Happy Father's Day! Our topic this time was whether and how relationships progress from recreational spanking to domestic discipline. Here's what you had to say.
Kenzie: We sure did. When I first brought it up to him, I brought up spanking in a playful, foreplay kind of way. After a few months, I slowly began bringing up other DD things. Eventually, it just turned into a DD relationship where the spanking was fun, but also discipline.
Dragon's Rose: Yep. I wanted DD, but Dragon didn't. After a lot of begging on my part, I talked him into fun spankings. After a few years, I asked for DD again. He said yes. It took a bit of trial and error to find the right balance. A few tears and lots of hugs. Now he is an absolute spanko. There's no turning back now.
*Bonnie*: No. I don't know if we will ever be in a full DD relationship. I would like it, but for him, spanking is just a fun thing we do. If it became discipline, it wouldn't be a playful thing, it would be work. He is having a hard time with that transition.
Reece Seever: Yes. We engaged in light spanking, pretending that it was "punishment" for bad acts, but it was really just role playing. We later agreed that needed to stop, and we then began experimenting with DD.
Hermione: We started with playful spankings as a regular part of foreplay. The spankings grew more structured and intense over time, as we experimented with implements and rituals. We do not, however, have a DD relationship. Spankings are still for pain and pleasure.
Mona Lisa: We have started with spanking for pleasure. DD is not something we want in our marriage.
Christy: We started with spankings in the bedroom just for fun. Then we hit a really hard spot in our relationship. I lost the motivation to do anything. I didn't want to take care of him, the children, or the house. I brought up DD to him as a way to help improve our relationship. It took a long time to make the transition, but it works for us. We don't fight as much and I feel closer to him than I ever have before. We are happier now and everyone is taken care of.
Kim B.: No. There was no play spanking for us. I was a very dominant female, so if he had spanked me, I would of spanked back!
Once while we were dating exclusively and on a trip to Chicago, I broke his razor being green with jealousy for no reason. He spanked me OTK. I was flabbergasted, but I knew then he was for me. That was almost 25 years ago! We don't play spank because it only seems to cause bratting for a real one which I still get a lot! Without it, I don't know where we would be!
Kurt: Our spanking started when I mentioned to my bride that my first wife had liked to be spanked. Being an adventurous sort, she said that she might like to try that. It was exciting , and became a part of our lovemaking. Then we evolved into playing with it, especially if we were betting on games, like ping-pong which really lends itself to betting swats for the loser. LOL Although I was the life-long spanko, and the top, I agreed to get swatted if I lost the games. We played cribbage, checkers, whatever for a swat a point, and still do. That evolved into some other spanking and paddling for our Better Living Through Compensation, which I've mentioned before as well as a little discipline, though we really don't need that often.
I recall a wooden cribbage board once serving as a surprisingly effective paddle.
Our Bottoms Burn: After over three decades, it still for fun. Discipline for alpha's? Not hardly.
Bob B: I have always been a top and spanking has always turned me on sexually, so I have always used it as foreplay. I have always been up front with all my girlfriends and have been very lucky with the ones I have been with. I don’t think any of them have been particularly into it, but accepted it as part of our sex life. Especially my lovely wife who says it turns her on because it turns me on so much. Having a high pain tolerance helps as well of course.
None of my relationships have been based around domestic discipline, it would have to be a need of the person I was with, having no desire myself to discipline anyone because I thought they need it.
Archedone: Spanking was my idea. I've always had the desire to have a woman spank me. I love the feeling of giving up control prior to being spanked and during. We do not have a DD relationship, but role play at it. That does not mean she does not set my bottom on fire and leave a few welts. She didn't care for it at first, not understanding why I liked and wanted to be spanked and the fear of injuring me. Once we passed that part, she was all for it, and now enjoys spanking me.
Roz: Yes, we engaged in spanking for play before introducing DD to our relationship. I am naturally submissive, in that I have always tended to defer to others' views, decisions and we decided we wanted to try taking it further than the bedroom.
The transition wasn't easy, it took some time to develop and to get used to. We started slowly with some rules being introduced and progressed from there.
D.: One day I gave in to temptation, and landed a hearty spank on the pouting seat of S's tight skirt. She gave a surprised squeal, and then gave me a cheeky grin to show me that this was acceptable. From there, we progressed and it was not long before her bare bottom was getting spanked long and hard, but lovingly, raising it to a smarting glow. As I said last week, she is usually quite willing to offer her bottom to my spanking whims, which raise her to a pitch of sexy excitement. We also play games,in which she gets spanked if she loses.
DD is another matter; it implies a penalty for an offence, which would have to be severe enough to make its point, and could well put her off our happy fun spankings. DD is not for us, thanks.
Hobbes: It started as fun and has remained that since neither of us wants anything else.
Tricia: My hubby has spanked me for fun for most of our relationship. I came across DD about 9 months ago and finally brought the idea to him about 6 months ago. It was a harder transition for him I think. He didn't feel that spankings as discipline would help when I actually like to be spanked.
That was NOT the case AT ALL! Totally different feelings and emotions are involved with the two. One thing that I have noticed is that I've only had like one "fun" spanking (with the exception of playful swats) since starting DD. :( I may need to ask about that. ;)
Bonnie: Our path has included many bends and turns. We continue to learn and grow as we proceed through life. Randy spanks me for many reasons and in many different ways. We have much in common with DD couples – I am submissive to him and in most things follow his lead. I embrace this role and find it exciting, fulfilling, and enjoyable. He spanks when he believes it is necessary, appropriate, or desirable. He decides whether or when our spankings happen. My body is available for his pleasure.
And yet, there is one key difference. He does not punish. More accurately, he will not punish. This is his choice. If he were to tell me that a spanking was intended to be punishment, I would take my place across his lap and accept the spanking. But that's not our dynamic.
As an added twist, I have always been turned on by traditional corporal punishment scenarios. We role play spanking and paddling scenes because we both enjoy it. In that moment, it may feel like discipline to me, and it certainly hurts for real, but these activities don't qualify as domestic discipline by any common definition.
Thank you all for your interesting responses. See you next weekend!