become more meaningful. Examples of rituals include fetching the implement, counting, and corner time.

Role Play - Role play provides a structure for couples to explore their fantasies. By pretending to be other characters, such as a cheerleader, pirate, schoolmaster, or maid, couples can step away from their own familiar roles and try something new.

Safeword - A safeword is a word or phrase which, when spoken by either participant, will cause a session to halt or end. Safewords are essential for ensuring the well-being of the spankee. They can also serve the spanker by preventing him or her from going too far.

Severity - The severity of a spanking is often linked to the intensity and duration of the session. However, a better measure is the physical and emotional impact it has upon the recipient. From this perspective, relatively mild spankings can, in some circumstances, be devastating while even brutal spankings can other times seem quite tolerable. A expert spanker perceives his or her spankee’s reactions and adapts appropriately.

Sit Spots - As the name implies, this is the portion of the bottom that comes in contact with a chair while seated. Spankers often direct special attention to these two areas.

Spanking - A series of sharp blows to the bottom given for the purposes of punishment, discipline, correction, stress reduction, sexual foreplay, or play.

Spanking Blog - A web log that contains content concerning spanking enthusiasts, techniques, situations, and other topics of interest.

Spanking Model - A spanking model is a person who is filmed and/or photographed while depicting or participating in spankings and related activities.

Spankee - The recipient of a spanking.

Spanker - One who spanks.

Spanko - Slang term for a spanking enthusiast. This is probably a shortened version of the word spankophile.

Stress Relief Spanking - A spanking that is administered for the purpose of reducing tension. Such spankings are sometime relatively severe and delivered quickly without much ritual or warm-up. For other spankees, stress relief spankings work best when they build more gradually. With either approach, the objective is the same.

Submissive - A person who assumes a dependent or follower role within a relationship.

Switch - Someone who has an interest in both spanking others and being spanked. The term also refers to a small, freshly cut, flexible tree branch that is used as a spanking implement.

Vanilla - A vanilla is a slang term for a person who lacks interest in spanking or other kinks. It is not a derogatory word, just a statement of fact.

Warm-up - A comparatively light spanking that precedes the main portion of a session. Many spankees find that they can tolerate far more spanking activity if they are properly warmed up first. This is the reason why many spankers begin with their hand before introducing implements.

I considered about twenty more words, but I eventually decided that this project needed to be a blog post rather than a book. So here you are…


Hermione said...


What a wonderful idea! Everything you need to know about spanking in one post, with links to the details.

That's the Coles Notes version. I'm eagerly awaiting your book on the subject.


Miss Leya said...

This is cool. Well done.

HMG aka helpmegrow said...

Dear Bonnie,

Very enjoyable and informative as always. Perhaps a part 2 or at least a listing of the other words you were thinking about would be fun, I've learned a lot from you and have read the whole site and am keeping up as new posts are added. I have a friend who is also a disciplinarian to help with what my very vanilla hubby can't or won't do for me

Miss Jules said...

A great way to introduce spanking to someone. I am sure it will be beneficial for many secretly kink people wanting to come out to their partners. :-)

dixiedarling said...

Very nice compilation of some basic and very readily used terms within the spanking lifestyle.

Thanks for posting Bonnie!

Anonymous said...

Boonie don't forget to make sure they are also in the wiki 8)

Mija said...

Very well done Bonnie! You might add an "also called 'regulars' " to your maintenance spanking description. That's what I remember them being called on-line in the mid-1990s (lo so many moons ago).

Finally, though it's spoken about less often, especially in the context of roleplay or psychodrama (or just plain bratting), it's important to remember safewords should go both ways and allow for a way for the top / dominant to stop or end a scene.

Anyway, well done for this! :)

Impish1 said...

Great post, Bonnie! The style of the various spankings do vary enormously from person to person, I think... I recognize your stress relief spankings there, but those would add to my stress. LOL. Mine start out with a very nice warm-up before they progress...

Anonymous said...

Is March 19th "Spanking tutorial day"? You posted tutorials on the 19th in 2008 and in 2009. Is there anything "behind" that?

ronnie said...

Loved the post Bonnie, very good, thanks.

Terpsichore said...

thanks for the tutorial! :-) Nice to be reading a little again :-) Hugs terpsichore

Bonnie said...

Hermione - As long as it took me to get the abridged version published, the book may be a long way off!

Miss Leya - Thank you.

HMG - Hi! It's always great to hear from you. It's good to hear that things are going reasonably well.

Yes, I agree there should be a part two (or better still a merged version of both parts). It could happen...

Miss Jules - Thanks. I hope so.

Dixie - Thanks. I hope you and all your friends have a great time in Texas this weekend!

Rogue - That's a good thought, but I'm already *way* behind on updating the one Wiki page where I contribute. Alas, too little time...

Mija - I've updated the glossary to reflect your helpful suggestions. Thank you!

Imp - That's a good point. I have incorporated it.

Anon - You know this blog a lot better than I do. I'd love to tell you that it's all a part of my devious master plan, but nothing could be further from the truth. I had no idea! :D

Ronnie - Thanks!

Terpsichore - It's always great to know you're here. Do take care!

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