Bonnie's Mailbag: Pandemic Edition

Can you believe it's been more than two years since I shared the contents of the MBS mailbag? Needless to say, it's overflowing! I have condensed a number of the questions, comments, and responses to advance the cause of clarity and brevity.

Question: Do you accept guest posts?

Response: I only rarely feature articles or stories written by guests. The reason is that I seek to present a specific tone and style to MBS readers. Other voices are welcome, but I want such posts to fit within the established framework of this blog.

Years ago, I told a reader that I would allow them to contribute a guest post. After the story was submitted, I realized that the subject matter was outside the scope of My Bottom Smarts. The author was understandably disappointed when I didn't post it. I vowed to avoid that situation in the future.

Question: I am curious why a vast majority of [video] productions are punishment in nature. I am more interested in romantic, erotic types of play.

Response: I believe that producers base their offerings upon the buying habits of their audience. You might enjoy some of Shadow Lane's videos.

Comment: I'm sorry but Im obsessed with ur butt

Response: I'm sorry it's so distracting. Maybe you could take up philately or ornithology to get your mind on something else.

Question: Are you interested in creating your own spanking fetish dating site?

Response: No, thank you. That doesn't sound like a good business venture for me.

Comment: Good evening Bethany:

I hope you and your husband have had a good weekend. I follow you and love your profile.

Response: If you don't know my name, I have to wonder how much time you spent reading my profile.

Question: Do you ever brat so your man will spank you real hard and long??

Response: That wouldn't be my usual approach, but yes, I have. With my husband, it doesn't take much provocation. Besides, it's more fun when it's his idea.

Question: Do you still have the ability to communicate with [well known former blogger]?

Response: I'm sorry. I do not. Unfortunately, many bloggers disappear without a trace.

Request: Hi Stephanie I would like to spank your bare bottom. I've been into spanking my whole life. I would also like to get a real spanking because I have been a very naughty little boy.i want a real spanking no safe words. Have been to see several pro dommes and was very dissatisfied.I would love to make videos too.if you can help me with this I would really appreciate it.

Response: Who's Stephanie, why do you want to spank her, and why are you telling me about it?

Request: Will you update the link for my [spanking] blog?

Response: Yes, absolutely. Thank you for letting me know!

Question: How do people get questions answered off of ur blog do they email them to you and then you post them for results?

Response: Yes, sometimes, but more often I just respond to your email.

Question: How did you learn to stop worrying and love the paddle?

Response: This phrase appears at the top of the right column of my blog beneath my name. It serves as a secondary tagline. These words are a variation of the subtitle to Stanley Kubrick's classic 1964 Cold War film Doctor Strangelove (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb). Just as the concept of nuclear war was (correctly) considered to be inconceivable, so too is the notion that a sane person might love being spanked with a paddle, at least for most people. It's my obscurely humorous way of telling readers that my desires occasionally wander outside the usual norms.

Question: Have you ever been spanked while wearing a butt-plug tail? If not, would you do it if Randy asked you?

Response: No and yes.

Request: Hello I am looking for a sub that wants to be trained and learn under my guidance??? Please apply if interested?

Response: Why all the question marks? Are you maybe not so sure that's what you really want?

Question: Will you review my book?

Response: I must respectfully decline. I don't always have time to read entire books within a reasonable review period. Also, this arrangement potentially places me in a difficult position. If I didn't like a book, I wouldn't want to trash it (not my style), but I couldn't in good conscience plug it either just because the author sent me a free copy. MBS readers are entitled to my honest reactions. I have reviewed books for a few long time friends, but in those cases, I was fairly certain that I would find plenty to enjoy in their writing.

Question: I have a severe spanking fetish but my wife finds it strange. I want to discuss it with her but am really nervous. How do I broach this with her? Is there away to approach a woman about this without freaking her out?

Response: I wrote a tutorial on this subject that may contain some useful thoughts. You didn't mention whether you want to ask your wife to be the spanker or the spankee. Some vanilla partners are willing to assume the role of spanker, but rarely will they consent to be spanked. The latter request, if pushed, could damage your relationship.

Question: Tell me what it feels like to be caned

Response: It makes my bottom hurt.

Question: I am interested in is seeing [videos of] older women being spanked by much younger men. If you have an idea how to find this I would be so thankful.

Response: I agree that the content you seek is fairly scarce. This is primarily because most female spankees working in commercial video either retire relatively young or become exclusively tops. I strongly recommend Erica Scott's work. She is a brilliant, beautiful, experienced spanking model. Erica's spankers are exclusively male and often younger. Clare Fonda is a switch who appears mostly with women. However, I recall seeing at least one scene with a younger male spanker. Beyond that, you might try searching sites like Spankingtube. They have some amateur videos that might fit the bill. For photographs, you may like a blog named Spanking the Mature Woman.

There are lots of us older women who get our share of spankings, but unfortunately this population is underrepresented in commercial videos.

Question: Have you ever been hit so hard with a paddle on your ass that it took your breath away?

Response: Yes, that's definitely happened. Heavy wooden sorority style paddles strike with an intensity that is unlike any other spanking implement. At this point, I shouldn't be surprised, but I am.

Question: Why do I feel so guilty for receiving a spanking?

Response: I'm not inside your head so I cannot know definitively. I can only speculate. Perhaps it's because you find that you enjoy something that you were once conditioned to believe was negative. As adults, however, we can recognize that spankings don't have to be for punishment and the people who receive them are not necessarily bad (unless we like it that way!). If spankings calm your mind and rejuvenate your spirit, then this is a blessing to be cherished.

Comment: Randy is a very lucky guy to have found a good spanko partner like you.

Response: I hear this comment a lot and I imagine Randy would agree. But I always think, "What about me?" I talk regularly with women who wish they could find a good partner who would spank them. This street runs both ways. I also feel very, very fortunate.

Comment: My god I need to touch that butt

Response: You and your diety are just going to have to find some other butt to touch.

Comment: You might think about a book -- you certainly have the material.

Response: I want to make my thoughts and experiences available to as wide an audience as possible. I seek to reach people out there - young and old, men and women, rich and poor, straight and LGBT+, all around the world - who have an interest in spanking. The message I share is that consensual adult spanking is a perfectly acceptable interest and activity. Whether it's erotic, disciplinary, or play, spankings can be beneficial for both parties in many different ways. I hope one day to live in a world where spankos are accepted without shame or ridicule. I am proud of who we are, and I would like others to feel that way too.

So, yes, I could write a book, but I would rather directly share my contribution with the world.

Question: Do you mind if I "borrow" a feature from your blog to use in my own?

Response: No, I don't mind as long as you don't copy my content without attribution. There isn't much in the blogging world that is genuinely new. Most of the regular features that I present have been adapted from somewhere else. I strive to make my spin on it a bit more interesting and relevant to MBS readers. It would be hypocritical to try to deny others the same opportunity.

Question: Do you ever wear panties with flower prints on them?

Response: Yes, I own some that fit that description.

Question: I am just entering into a relationship and would like your advice please. Any chance you can talk?

Response: It's a pleasure to meet you. Sure, we can talk. What's on your mind?

Comment: I read your comment to Hermione's recent question about a spanking desire or need that was far exceeded. And you wrote:

"Do I try to get him to stop? Do I try to escape? Do I just hang on and try to ride it out? While my husband is in control, I ultimately get to decide."

And I loved that last sentence! Because I don't believe in "Doms" or "submissives." How can you call yourself a "Dom" if the spankee, "...ultimately gets to decide"? The existence of "safewords" demonstrates that it is the spankee who has the real power. Do too much/too hard, she calls "STOP!" - and you stop! And that's the way it should be. So who's the real Dom...?

Response: Many people who observe our communities of kink from the outside fail to recognize this aspect of our relationships. In the case of Randy and me, it's something that we have fine tuned over the decades. Without this largely unspoken compact, it just wouldn't work.

Question: Is it true that women with big butts love spankings?

Response: No, this is a logical error known as an inductive fallacy. Bonnie is a woman. Bonnie has a big butt. Bonnie loves spankings. Therefore, women with big butts love spankings. NOT. We cannot reliably infer the preferences of hundreds of millions of people based upon a sample size of one. Each person makes up their own mind about the desirability of spankings and there is no reason to suspect that bottom size has any influence over this decision.

There's actually more, but this is plenty for now. Have a great week and please stay safe!