Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Keyword Chaos Has Returned

You knew it was bound to happen. It's time again to examine some of the unusual words and phrases that people type into search engines immediately prior to landing here.
  • bend over Bonnie - Just what I need, another nickname

  • spanking clubs - Let's hope this is a group of spankos and not some diabolical implement

  • ass quiz - Question #1: Are you bigger than a breadbox?

  • how to spank your wife - Talk first, then spank

  • how to spank your girlfriend - Same as above

  • do you spank your wife? - No, I don't have a wife

  • spanking hard to sit down - Spanking hard leads to not sitting down

  • my boyfriend wanted my ass - So I gift wrapped it and let him have it for his birthday

  • duct tape bra - It's easier to put on than it is to remove

  • Chinese panty pulling - Now there's a traditional ritual worth learning!

  • spanked with love - Love would be a good name for a paddle

  • I deserve a good spanking - Why does no one ever deserve a bad spanking?

  • 15 inch buttplug insertions - I hear there's a cute new doctor working in the ER

  • mesa spanking - Honey, why are we climbing all the way up here?

  • spanked woman's women's bottom - I find that most women conveniently come equipped with a woman's bottom

  • do girls get pleasure from a spanking - It's not quite that simple, but it can be very enjoyable

  • granny panties gusset - OK, I'll confess. I'm a granny and I wear panties with a gusset. Happy?

  • spanking justice - The first circuit spanko tribunal will please come to order. The defendant stands accused of attempting to hide a hairbrush...

  • spanking science - As the soft tissues of the buttocks compress upon the strike of a rapidly moving implement, the momentum of the paddle is converted into heat and a reddish discoloration quickly appears

  • take a break MBS - I think about it sometimes

  • buttman swat - Holey paddles, Buttman!

  • what bottoms are good for - There's a spanking 101 topic I hadn't considered

  • spankings hurt - There's just no getting around it

  • she was a much older woman and wore these granny cotton granny panties which she made me rub - Are you searching or starting a blog?

  • wife spanking in UK - I think the bottom goes on the left side...

  • Carmella Soprano swallows - Happy birthday, Tony!

  • ladies enjoy giving and receiving enemas - This might be an overgeneralization

  • spanking games to do with my girlfriend - Let's see... There's Spankopoly, Corporal Pursuits, Swat Poker, Guess the Implement...

  • spanko awakening - Find your inner spanko!

  • coping with a silky slip fetish - Three choices: (1) Buy some lingerie, (2) find a woman who wears them, or (3) find a new fetish

  • pepper spankings - Believe it or not, I've actually been spanked with a pepper mill!

  • tight girdle - That seems redundant

  • vanilla spankings - Such a waste

  • why is my bottom so sore? - That always happens when someone hits it many times with a leather strap

  • real paddled bottoms - I hate phony bottoms

  • a girls buttocks can become quite red when spanked hard with one of the larger paddles - This sounds like a quote from a spanko field guide

  • pirate spankings - Arrr! Who wouldn't love being lashed to the yardarm and flogged?

  • finding spanking - Did someone lose one?

  • joy of spanking - This might be the title of my next book

  • corporate spankings - Watch out for the board of directors

  • extra layer of padding for spanking - Yeah, like that ever works!

  • Kathy Ireland spanked - Who could ever forget those immortal words, "I want a home, a family, an occasional spanking..."

  • I am woman spanking - Here me sore!

  • romantic spanking diapers - What? No plastic pants?

  • spanking panties blog wedgie - OK, I'll tell you what. If one of the members of the panty patrol would like to start a wedgie blog, I'll link to it. Deal?


Paul said...

Bonnie, you are priceless!!! LOL
I'll bet Randy tells you that often. *G*
Warm hugs,

Anonymous said...

LOL!!! Too funny, Bonnie!!!


emeraldeyes said...

Great post, so funny!
My favourite - 'granny panties which she made me rub' I wasn't sure whether to laugh or feel queasy?!

emeraldeyes x

Anonymous said...

Great post as always but ummmm... what's a gusset?


Amber Pixie Wells said...

That was fantastic! I can't stop giggling.

Reesa Roberts said...

ROFL - I love your keyword posts! Absolutely hilarious! Thanks!


Bonnie said...

Paul - Thank you. It's funny you should mention Randy because he loves Keyword Chaos. He often helps me compose the responses.

Tigger - Thanks.

Em - Some of the queries are exquisitely weird. I have no idea what goes through people's minds (perhaps it's better that way).

Eva - A gusset, in the context of underthings, is a double fabric crotch. This blog is nothing if not educational!

APW - I'm glad you enjoyed it. The great thing about this feature is that readers provide most of the material. All I have to do is collect the best queries and then add a punch line.

Reesa - Thank you!

Alex spanks Allie said...

Oh my gosh, I cant help but laugh.. Thanks for the list Bonnie..


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