Sunday, October 05, 2008

MBS Spanko Brunch #142

Welcome back to our regular weekly gathering. The Sunday Spanko Brunch provides an opportunity for members of our community to sound off and share their experiences on a question of the day. This week's topic was suggested by an MBS reader.

Do you or your partner have any techniques for bringing a spanking session to a close? Are there any signals or phrases that indicate that completion is near? Are there any changes in the spanking itself that accompany the final strokes? Can you describe what generally happens immediately following the spanking?

I hope you will add your thoughts by leaving a comment below. Once everyone has had an opportunity to speak, I will post an edited summary of our disucssion.


Thomas_III said...

Unfortunately, my only comment can be that there is no single way that one of my spankings ends. It depends entirely on the circumstances, and the reasons for the spankings. It can even change from spankee to spankee. In most cases, the spanking ends with more intense swats than it started with, but even this isn't set in stone. It may end in aftercare, snuggling, scolding or cornertime, lovemaking, or even just a brief pause before more spanking.

OliviaManners said...

I think there was a period of time when I used to feel that it was up to my Disciplinarian to just * know * when I'd had enough, when I had been fully punished or when I had reached a certain place emotionally that was where I needed to be. There are times still when that is the case, but we have also reached a point where feedback from me is helpful to us both, and this may be done through him gently asking " do you feel properly punished? "....and me being really honest about that...knowing that even though my bottom may be very sore , that mentally I still have some way to go, and knowing that as intuitive as he is , he can't always read my mind and shouldn't expect him to.

" wrapping" a spanking up depends on the context in which it has been given. For punishment this is often likely to be through my tears, the release that I feel in being properly dealt with, and the sense of forgiveness and a clean slate to step forward with, and his kind words acknowledging that is what has happened. If the spanking has been given in another kind of context then what follows on from that feels very personal and private to share, as I believe that it is those moments right after a spanking that are the most intimate and special of all, and encapsulate what is most unique between just the two of you.
Whatever kind of spanking it is as it comes to an end there is always bottom rubbing, and cuddling, and connection and closeness....this sometimes has a beautiful stillness to it, and at other times there is an electricity that needs to be acted upon.



Ending a spanking - If it is a paid for spanking, times up when times up. For a spanking with a fellow amateur enthusiast, once my mind is in the right place I would be happy for it to go on forever and ever so I leave it up to the lady topping. Usually it ends for one of four reasons, she has worked out her frustrations, she reached the point where she has had her fun, I'm showing too much damage and so it is time to stop for safety reasons or finally she is worn out (I like it when the last one is the case).

The final strokes - I prefer it when they are announced and they are something special, 12 extra hard strokes with the biggest cane, for example.

Afterwards - I'm pretty much a non sex player so usually coffee, a smoke (where allowed) and a coming back to real (vanilla) life chat seems to be beneficial for both parties.


Dr. Ken said...

I don't know that I would call it a "technique", but in wrapping up a spanking, the last dozen or so swats are usually the hardest to either drive the lesson home (if it's "that kind" of a spanking) or to make sure she remembers it.
I use a simple verbal check to make sure we're both on the same page in regard to the state of the spanking. Something as simple as, "Do you think you've learned your lesson, young lady?" does the trick. If she's not ready for the session to be over, she can say, "No!", or "Well....maybe" which is my cue to keep on spanking. If she says, "Yes", then it's time to finish. (If she says, "Yes, sir" I KNOW it's time to wrap it up.) :-)
When it's over, I usually will spend some time rubbing her sore bottom until she feels she wants to get off my lap, then some hugs and some aftercare like cuddling or snuggling and some light conversation about what just happened...

Dr. Ken

Daisy said...

Hi! I think this is more a question for the spankers...and will be very interesting!
But, some parts I can answer; he tends to slow down near the end, but the spanks get harder, sort of building up to a grand finale! Its kinda common also, especially if its a discipline/attitude adjuster, for him to then ask if I think I can be good now... (these are never rhetorical questions, he expects an answer, because he can tell from the tone of my voice whether he has gotten through to me) and he warns that if not, this will have been just a taster!
Immediately after the spanking, he will usually fondle and rub and squeeze my ass, maybe tenderly apply an icepack ("first aid" - he is sooo sweet like that) hold me real close and whisper lovingly into my ear....tell me how much he loves me....or, if i have been very bad, lecture me and warn me....which is sooo sexy... mostly afterwards it will lead to (you tender, passionate, animalistic...whatever feels right... xxx

Girl said...

My spankings generally end with more sever swats at a count of five. This may result in comfort afterwards. Even after the comfort I may be subjected to further spanks, simply because he's inspired himself...

It is also expected that I'll inspect the damage afterwards. Sometimes I'm just sent to bed.

Spanky said...

We don't have any particular techniques or signals to indicate the spanking is almost done. I do like girl's idea of counting down at the end with some more severe swats, and will have to give that a try. What generally happens immediately after spanking is fellatio for me, followed by sex. The sequence of spanking, bj, and sex is now ingrained into our daily ritual.

Thanks again for your inspiration!

Hermione said...

Hi Bonnie,

I usually know a spanking is nearing its conclusion when the pace quickens and the spanks come much faster. They may also be somewhat harder than earlier ones. For Ron, my state of sexual arousal determines when he will bring the spanking to an end. He'll also stop if he sees any real damage to my bottom, but that's very rare. When he puts the implement down, we always make love.


Paul said...

Bonnie, the previous commenter's have covered most of the points.
I am strongly of the opinion that the Top/Dom should know his bottom/sub so well that he can read her body language and should know when a spanking should end.
Spanking punishments are a set number of strokes or time and always end with the last strokes being the hardest.
Whatever sort of spanking, after care is mandatory.
Whether it's a case of a tight hug and affirmation that you still love her and all is clear between you, and any first aid that may be necessary. With us any other sort ended with hot loving sex.
Warm hugs,

Spanky said...

Bonnie, thanks so much for linking to my new blog, I really appreciate it. Again, I can't begin to adequately express how grateful I am to you for your site and how it has helped us reach where we are today.

pmduo said...

Generally I let him make the decision about when to end. I always know he's almost finished because he'll slow down and the swats are softer and more caressing because his interest is going in other directions. Spanking is a precursor to lovemaking for us so that's always the next step!

Raheretic said...

Often at the end of a spanking I will have swan kiss the last implement I've used on her and say, "Thank you for my spanking , Sir."

That signals to her it's time to sigh with releif and know her spanking is finally at an end, and not just paused for some stroking or selection of another implement.

Ocasionally I will respond to her thank with, "You....are....very...wel...come." each of which is punctuated with a swat providing her four final whacks, to end the proceedings memorably for her.

All the best,


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.

A.S.S. said...

That's a really good question, Bonnie. Honestly never really thought about it before, but there indeed is a ritual to the ending of most spankings. If it's an erotic spanking, the actual spanking slowly morphs from spanking-spanking to spanking-erotic to erotic-spanking to erotic-erotic. That rhythm and pace is dictated by how turned on we are... a lot like how foreplay to sex works.

Otherwise though, the other types of spankings pretty much always feature a final hard spank. In fact, the last spank of a spanking is always the hardest single spank of the entire session. Doesn't matter if it's role play, fun or a real discipline spanking, there is a build-up to the last spank. During discipline... there is usually a very brief scolding before the last one. Kind of a ... 'You better not find yourself in this position again, or the next spanking is going to be even worse... understand'... WHACK!

The build-up during other kinds of spankings is obviously more playful, but there is indeed a build-up to a final *hard* spank. Can come with a question... "Now this is the last one, do you know what that means." Then there are several 'fake' swats. Hand/Paddle on bottom, lifted and on the way back down... fast and hard... only to stop at the last moment. The bottom tenses, breath is held, tension built... but no spank. Not that time at least. It will come though!

Pretty much works that way at spanking parties too, though do notice that many spankers have no way of ending a session other than basically saying... 'okay, we're done.' Very much a little ritual to close a spanking though.

Again, very neat question!
Todd and Suzy

Greenwoman said...

Wow Tom's way of ending a spanking is quite sexy. *grins*

M's way of ending a spanking was to use a specific rhythm. I hadn't ever thought of it before now. I like this question, because you've reminded me of something that I used to really like about his spankings. He would always end with the three hardest swats of all in a waltzing sort of rhythm, the fourth in the cycle, bring to bring his hand down gently to rub my bottom and then curve his hand around my hip to draw me into a new position. Sometimes for other sorts of play, sometimes to curl into a spoon with my hot bottom against his groin and his arms around me.

Good memories....*smiles*

dg_uk said...

Gosh, what a question.. It has taken me somewhere very lovely, still and quiet. I rather think that every ending is different, as others have said, and yet I know there are elements of ritual that we observe. At times I am asked if I have been punished enough (I am sure he knows how I will answer) and only once have I nodded in answer to that question. There are always physical and emotional signals that it is coming to an end, either pace, strength of the strokes, or the way our eyes meet, or the way he holds me, or I touch him. But I actually think that the proper end only comes some time after, after the cuddling, after the quiet conversation, when I am dressed and have returned to work cooking, walking, whatever everyday activity I need to attend to, and I am undertaking it with a very sore, red and burning bottom and a lightness of spirit. And it is this that is the same at the end of every spanking, and it is this that is the real close.


Anon VII said...

When we do over-the-lap, I let my rather long middle finger brush against her most private area as I lift my hand following each of the last several spanks before the grand finale, which is three hard ones on the lower-center area followed by gentle stroking of her bottom with my fingertips.

When we use the paddle for stress-relief, usually after an over-the-lap warmup, I tell her how many she's going to get (typically five on tight pants or three on panties or the bare, laid on hard), and she understands that breaking position (usually the ankle-grab) will result in one or more extra swats tacked on at the end. Even though she knows when the end is coming, I usually say something like "Last one, love," make her wait a little extra time, pat her bottom two or three times with the board, then deliver the swat full-force.

For us, the after-care is an important part of the ritual, especially after a paddling. I take her over my lap again and spray on Medi-Quick or Solarcaine, followed by applications of aloe and ice. The process is deliberately protracted to allow the pain to subside, libido to heighten, and affectionate feelings to build.

Finally, I pick her up in my arms and carry her to bed, where intense lovemaking invariably follows.

Anon VII

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