Thursday, November 02, 2006

Welcome to Whaxton College


Whaxton College is an exclusive multi-disciplinary coeducational private college nestled in the beautiful Shenandoah Mountains. Parents favor Whaxton for its small classes, personal attention, and strict discipline. Students prefer Whaxton for its broad ranging extracurricular activities, vibrant arts scene, and sports programs.

"I'm so glad I chose Whaxton. The cricket team was all I had hoped it would be. Next season, we're going to learn to hit a ball with our bats!" -Sandy (class of 2010)

The faculty at Whaxton arrives in the classroom with a magnificent blend of distinguished academic credentials and real world experience. With endowed chairs in percussive massage, disciplinary arts, corporal correction, and spanking science, some of America's finest minds and strongest arms are right here.

"After teaching at larger universities, it has been a genuine pleasure to work in close contact with the Whaxton student body." -Percival (associate professor of implement engineering)

The Whaxton educational experience is enhanced by the presence of world renowned researchers, artists, poets, and composers. In an event covered by national and global media outlets, 2006 saw the world debut of "Afterburn," the stunning new musical tragicomedy by two time Tony Award winner and adjunct faculty member Ethel Heiny. It tells the story of a middle-aged wife learning to love her inner spanko.

"The techniques demonstrated in my advanced bondage class were absolutely cutting edge." - Evelyn (class of 2007)

Beginning November 1, enrollment is open for the Whaxton class of 2011. Prospective students with a record of academic excellence, community involvement, and strong disciplinary achievement are invited to submit applications for admission. Candidates who are provisionally accepted will be asked to attend a private audition on campus during the last two weeks of January. Final acceptance letters will be mailed in April.

"Everyone is just so friendly here. All over campus I see people bending over to help others. It's a one of a kind learning environment." -Trish (class of 2009)

When it's time to select a seat of higher learning, why not choose Whaxton?

"Here at Whaxton, the sting's the thing!" -Rudy (class of 2008)

Earning our stripes since 1966

Whaxton College
Admissions Office
121 College Hall
3100 Leather Dr
Slappassony, VA 22608

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21 comments :

Master Fitz said...

Right, I'll be sending off for an enrolment pack for the brat ASAP.

Wonder if they have any teaching vacancies...

Katie_Spades said...

Hilarious Bonnie! That was so funny... I'll be sending in Jake's enrollment, LOL...

xoxo,
Kate

Brian said...

Bonnie! I think you have started a great school! Where do I sign up. You mean it's not real? *smack*

Well, it needs to be. There are a lot of needy and deserving wives out here.

Debbie said...

Love it. I'll be attending next fall, no question.

MaggieDear said...

Bonnie - What a great school! I would be more than happy to write letters of recommendations for several of my neighbors!

Fun post :-)

Paul said...

Great idea Bonnie, if I ever win the big one, tomorrows lottery is estimated to be about £85 million, I have one or two sites in mind.
Warm hugs,
Paul.

sparkle said...

This gives me a thought... is

whaxtoncollege.blogspot.com

available?

And if so, perhaps it would be amusing to set up a number of contributing faculty members to share their, uh, teaching experiences?

*giggling*
sparkle

cuddlybum said...

LOLOL - can I apply? please?

Very funny post Bonnie - very very funny!!

cuddlybum

Irch said...

I'll have my spankable gal submit her (ahem) Ass-A-T scores immediately.


...

sorry. begin groaning now.

Anne Elizabeth said...

Bonnie,
Clearly anoher innovator in the ivy league system !

Does there admissions packet letterhead have a paddle engraved on it ?!?

Happy Thursday !

Hugs/Sincerely,
Anne Elizabeth

Lily said...

What a brilliant idea, it sounds like fun would be had by all.

Take care,

Luv,

Lily.

Bonnie said...

Master Fitz - Perhaps you could audition together!

Kate - Thanks! I think Jake could be the dean!

Brian - I'm sure you're right. We would even need grades. Just line up the students at the end of the semester.

Debbie - You could be the star pupil. On the other hand, I wonder if it might be more fun to be the dunce...

Maggie - "Class, please be seated, or, um, whatever..."

Paul - Here's hoping your number comes up!

Sparkle - That's a funny idea. For example, the crew team couldn't afford a boat so they settled for the paddles. The cheerleading squad are getting new uniforms in the school colors of crimson and vermillion. Now let's sing our alma mater... The possibilities are endless!

Cuddly - Thanks!

Irch - I sure she earns fine marks.

Anne Elizabeth - Letterhead? We send them a real paddle!

ross said...

I've applied to be Dean of the Nursing School. And to coach cheerleading.

Bonnie said...

Lily - Thanks. ...And now, to celebrate alumni weekend, we will now cane the homecoming queen! Fun indeed.

Ross - You might also consider a position in the Athletic Department evaluating and purchasing uniforms for the beach volleyball team.

Doc said...

Enough of a sales pitch to make me want to transfer. I wonder what kind of scholarship program they have...

adam said...

I don't know why I lurk here!!..everytime I arrive # your site..you surprise, and make me smile.

I've added you to my "Shout-out" @ "After Paradise"...(Scroll, and look, beneath the SLIDEshow)..

~~Mass Delurk! Tomorrow!~~

xx,adam.

Mary said...

wow, Bonnie you are so cleaver - I loved the college add. I would like to have an application sent to my house right away.

Anonymous said...

hmm..I wonder if they have an MBA program with an emphasis on board meetings as well.

Thanks, Razor

PS, Bonnie may I post this thread on http://forum.explicitskin.com/index.php?mforum=happytails

Bonnie said...

Mary - Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Razor - Be my guest. I'm a member over at Happy Tails, although I don't get time to visit very often.

ross said...

Excellent idea.

Anonymous said...

What a hoot! I laughed my (ahem) ass off!

BTW, as I just recently discovered your blog (and I LOVE it!) I am trolling through the archives and having a blast. Funny, sexy/erotic, and no disciplinary sturm und drang, either.

And really well-written, too! :D

m

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