Sunday, March 13, 2011

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Mar 13

Our question of the week dealt with the spanko number and whether it might have some applicability in the real world. Here are your thoughts.

Xantu: If, and it is a big IF, Master allowed me to play with others, then yes, I think it would be nice and even probably important to know exactly what they get out of spanking and other aspects of play. But I think I would want to know more than their number.

Uncle Nick: Nope. When I trim up a chit, the severity is based on her delinquency. Sure, I enjoy spanking a girl, but it is a punishment and I don't do it without good reason. If madam wants to avoid my right hand, she can either take her hook or learn to do as she is told.

Justagirl: I don't play. In the event that I didn't have the boy (horrible thought) and had to date again, it would absolutely help to know his number. Since I don't play and want real disciplinary and sexual spankings, I would be disappointed in someone who took it all too lightly. Pun possibly intended...

Raven Red: Still on the numbers? Just keep the lower ones for me, please!

Hermione: I'm not comfortable with thinking of someone in terms of a number. It seems too much like the pop psychology personality tests inflicted on groups of office workers. Once you're labeled as "green," "purple" or whatever, it influences how people see you and interact with you.

I am interested in all three types of spanking. However, until now, I have only experienced sexy and fun ones. In the unlikely event that I would ever be in a position to interview a potential spanking partner, I'd like to discuss the matter him and find out his preferences. There are too many gray areas to rely solely upon a single digit.

Michelle Carlyle: The spanko number works for me. I fantasize about real spanking – that's what really gets me off. But if a guy abruptly spanked me in real life, I'd rip his larynx out. However, it would turn me on if the guy was a real spanko and wanted to discipline me, but we agreed to limit our spankings to playtime. Just for that bit of realism. So yes, I'd like a number, just for communication purposes. Maybe it could be a starting point for "The Conversation." But I don't think the number should limit you. It shouldn't be used in black and white terms. Otherwise, you run into the labeling problem that Hermione brought up.

Abby: Yes, to a point. I see the numbers as being fluid. You may start off thinking three and end up thinking one through seven!

Emily Winters: Instead of numbers, how about rating one's level of spanking interest? There could also be a scale for rating the spanking itself. A one would be on the light end, while I really think we could easily go up to 100 with my way of thinking! Of course, my bottom may not agree...

Our Bottoms Burn: OK, we will be the odd ones and say, yes, a number would be most helpful. If their number included discipline, we would take a walk.

Pink: I'm not as interested in what someone's number is, but in how he would actually interact with me. D's number, before me, would have been almost strictly in the discipline area, having been a disciplinarian for years. That would have scared me off. His number with me though would land more in the sexy area. People's experiences and tastes change depending on who they're with. So their numbers are bound to fluctuate too.

Velvet: Beginning a new relationship is fraught with difficulties at the best of times. In principle, I like the idea of narrowing the field and speeding up the introductions by finding someone with a compatible number. In reality, I know there are no short cuts. For me, a relationship is about deep trust and that comes from a slow journey of discovery and not from waving my number five card in the air.

Prefectdt: I think a number might be useful, but we have to remember that they are just another sort of label. I am not against all labels. They are a useful guide, but they are just that, a helpful guide and cannot represent who a person is as a whole.

CurtisG: I don't know about numbers. I do know that I want sufficient knowledge of my partner to be assured that our interests and levels of play are similar.

Lea: I think it could help, but with any spanking partner, there's a much broader discussion to be had before playing.

Annapurna: I fully understand that at the beginning of any relationship, especially where more than spanking is anticipated, the most important aspect is mutual attraction and trust, followed by time. It may take quite a while for two people to develop mutual trust, admiration, and closeness. So it might very well be a good idea to begin any spanking play on the lighter, more fun side than to plunge immediately into more intense play.

Daisy: I think as an initial idea to see "what page" each person is on, it is a helpful guide and would be a good point to initiate discussion.

As we all know, the main thing in TTWD is GOOD COMMUNICATION!
When first meeting, it can be quite intimidating, so to have this little diagram would open up the dialogue in a fun way. There's no substitute for good old discussion though!

I would like to add that play is not something I am into. I had to be very sure that Davey was my partner for life before there was any chance of discussing personal feelings such as TTWD or sex. Neither of us would want to bring a third party into the picture.

Hobbes: It would be helpful since compatibility on this aspect of my private life is very important. The person would need to be some kind of a four since having fun is essential for me and I do find it highly erotic. To not have either would diminish my interest and enthusiasm to the point of not doing it.

It doesn't matter for me because I have been delightfully monogamous for forty years. I seek no one nor would anyone have me even if I were single. [Very interesting Venn diagram!]

Heather: I think it would help for newbies to spanking looking for new partners, etc. Spanking does mean different things to different people.

Bonnie: I guess I should have worded the question more carefully. I didn't intend to propose using the spanking number in lieu of normal conversation or raising it above a dozen other essential considerations. What I meant to ask was whether it had any value in simplifying discussions about spanking.

Thank you to everyone who shared their spanko number and/or their thoughts about its real world applicability.

No comments :

Post a Comment