Sunday, April 08, 2007

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Apr 8

I'd like to offer a special thanks to those participants who interrupted their holiday celebration to help out with brunch. Our topic today was corner time and here are your learned insights:

Carye: We don't do corner time. I wouldn't mind trying it, but right now it just isn't a part of what we're doing. We're just exploring again the DD-type interests, but this is kind of out of our realm.

Cassie: I would like to tell you there’s no way I would ever put up with having to stand in the corner. But I suppose if Tom had told me I had to, I would have. We have never used corner time, but he has often sent me to the bedroom to wait for him on the bed. It is pretty well understood I need to stay on the bed until he comes in. I guess this is as close as we come.

Pher: I have used corner time with Dom on a number of occasions when I needed to take a break and get set up for the next phase of whatever it was that we were doing. It provides a break in the scene without breaking concentration, and a pleasing visual. I also used it with a previous partner as a means of enforcing a point.

Vivian: I'm continually mystified at why someone would find spanking acceptable for a grown woman, but yet believe that corner time is too childish or humiliating. Hopefully, someday someone will explain this to me (hint, hint).

For us, corner time is a mandatory part of every session, following and sometimes preceding a spanking.

It's my favorite part, actually, as I find that it not only deepens my post-spanking connection with my partner, but also gives me a much-valued opportunity to settle my emotions, and for meditation, personal reflection and growth. Corner time is where the real transformative work of DD is done in our relationship.

I could write a whole article on how much corner time has helped our relationship and my self-image, but that'd take up too much space here, so I hope you'll check out "The Spirituality of Corner Time" on my blog.

Paul: Except for school girl scenes, we used corner-time only as part of a punishment.

We found it useful to help Mel find her place during a punishment, but it didn't happen often. When Mel was due for a punishment, maybe hand, tawse, and cane, I'd say, “Mel, wait in the office, in the corner, and think why you need this!” Fifteen minutes later, I'd call Mel over, and inquire, “So why do you need this punishment.” Depending upon what had occurred, I might ask, “Do you agree that you need this?” She would respond, “Yes, Paul.”

Having completed that part, I sent Mel back to the corner, never more than three times. Mel knew why she was being punished, knew she was forgiven, and knew she was well and truly loved. Corner time helped Mel understand and accept that she could never lose my love or her place in my heart.

Anon: We are quite new to the scene but having a very good time! We have not used corner time, nor have we talked about it. Your question today may stimulate the discussion!

As Cassie said, I am sent to the bedroom to wait face down in my underwear on the bed for the inevitable spanking. Sometimes the torturous wait can last a long time! Sometimes, it’s so long that I have fallen asleep, only to be awakened by the crack of the strap on my poor unsuspecting derriere!

Tigger: While we don't practice DD, we do incorporate corner time into our spanking play, but just for fun! And it IS fun! It’s especially so when my hubby joins me there and rubs my freshly-spanked bottom! This, of course, leads to other yummy things!

Todd and Suzy: We do enjoy corner time in a playful setting. Suzy's not much on waiting for things, so a few minutes in the corner, complete with some verbal and physical teasing, can create a nice build up to some erotic spanking play.

Corner time for DD type spankings doesn't really work for us though. She gets way too emotional, most especially if she's left alone there. For some spankees, corner time can focus their mind on what is to come and the reasons it's coming. Suzy isn't wired that way though.

Corner time is an interesting element when playing with others too. I like having two young ladies waiting in the corner for their spanking and either listening (not seeing) as their partner in crime gets hers or knowing they're being heard as they get spanked. That’s a fun little extra kink.

Mary: I love/hate the corner. We use it definitely in punishment and role play spankings. It really gets me into the right head space. I hate having to stand there, bottom on display, being scolded to stand straight, hands at my sides. Oooh! How I want to stomp and pout at being told not only to stand in the corner, but how to stand.

Yet, being there also calms me and centers me. I can get myself all wound up at times and as much as I want, crave, need, desire, deserve the spanking that is coming, I fight it. The corner helps to dissipate the interfering tension. What I hate is when I am ordered off of his lap to go stand in the corner. Even with a blistering spanking happening, his lap is comforting and safe and I like it there. To be ordered to go stand in the corner, to have to get up from that comforting, connected spot is hard and I will fight it, often to the point of getting more blistering swats until I see the error of my ways. When I get sent to the corner after or in the midst of a caning, it is a different story. I want to go then, to get away, grateful for the time out.

The "naughty" feeling that ensues while standing with a red bottom on display always does something to me and makes me tingle. If we are playing, then his comments will include touching and noticing that I am wet and aroused. This comes from not only his spanking, but from my being compelled to obey will get me turned on.

Susan: This is something that I would enjoy partaking in. I think it serves to strip away dignity and some of the power that I enjoy maintaining in real life, but love having stripped away in erotic life.

It's always interesting to see how people respond to certain treatments within a kink.

Jigsaw Analogy: We have used corner time in both a kink and disciplinary context.

Within kink, it's very arousing. I am waiting for something, I know not what. I can't see what she is doing behind me. I am focused on what is to come. We don't do it often in this sense, but it can be quite fun.

Within discipline, it's not always even followed by a spanking (and, thus far, never preceded by one). It gives me (or my younger parts) a way to calm down, focus, and think about my (their) behavior. Even when I (they) don't think it's working, W. can see a difference, as can they when it's over.

Corner time, I think, is difficult for W. She is not patient, and she has a hard time not talking (in a disciplinary situation). However, it can help us to shift from wrangling and arguing with each other to me (or my younger parts) being able to calm down and accept what she says.

W. enjoys corner time more in a kink situation, because it gives her a chance to enjoy looking at me, and it gives her the ability to meet my needs for domination without necessarily trying to verbally be a top.

Allie: Alex and I do use corner time occasionally. I really do hate corner time, but I know, and so does Alex, that I need it too. Actually, I spent a few minutes there this morning! He has only sent me to the corner a few times after a spanking and never that I can remember before. Great topic to discuss, I love reading what others think.

Grizzly Bear: While we have never tried "corner time" per se, we did try something similar. During the time when I was training good girl, there were times when she had to stand in the middle of the room and face forward. It was always fun to spank her like this.

Bonnie: As with Tigger and her husband, Randy and I don’t do discipline in any conventional sense. But I am submissive and he enjoys testing me. Our corner time, when it happens, is often meant to intensify and draw out my submissiveness. Other times, it’s pure role playing fun. In either case, it’s a turn-on for me.

I hope you enjoyed our brunch. Of course, you're invited to join us again next week at the same time and channel. Until then, may you find all the love you desire and all the spankings you deserve!

For those readers hoping to learn of the fate of June Cleaver, I promise that report is coming soon. Unfortunately, Randy was afflicted with a bad cold this weekend. The event has been postponed for a week.

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Anonymous said...

Great reading, Bonnie!!!


Anonymous said...

Don't do corner time never would and my husband would never ask it turns us both off. To those who find it a turn on great for you! If you're just using it as a break why not use that time for kisses, caresses, oral or what ever turns you on? You'll still get a break with a bonus. :) The point is erotic spanking right? It is for us. I believe that all spanking is erotic, ergo not for children, unless it goes on against the receivers will. For those of you who use it to humiliate your partner before you administer more severe punishment you might want to consider therapy. That isn't healthy love.
You have one of the most informative spanking sites. We just don't always agree. :)

Bonnie said...

Tigger - Thanks.

Xandra - Hi! Welcome to MBS! I'm glad you stopped to add your voice.

I believe we are each different in our preferences. So long as everything is consensual and no one is harmed, there is no single correct approach, except in the context of one couple's relationship.

For Randy and me, corner time (which we practice only occasionally) is not at all about humiliation or severe punishment. For us, it serves to heighten the longing. The lovemaking, when it happens, is often even more intense. I can assure you that we don't shortchange the other activities you describe.

Corner time is clearly not for everyone, but for some couples, it offers some variety within their larger repertoire.

Anonymous said...

I didn't mean to include you and Randy or others who enjoy it. It's harmless so great for you if it adds spice. : )


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