Showing posts with label crying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crying. Show all posts

Monday, July 22, 2013

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for July 21

Our topic this week was crying. Here are your responses.

Reece Seever: I love this topic -- I just wish my answer changed over time. One of the reasons I was compelled to try spankings of the DD variety was the morbid fascination I felt when reading accounts of F/M spankings that led to the man sobbing after a hard paddling or caning. The thought of being reduced to that, and of submitting that thoroughly, terrifies but also fascinates and compels me. But, alas, it has not happened so far, and I wonder if it ever will.

Hermione: I have never cried before, during or after a spanking. Nor has my husband, to the best of my knowledge. The only tears that ever come to my eyes are the result of laughing too hard.

Elle: It's happened only twice in the last nine months, and not from pain.

Janey: Not very often do I cry. I don't think it's the pain, I can take a very hard spanking without crying. I think it's something more to do with how upset or perhaps disappointed I think he is with me at the time.

Tricia: I don't cry very often. When I do, it's either because of upset from disappointing my Hubby or stress relief.

I COULD cry now if I think about it too much because I have a terribly sore bottom from two pretty bad but well-deserved spankings. :(

Our Bottoms Burn: What Hermione said.

Abby: I rarely cry, very rarely. When I do shed tears it is usually after a punishment spanking, when we are talking about the why it happened and what has to change.

Cali Mom: I'm like Hermione too, although I'm intrigued by the thought of crying in a stress relief spanking.

Hobbes: No tears , just pleas, negotiations, yelps, howls, and promises. But no crying. Boring, I guess, for some, but not for us.

*Bonnie*: I have never cried from a spanking. We spank for fun. :)

Roz: I never used to cry and don't very often, but the incidence of crying seems to have increased recently for some reason.

For me, it's the combination of the pain, the intensity of the moment and the emotion, particularly if it is a discipline spanking. It's good to get the release of emotion from crying.

Prefectdt: I have never cried during a spanking. The isolation of corner time, after a spanking, can turn on the taps though.

S.: No. Tears can be brought on by the indignity of being OTK with a bare bottom, but that's just where I like to be if it is, and it always is, D's knee. Some may cry from their smarting bottom, but for me it is a pleasure.

Dee: I very rarely cry. It's difficult to produce a tear much less anything else. Those times when I have cried, it's been mainly from allowing myself to let go. So I guess it's a stress reliever for me. It's something I would like to be able to do more often because of its calming effect but also because it's part of my spanko fantasies. :)

Anon #1: I have never cried before, during or after a spanking - although often fantasize about being brought to tears by a spanking. I am more likely to cry when we have soft, gentle loving sex and I become overwhelmed by the emotional feelings of being loved by this wonderful man.

lunaKM: I have cried during a spanking. It's usually a pain processing response and is a release valve for intense sessions. It's not often, but it feels good to just let your body respond however it needs to.

But there are other times where I've requested a spanking in order to relieve stress and deal with the mess of life. During these spanking sessions, the goal is to cry, sob, scream and let it all out. It doesn't mean I'm having a bad time. In fact, it means it's working.

I feel purified when those sessions are done, just refreshed and worry free again.

Crying, for me, muddles my ability to focus on my other responses and to really enjoy the spanking. I don't stop it happening because my body must need it and I don't stop natural responses to pain and play when they happen. But I prefer not to cry.

Ronnie: I have never cried before, during or after a spanking.

Anon #2: I rarely get spanked to the point of tears, probably because my husband doesn't spank me quite as long or hard as he could.

Houston Switch: I have never shed tears as an adult being spanked. I came close a few times. I'll be looking for that perfect spanking when it happens.

Marie Pinkerton: We don't spank for the tears. That's not what spanking is for us.

Jenny: Never to tears, though I want to experience that.

Tara: I have cried from the pain, but only a bit and only just recently. I want to have a storm of emotional release, but I can't quite get there. I've cried afterward though while he hugged me. I think we laugh during spankings more often.

Clint: My wife has cried from a spanking before, however it's extremely rare. She has a very high pain tolerance and therefore doesn't usually cry from the pain of the spanking, regardless of how intense it is.

If she does cry, which again is rare, it's from the guilt that she feels in that moment. She feels bad if she perceives me as being disappointed in her, or if she feels her actions have negatively impacted our family.

My wife would probably be better suited to answer your final question, but from my perspective as the HoH in our marriage, I believe that crying enhances the spanking. It's more therapeutic for my wife to release those emotions, and her crying really intensifies the emotional bonding experience between the two of us.

Loki Darksong: There are those occasions when my wife has broken out into tears during a spanking. She said that it was not on account of the pain. Some crying had occurred during moderate level spankings. But her tears fall when she feels relaxed enough for them to come. She told me that she dislikes crying because it makes her look weak. However, she also knows that there are times when she has to cry in order to relieve all the stress that she keeps bottled up inside.

For myself, I have never cried during a spanking. As both male and a top, I have learned that some in the spanking community tend to frown upon this, with many female bottoms and subs being the most vocal. It is a shame. I find myself feeling very envious of those who can cry while in the midst of a spanking. It does sound like quite an experience.

Belle L: I learned early on to hold back my tears. My father would get angry and critical when we cried. I only saw him cry three times (when his sister died, when his father died, and once when he went out with relatives and came home drunk). I have been a nurse for many years, and I have had to hold back tears. My tears usually come when I am alone or when I feel very safe. I tend to cry more with expressions of compassion than with threats or actual punishment. Sometimes I will cry watching a movie when I wouldn't cry in real life. The only time I continued to cry and couldn't stop was when the doctor told me my husband would most likely die before the night was up. I feel as though I would have cried forever if things hadn't gotten better. My husband doesn't cry when he spanks me, but he does use a lot of reasons not to spank me.

Bonnie: I cry very, very rarely. Almost never in fact. When it happens, it's a complete surprise to both of us. I think this response arises not from the pain of a spanking, but from a sense of being suddenly and unexpectedly overwhelmed and out of control.

It's difficult for me to reflect further because it happens so seldom. As a funny side note, I cry all the time at movies and even dopey TV shows. Spankings, though, are somehow different and I don't know why.

Thank you, everyone, for this great turnout and excellent exchange of ideas. See you next week!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Jan 27

Our topic this week was tears. Here are your responses.

Spanking Photo Blog: When I make mischief, my Master gives me a remedial spanking depending upon the seriousness of my behavior. On these occasions, I usually cry during and after the punishment. I guess it's due to a mix of discipline and regret for not being able to meet the expectations of my Master.

Mr. BB: As an HoH/spanker, I find that tears during disciplinary spankings come more naturally from disappointment and pain. Emotionally, all tears can be cathartic and stress relieving.

Klara: I cry every time that my spanker uses the cane. This instrument represents for me the worst punishment imaginable. Therefore, I start to whimper even before the first stroke. I guess it's because I fear the cane. Each hit, for me, is torture. And during the period of time between blows, my legs shake like a leaf.

Fondles: I've only cried once towards the climax of a stress relief, grounding or centering spanking session. BIKSS did continue despite the fact that it was the first time he'd seen me shed tears from a spanking. We both felt that I had been so bottled up emotionally that it wasn't too much of a surprise.

When we have a "discussion" of missteps or when we're sorting through some hurt or argument, the forgiveness I feel from him at the end will ALWAYS leave me in tears. It comes both from having disappointed him, and being relieved at having a resolution and being back in sync.

Hermione: I have never cried before, during or after, unless you count tears that are the result of laughing too hard.

Elle: I've only had tears once. It was a release from knowing that I disappointed him (and myself!). :)

Sir Q's mlb: Different spankings, different reactions. Typically, it is simply a huge silly-grin on my face when we are done. That, or I'm sailing off into space. :)

I have cried, but it has been on rare occasions. Typically, it's been when I was stressed beyond reason and the tears weren't associated with the spanking so much as the emotions that were causing the stress.

Reece Seever: Unfortunately, no. While the thought of it terrifies me, I think that kind of cathartic release would an experience.

Abby Sage: I rarely cry, but I wish I did. I find it hard to let go in that manner. I find that rage comes as a defence sometimes, but it does not last. When his strength and will overcomes mine, I can endure what he gives me and find only peace. I should like to cry, but I think focusing on tears is less likely to encourage them.

Dr. Ken: I never try to spank someone to tears. Most of the spankings I give are of the "just because it's fun," or maybe a few mock punishments (or "funishment"). But bringing someone to tears is never the goal. There have been a couple of times when it might have brought a tear or two to someone's eye, but almost never to full-out crying. That's just not what I'm about.

Joeyred: I have never had a female cry during or after a spanking. Many times, we are laughing and just having a fun time.

I have had tears well up in my eyes from the intensity of a hard caning. But, I cannot say that I cried during the spanking.

Hobbes: We are with Hermione. The only tears around here are the rare occasions when we are laughing so hard tears come. There have been a few rather ridiculous spanking situations that had us both laughing hard.

Tricia: I have cried a few times afterward. It was mostly from the thought of how much I disappointed him. :(

Jake: A while back, my wife Joy requested that I spank her to the point of tears. It actually took a couple tries for us to get there. She took far more spanking than I thought she ever could, and I was frankly up against my own personal limit for hurting her before the dam burst. It not something we've repeated, but it's come up a time or two in late night conversations...

Loki Darksong: On a few occasions, my wife has shed tears from some of my spankings. As for me, it has not happened yet. But I am curious on how it would feel to do so. I am envious a bit of women when they shed tears. I understand that it is a liberating experience.

Lady Koregan: Some of the men I've spanked cry, others do not. PC always cries both during and for a little while after a discipline spanking. His tears are partly from the pain and partly from remorse.

I have had others cry simply because it hurt and few, but not many, just let out a flood of pent-up stress, emotion, and frustration. But then I've had some who take very intense spankings and never shed a single tear. People are so wonderfully unique. :)

S: No way. I'm far too excited about what is happening to my upturned bottom, and the thoughts of what will probably happen next, to start blubbering. Anyway, it would spoil my make-up.

Simon: I have never cried during a session. Once, my Mistress decided that she would try to punish me until I cried, but she eventually gave up because the damage to my bottom was becoming too severe. Since I am taking part in these sessions for enjoyment, I rather think crying would defeat the objective. However, I do appreciate that for some couples crying is part of the whole package. As with everything else, it all comes down to the individuals and their own feelings.

Jessa: I cry when I'm receiving a discipline spanking. I think it's more because I have a very strong personality and I tend to be willful. So while I know the discipline must be carried out, a part of me wants to resist. That willful, resistant side gets angry to the point of tears.

Once the spanking is over, and once aftercare has been given, I cry again because I'm so overwhelmed with the resulting feelings of subspace.

Sara: I have cried for many different reasons, including emotional release and sadness from knowing that I hurt him. Mostly, though, it's simply when I need to cry and the spanking is the trigger. I know I am in a safe place to let go.

Jenny: I would like to cry. Once or twice, I've felt close to crying, as his spankings have gotten harder and faster (at my request). Most recently, I recall that he surprised me by going over the expected count in my birthday spanking and that had me on edge as I wondered whether I could tolerate any more. It was a hand, cane, and then wooden paddle spanking. This was a couple of months ago. I loved it, actually! Later I told him that I expected him to stop at the "number" and he said that he just felt like continuing at that point.

Alas, some personal issues have made me less excited about spanking since then (nothing serious for me, just friends' problems and multi-week household projects). His birthday is next week, though, and I've already asked to take his birthday spanking so I'm looking forward to that. I think I am ready for more of this now.

I think the tears will come from being overwhelmed by the onslaught of spanks and building pain. Before that birthday spanking, I thought disappointing him would be a major factor, but I was quite close to crying, and it was not a punishment at all. I do whimper as he reaches for a new implement and rubs it prior to starting to spank with it, which is sort of a buildup to crying.

I think disappointment and emotion as a precursor may be something we as spankees identify as a major component just because we feel emotion at times when the spanking is for punishment and there is genuine disappointment. We feel that we have disappointed the spanker, and if we cry, we put those two things together. I guess we should all try to have more "non-emotional, non-disappointment, non-stress relief" spankings as a test. And let us know how they turn out!

Elysia: The first time I shed spanking-related tears, it was *before* he spanked me. That was a punishment, and the tears were definitely due to contrition.

I have since cried during a spanking (also punishment) and I would attribute my tears to a combination of the vulnerability and contrition that I felt. I don't cry from the physical pain unless there's an emotional connection to it.

Tears are not something we "aim for." Our aim is for my feelings of contrition and repentance to help me feel better. It also helps us to communicate better afterward. Maintenance and erotic spankings have never brought me to tears. There are those combination ones though. Hmm. Come to think of it, I've shed tears *after* a spanking quite a number of times. It was definitely contrition-related.

Houston Switch: My answer is simply "not yet." I hope to get spanked with enough physical and emotional intensity to fall over the emotional and pain cliff to get there...

Daisy: It depends on the reason. I find great emotional release through spanking. Sometimes, if it is really stinging, it brings me to tears, because, I think, that is all I can do to get through it! Just let go, and get into it...

If it is a spanking because I have hurt or disappointed him in some way, then I cry before, during and after because I am so upset to have let him - and myself – down.

If he is giving me a stress relief? Again, yes. I have no hangups or issues with crying.

The only time I don't cry is when he is spanking me for losing my temper... and boy, do I lose it big time when I lose it. I am NOT submissive. I will scream, shout, be sarcastic and yes, downright rude and disrespectful. I argue and demand, and am altogether so beside myself with rage I don't even THINK of the inevitable consequences! At these times, he spanks me there and then. No matter how hard or prolonged, no matter how scarlet my bottom becomes, my temper and rage outweigh all that. Cry? NEVER. Give in? NO WAY! I would DIE first! He realises this and sensibly stops before any damage was done.

He has learned over time to wait, let me calm down, and then deliver the discipline. Once I am calm and contrite, he will get the apology he needs and deliver the punishment earned which has me sobbing with shame at the way I had behaved!

So, to sum up...

Stress relief: Maybe before (if stressed enough), and most likely during and/or after
Maintenance: Not before, maybe during, and probably after
Just because: Not before, and probably not during or after
Discipline: Probably before, most likely during and definitely after
Erotic or fun: Never

Bonnie: I actually cry very seldom over a spanking. I've always thought this was a little strange, especially when I cry regularly over fairly trivial issues. But I can see here that I'm in good company. I think it's just the way I'm wired. The pain draws out endorphins and other hormones that make me feel energized, turned-on, and anything but sad. Perhaps my body has been conditioned over the past thirty years to know that good stuff usually follows the sore bottom.

Thanks to everyone who joined us this week. I hope to see you all again next time!