Keyword Chaos: Revived

Can you believe I went through the entire month of January without a single Keyword Chaos post? I intend to remedy that deficiency right now.

What you see below are search phrases that someone used to find this blog. I am occasionally asked whether I invent these word sequences myself. I'm not certain whether to be annoyed or flattered by the question, but I cannot write material as funny/bizarre/crazy as some of these lines. Even so, I can't resist tossing in my two cents!

• spanking + wife - This could be a formula for excitement


• spanked grannies - Just because there's snow on the roof, don't assume the back porch isn't engulfed in flames!


• medieval spanking - Home torture chambers are all the rage this season


• exploring spanking - I picture Jacques Cousteau, wearing a wet suit and dripping with sea water, standing in someone's bedroom and filming the proceedings - "Note zee peenk coolur..."


• miss really spanking tub - I imagine the swimsuit competition is a must-see


• my ottom smarts - Could be autumn? Could be ottoman? Could be otter...


• nylon spanking - Silky smooth and burning bright, shimmering passion in the night


• paddling women butts ass bottom - Yes, I believe we know where the paddle is supposed to land


• spanking thermometer - Glass implements are simply a bad idea


• stable girls get spanked - Unstable girls get counseling


• jerking off bikini bottoms - TMI dude!


• over knee smacking messageboard - I just never got the hang of wincing and typing at the same time


• those words sent happiness - Hooray for Western Union


• adult girls spanked over swim suit - Most of us adult girls prefer the term "women"


• a play for valentine's day - I'm partial to "Much Ado About Nothing"


• adult bathing and spanking - Wet spankings really do hurt more


• adult spanking without pain - Then you're not doing it correctly!


• anal retread - I don't even want to think about what this might entail, let alone why someone might need one...


• antique erotic spankers - Hey, watch who you're calling antique!


• big bubble butts world lady contest - If my search words are any indication, this idea could be worth a fortune


• blood flow and erotic spanking - At the point where you draw blood, the spanking ceases to be erotic


• booty enhancing underwear for plus size - Don't invest your inheritance in this concept


• bosses spanking employees to orgasm - Perhaps it's time to put away the videos for a while


• butt plug punishment clips - If it's all the same, I prefer a butt plug without "punishment clips"


• canabulism little red round bottom - If you freaks learned to spell, you could be dangerous


• cellulite spanking - Now there's an appealing visual


• cheerleader having sex up the skirt - Just keep shaking those pompoms


• chimp love story - Love means never having to say, "Oops, I was aiming at Phil"


• cornertime french - mes fesses sont en douleur


• duct tape blowjob - Those heating and cooling guys have all the fun


• f/m spanking stories from anonymous - We certainly wouldn't want a story that someone put their name on


• first spankong stories - I think that's somewhere in Vietnam


• girlfriend spanks girl on bear bum - The worst part was the waxing!


• hairbrush really hurts - I can attest to that fact


• horny spankings - I don't care if it is stuffed, I refuse to bend over a goat!


• how much should spankings hurt? - Just enough to get the job done


• how two spank your man - You dirty two-spanking little vixen...


• I love lucy's spankings - So, it seems, did a huge TV audience


• in need of a spanking blog - You've come to the right place


• is it wrong to want a over the knee spanking? - No


• men spanked bare ass by their mothers with soap - Soap?


• old fashion enemma - It's so hard to find cast iron nozzles anymore


• panty girdle pleasure and pain - You're half right


• playing a bad girl getting spanked - I'm not a bad girl, but I play one on TV


• promantic spankings - We certainly wouldn't want to fool around with an amateurantic


• random minor pussy lips - Say what?


• scheduled spankings - If this is Thursday, that must be a bath brush


• sex and spanked on ketchin - I wonder if that's an object or a place


• sex spankind - We've discovered a useful new word - There's mankind, womankind, humankind, and now, spankind


• sexey lades underware - The chances of finding what you seek improve if you can spell even one word correctly


• sit on ice spanking session - No, the ice is applied after the spanking


• song of the paddle - Zippity-do-dah, Zippety-ay, My oh my, Why I can't sit today..."


• spamk in tight skirts - I don't care if she's wearing a clown costume, I don't want all that junk mail


• spank my bottom with a woman's weekly - I'm glad it wasn't a woman's monthly


• spanked then tied to desk - How many times do we have to go through this? Tie her down first, then spank her


• spanking positioner - It sounds as though there might be a crane involved


• spanking sayings - An ounce of paddling is worth a pound of talk


• spanking while straddling a chari - Chari is "an African river that flows northwest into Lake Chad" This maneuver would require very long legs, especially during the rainy season


• top 40 soft rock sensations - Soft rock is an oxymoron


• what foods can cause burning in my rectrum - Even WebMD can't help this poor soul until they improve their spelling


• what if spanking girlfriend turns me on - Let's hope she feels the same way


• which hurts most hairbrush slipper cane belt - The implement in his hand right now!


• why do I like sex with spankings - Two great tastes that taste great together!


• women spanking nylon slips - What could those poor slips have done to deserve such treatment?


• beadroom spanking - Honey, why are all those necklaces on the floor?