When meeting someone new for possible play (or perhaps more), would it be helpful to know their spanko number?
I'd like to hear your opinion. Just document your thoughts in the form of a comment below. Once we're finished with brunch, I will post an edited summary of the proceedings.
19 comments :
If... and it is a big IF... Master allowed me to play with others, then yes I think it would be nice and even probably important to know exactly what they get out of spanking and other aspects of play, but I think I would want to know more than their number.
Nope, because when I trim up a chit the severity is based on her delinquency. Sure, I enjoy spanking a girl, but it is a punishment and I don't do it without good reason. If madam wants to avoid my right hand she can either take her hook or learn to do as she is told.
I don't play so in the (horrible thought) event that I didn't have the boy and had to date again it would absolutely help to know his number. The fact that I don't play and I'm one of those girls who now wants real disciplinary spankings as well as sexual spankings, I would be disappointed in someone who took it all too lightly.
Pun possibly intended...
Still on the numbers? Just keep the lower ones for me, please!
I'm not comfortable with thinking of someone in terms of a number. It seems too much like the pop psychology personality tests inflicted on groups of office workers. Once you're labelled as "green", "purple" or whatever, it influences how people see you and interact with you.
I am interested in all of the three types of spanking, although up till now I have only experienced sexy and fun ones. In the unlikely event that I would ever be in a position to interview a potential spanking partner, I'd like to discuss the matter him and find out his preferences. There are too many grey areas to rely solely on a single digit.
Works for me. While I fantasize about real spanking—that's what really gets me off—in real life if a guy spanked me, I'd rip his larynx out. However, it would turn me on if the guy was a real spanko and wanted to discipline me, but we agreed to limit our spankings to playtime. Just for that bit of realism. So yes, I'd like a number, just for communication purposes. Maybe a starting point for "The Conversation". But I don't think the number should limit you. It shouldn't be used in black and white terms. Or else you run into the problem that Hermione brought up. That labeling thing.
..Yes, to a point. I see the numbers as being fluid, you mat start off thinking 3 and end up thinking 1 thur 10!
abby
How about instead of numbers to rate your level of spanking interest, we go with a scale for rating the spanking itself? a 1 on the light end, while I really think we could easily go up to 100 with my way of thinking! Of course, my bottom may not agree....
Emily
OK, we will be the odd ones and say yes a number would be most helpful. If their number included discipline, we would take a walk.
I'm not as interested in what someone's number is, but in how he would actually interact with me. D's number, before me, would have been almost strictly in the discipline area, having been a disciplinarian for years. That would have scared me off. His number with me though would land more in the sexy area. People's experiences and tastes change depending on who they're with; so their numbers are bound to fluctuate, too.
Beginning a new relationship is fraught with difficulties at the best of times. In principle I like the idea of narrowing the field and speeding up the introductions by finding someone with a compatible number. In reality I know there are no short cuts. For me a relationship is about deep trust and that comes from a slow journey of discovery... not from waving my number 5 card in the air.
Velvet <3
I think a number might be useful but we have to remember that they are just another sort of label. Not that I am against labels, they are a useful guide but they are just that, a helpful guide and not who a person is as a whole.
Prefectdt
I don't know about numbers. I do know that I want sufficient knowledge of my partner to be assured that our interests and levels of play are similar.
I think it could help, but with any spanking partner there's a much broader discussion to be had before playing.
P.S. I HATE Captchas. I know my blog has them too but they start to drive me nuts, especially when I have to refresh for a different one 3 times because I can't read it. Lol.
Hi Bonnie,
I really appreciate all the responses made so far.
I can fully understand that at the beginning of any relationship, especially where more than spanking is anticipated, the most important aspect is mutual attraction and trust, followed by time. It may take quite a while for two people to develop mutual trust, admiration, and closeness. So it might very well be a good idea to begin any spanking play on the lighter, more fun side than to plunge immediately into more intense play.
I think as an initial idea to see "what page" each person is on, it is a helpful guide and would be a good point to initiate discussion, for as we all know, the main thing in ttwd is GOOD COMMUNICATION!!!
When meeting up at first, it can be quite intimidating, so to have this little diagram would open up the dialogue in a fun way. No substitute for good old discussion though!
I would like to add, this is not something I am into...("play") I had to be very sure Davey was my partner for life before there was any chance of discussing such personal feelings as ttwd, or sex. And we would neither of us want to bring a third party into the picture.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It would be helpful since compatibility on this aspect of my private life is very important. So . . . the person would need to be some kind of a four since having fun is essential for me and I do find it highly erotic. To not have either involved would diminish interest and enthusiasm to the point of not doing it. Won't matter since I am delightfully [for forty years] monogamous. So I seek no one nor would anyone have me even if I were single . . . .. [Very interesting Venn diagram!]
I think it would help as far as newbies to spanking go. Finding new partners, etc...would be helpful just because spanking does mean different things to different people.
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