Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Top Ten: Cringing Alibis

Have you ever found yourself in a thoroughly vanilla situation while in possession of a wild cherry derriere? Attempts to sit may be accompanied by an involuntary cringe. Vanilla friends, having witnessed your expression of discomfort, may inquire about your welfare.

At a time like this, the honest and easy answer simply won't suffice. People wouldn't understand. In order to provide a more appropriate alternative, we here at MBS have formulated the following alibis and diversions for use in these situations:
  1. Too many reps at step aerobics class

  2. Look! It's the Weinermobile!

  3. I think my cell phone is buzzing

  4. It's my old war wound

  5. This seat is lower than it looks

  6. My foot's asleep

  7. I slipped on the ice

  8. &*$# pantyhose!

  9. Didn't I tell you about my trick appendix?

  10. OK, who wants to do the Hokey-Pokey?
Keywords: , ,


bella said...

Look! It's the Weinermobile!

This, by far, is my favorite. I use it for a variety of situations.



Anonymous said...

Too funny!!! Love it, Bonnie!!!


A.S.S. said...

I slipped on the ice... here in Phoenix... lol... that would get stranger looks than, "Oh, yea, I got my ass paddled but good last night."

How about... a little spin on a childhood excuse of sorts... *The dog* bit me in the ass yesterday!

~Todd & Suzy

Tiggr said...

Yes, the Weinermobile ranks right up there... but usually I just politely say that standing is fine, thank you very much... I've been sitting far too much anyway, ya know? Long car ride and all...


FelineFrisky said...

Fun answers Bonnie, lol. D :}

Paul said...

We used to ride, horses, that is, made the perfect excuse for the wince.
That was funny Bonnie thanks.

Anonymous said...

Oh Bonnie~
This made me smile! Thanks so much for sharing. This site has done so much for me. I'll be needing this excuse tomorrow. Hubby told me we have a "date" tonight with Diablo. Yikes!!

Grace said...

I live in CA. So I like to use the ole' I was out in the sun to long.



Lily said...

I haven't come across this problem yet but I will cetainly keep these alibi's in mind for when I do.

Take care,



Anonymous said...

Okay Bonnie~ Now you did it. Should I ever need a rapid fire excuse or diversion you have well equipped us all. Now how about a post telling me how to convey these to the listener without busting up laughing?

Weinermobile. Sheesh. Even the most pathetic sounding of all comments will STILL remind me of the weinermobile. I'm screwed now thanks to you!

Awesome post!!



Bonnie said...

Bella - The weinermobile is truly a multi-purpose diversion.

Tigger Too - Thanks!

Todd and Suzy - Now there's a classic!

Tiggr - That works too in many situations.

D - Thanks!

Paul - That's a good one. I have a story somewhere about riding a horse AFTER a spanking. Now that's an experience.

Shy - You're most welcome. I hope tonight goes well, and tomorrow too!

Grace - Sunburn? Hmmmm... Now, that has possibilities.

Lily - Please use them with my best wishes.

Eva - In your case, standing might be a better alternative. Otherwise, you will need an alibi for laughing about your alibi. LOL.

Master D said...

Hi Bonnie:

I love your site, it never fails to put a smile on my face. Thanks for the link to my blog

Bonnie said...

Master D - It's my pleasure.

Sparkles said...

HAHA what a great collection :)


Kayley said...

*panicking* If I was never in this situation does it mean I don't get spanked often enough? Eeeek!!! I'm in trouble!

If it comes to this though - oh, God, let it come, 'cuz it's a good turn on lol - I'll stick to either the reps or "I fell on my butt while coming here. Wanna see the bruises?" hehe

wellspankedbot said...

I have a situation that is slightly different - although still caused a cringe in a vanilla situation...

I'm looking to buy a new couch, a friend of ours makes couches for a living. Basically, you give him a picture of what you want and he makes it.

We were talking over dinner the other night and I mentioned that I wanted him to make me a couch. I showed him the picture of the one I wanted and said 'it has to be exactly like that, with higher arms'.

Then came the 'Why do you want higher arms?'

I went incredibly red, and managed to make up some story about needed to rest against them when I worked on my laptop.

So embarrasing!

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