Our topic of the week was reactions to presumably vanilla friends, coworkers or relatives who discuss adult spanking and related pursuits. Here are your thoughts.
morningstar: My co-workers have from time to time discussed "kinky" activities. Most of the time, I just remain silent, listen, and take mental notes.
But when Fifty Shades came out, they were all reading it - and asked my opinion of the book. I hesitated for a split second, and then answered truthfully (because I am a TERRIBLE liar). "I thought it was a rather badly written romance novel."
Brooke: I've had that happen a few times and I usually turn bright red and try to keep quiet. It's happened more often recently, now that Fifty Shades is such a hot topic!
Hermione: Usually I listen intently but keep my mouth firmly closed. I'm too afraid of giving myself away if I participate in the discussion. Usually the subject is discussed in a playful, suggestive way, and I will join in the laughter.
Rod: Yes, that Fifty Shades book keeps cropping up. I was at a committee meeting when it was raised, off-topic. I was quite embarrassed as there were only two of us fellas there, and I'm not sure the other guy really knew what the book was about.
George: In my job, we use laminated checklists. I was with a female co-worked one time when she took one that measured about 3x12 and said to me, "this look like a paddle." I was caught off guard, but after a moment responded that it was probably too flimsy to hurt much. She never said any more, and to this day, I wonder...
Abby: My kids were discussing Fifty Shades when I walked into the room. They know I read a lot, so they laughingly asked whether I had read it. I said yes, but it did not seem all that realistic to me... and walked out.
Fiona: I often listen quietly. I will, periodically, include myself in the discussion, but never give anything away, other than that I'm adventurous. Those who know me know that to be the case in most things in my life.
Felicia Nemo: Oh, yes. Fifty Shades of Grey has certainly led to many interesting conversations in the lunch room. I usually listen and try and keep the grin off my face as many spout forth the virtues of such a book. I did not like it, particularly the metal health issues, but that is about as much as I have said on the topic in public. I am always more interested in those who don't participate in those discussions and their reactions. I wonder whether they are indeed one of us, but not wanting to give themselves away.
The Long Bean: I was with friends in a bar when the subject came up. I kept quiet and listened with a wry smile. From the conversation, it was clear that they did not know much about it, but there was one very attractive woman who was more forward about wanting to be spanked and trying other implements.
Later, another friend (who knew I was into BDSM) discretely tried to persuade me to fulfill her fantasy. However, she was with a vanilla partner and I knew that it would not be appropriate. So I never got to spank her. :(
Roz: The subject comes up fairly regularly with my work colleagues, and Fifty Shades, of course, hasn't helped. There's lots of discussion about that. You've got to wonder whether they are closet spankos. Or maybe not? I really want to think about it! It's all said in a lighthearted teasing manner and sometimes I join in in a bit, but I don't usually say that much.
Joeyred: I listen to the conversation. My friends and co-workers think I am much too vanilla to know anything about kinky "stuff" anyway.
Ronnie: It's happened a few times. I listen but stay quiet.
A couple of girls in our office block were recently talking about FSOG saying how good it was and asked me my opinion. I told the truth. I hadn't read it. They had surprised looks on all their faces. I think they couldn't believe there was a women who hadn't read it.
Six of the Best: In my lifetime, I've heard so called vanilla's starting their conversations with these immortal words, "I had a spanking good time this weekend." I just gave them a smirky smile. And then I said to them casually, "Your weekend must have sure been a 'hit.'"
I was surprised at a senior center to which I belong when I caught a few people reading "Fifty Shades of Grey." That book is stacked on one of the library shelves.
Marie Haynes: If the conversation is judgmental (That's just wrong!), then I pipe in with comments such as, “As long as everyone is happy, what difference does it make what adults do privately?” They usually have no response to that.
Anon: I once had an associate say as she walked out the door, "That deserves a spanking!" I was surprised and didn't know what to say. I wish I had the courage to say to her, "Would you like to help my wife with that?" I have often fantasized about one of my wife's friends helping with a spanking. She is reluctant and hesitant about hurting me, so a partner might help her to get into it. But I doubt that will ever happen!
Daisy: Oh, yes. The Fifty Shades book! I was at work and heard the other girls (all half my age) surreptitiously talking about it, and when I asked what they were talking about, they laughed suggestively and said, "Never mind, Daisy, you wouldn't understand..." I had to giggle to myself.
Lea: I have heard conversations involving spanking come up in the past. I never add anything to it as I worry I might give myself away by having TOO much knowledge on the subject.
Renee Rose: This is the worst for me! I am simultaneously turned on and feeling shameful about being turned on (if the story is not a sexual spanking).
Kaelah: I guess I am quite open when it comes to talking about spanking / BDSM in a vanilla environment. Or at least I used to be at the beginning of my journey. For instance, I once explained the meaning of "bondage" to co-workers (who didn't know about my kink and whom I didn't tell). I am a bit less open about the topic today, especially at work, because my openness nowadays also affects Ludwig and because I have the kinky community where I can discuss kinky topics all day long. Still I think I wouldn't keep my mouth shut if the topic came up in a vanilla environment today. Especially if I were confronted with false assumptions about spanking and kink.
I assume the worst situation for me would be if someone brought up "Fifty Shades" in a conversation and if it became clear that in their opinion that is what kink is all about. Because then I would feel very tempted to tell them about every single aspect in the book that in my opinion gives a wrong impression about spanking and kink and which could even potentially be dangerous if anyone used the book as a "how to" manual. And I would most probably go on with a long lecture about people who switch, safewords, freedom of choice, affectionate sadism, sexual orientations and their origins and the like, which might rather scare the poor vanillas away (and wouldn't be good for my health, either ;-) ).
Bonnie: This happens to me surprisingly often, especially given that I work in a mostly male environment. On Monday mornings, I may hear from over the wall, “Wow, the Seahawks SPANKED the Chiefs yesterday!” You can imagine my visualization. If someone is unhappy, I am told they have a “sore ass.” I am tempted to suggest they have no idea, but I just act oblivious and let it all slide on past.
Thanks to everyone who participated. I'm sorry for this late summary, but we had a few technical difficulties with our network connection. I'm still not certain it's right.
