Keyword Chaos: Sheltered Spring Edition

These are search terms that people used to find this blog:

• "anal retread" – I do not want to know


• "anticipating a spanking" – It's good to have plans


• "asking for a spanking story" – Please write me another one with a dragon this time


• "attitude adjuster paddle" – I had one of those broken on me


• "bat lady sunday brunch" – Who knew Batgirl could cook?


• "big old ass" – Who you calling old?


• "blistering spanking" – Blisters are definitely overrated


• "booty diaries" – If those cheeks could talk


• "bratting" – Moi? Never


• "carly simon spanking" – Yes, she's one of us


• "cheerleader paddling" – They just never learn


• "convelsing" – It's a dessert made with covfefe


• "cornertime generator" – We can still spank if the lights go out


• "counting spanks" – Spankers and spankees use different number systems


• "diy spanking machine" – Hazard of dating an inventor


• "doggy style and spanking" – Let's put the pooch in the guest room until we're done


• "dr don spankologist" – I'd love to see that on a framed certificate


• "embarrassing spanking story" – 43 misspellings and the grammar is atrocious


• "erica scott spanked" – I wish her happy times as well


• "girls wearing thongs backwards" – It's easy. The skinny part goes in the back


• "greased butt" – It's not hard to imagine what comes next


• "handprints spanking" – Great for pictures, but soon obscured in any real spanking


• "how many spanks should i get" – You should be spanked until the spanker is satisfied


• "how to spank girlfriend" – Slap her on the butt a bunch of times


• "humiliating punishment" – Getting spanked with a cod


• "i like being spanked" – Small world. Me too!


• "insert my plug" – No, thank you, that's not the kind of thing we share


• "kama sutra spanking" – I must have missed that part


• "kinky no nawa" – I have no idea what this means


• "kinkyness test" – I got an A!


• "lost bet spanking" – Do I have to win or lose to get that spanking?


• "maintenance spanking stories" – The building superintendent had this thick toolbelt…


• "mbs horsing around" – We have lot of fun here


• "millennia rump" – It's not just generational or the rump of the century


• "mixed bag of spankings" – So what other toys are in there?


• "most embarrassing spanking" – No, I will not dress as an Oompa Loompa


• "most painful spanking implement" – The one in his hand


• "naked birthday spanking" – Let's party!


• "oldfashiongirlspanking" – Veronica, we love you


• "pantied and spanked" – So if getting pantsed means to lose your pants, does being pantied mean the same thing?


• "princess kelley spanking" – Yes, I believe she's still spanking


• "professional spankee" – I'm more of an experienced amateur


• "punishment and consequences" – I like to inspect the consequences in the bathroom mirror


• "reasons to spank your girlfriend" – (1) She wants you to


• "restrained spanking" – No need to hold back, just have at it


• "reubanesque" – Nah, I just have a big butt


• "royal hiney" – It can be a pain


• "sandpaper spanking" – Works best when you use it on a paddle


• "scottish spanking" – Maybe we need to order a tawse


• "self spanking assignment" – Write a five page essay describing how your bottom felt


• "sex after spanking" – Just like chocolate and peanut butter


• "soc.sexuality.spanking" – Ah, the good old days


• "sorted spanking specs" – Request for Proposal


• "spank bubble butt" – It's a jacuzzi, there are supposed to be bubbles


• "spank girlfriend" – It turns out that girlfriends are good for lots of other things as well


• "spankbrogs" – The dictionary says brog means to prod with a pointed instrument


• "spanked in girdle" – If my bottom swells, I'll never it off


• "spanking bonanza" – Why, Hoss, that's a really big belt


• "spanking booth" – Where do I volunteer?


• "spanking competition" – On your marks…


• "spanking cowboys" – They can lift my gingham dress anytime


• "spanking diagram" – You're making this way too complicated


• "spanking first" – Fooling around after


• "spanking for fun" – And great fun it is


• "spanking hose" – That damn thing leaves nasty marks


• "spanking miss" – Big swing, strike one!


• "spanking on tv" – We discovered that it won't support my weight


• "spanking positions" – I recommend skipping the Arching Pterodactyl


• "spanking sit spot" – I love those little reminders every time I sit down


• "spanking tales and toons" – What's most remarkable about pretend spankings is that they don't hurt


• "spanking therapy stories" – Then this big man comes in with a white coat


• "spanking tunes" – Hanky Panky by Madonna


• "spanking works better on a bare ass" – Depends upon who is defining "better"


• "spankomatic" – Have you got another quarter?


• "spankong stories" – The first paddle-shaped chew toys for dogs


• "spankophilia" – That's why we're here


• "spankopoly" – Go to the corner, go directly to the corner…


• "straddle spanking" – Beware the double hairbrush drumroll


• "summer spanking" – Ah, memories of warm sun, cool drinks, and discarded bikini bottoms


• "swat man what's my safe word" – What's the frequency, Kenneth?


• "the feel of a paddle" – Starts out cool and smooth, ends up hot and prickly


• "true human spanking stories" – As opposed to what, robots?


• "unscramble brunchi" – But we just had breakfast


• "vermont country store bath brush" – Pure pain in a vanilla package


• "waiting for a spanking" – I've learned that a stage yawn is inappropriate in this situation


• "what happens to naughty girls" – I think you just want me to say it again


• "wire hanger spanking" – Screw Joan Crawford

Stay home and stay safe, dear friends!