Our topic of the week was changing spanking tastes over time. In particular, we wondered about activities that were once disliked, but are now a regular part of the repertoire. Here are your insights and experiences.
Adam: For me, it is the cane. I was terrified of the cane when I was younger. However, a recent re-introduction, albeit moderately, has given me a craving for more. I have been caned a few times recently and I hope it will be a regular occurrence.
Pink: Until recently, I would not often say the word "Sir" nor let anyone cane me or restrain me. All of those things, with my developing submission, have changed and I find myself doing them frequently.
There are other things, too, that are associated with the lighter side of BDSM. These include nipple clamps, spanking on other parts of the body (ahem), kneeling, and being "owned". I am no longer "just a spanko" with a Top, but a submissive in a romantic relationship with her Dom.
There are things I'm still hesitant to try, but I can feel myself softening to some of the ideas. I know that it is only a matter of time before I embrace them. I cannot pinpoint a specific event responsible for my increased exploration, but rather the deep level of trust I share with D has allowed me to explore without fear.
Abby: If Master had asked me to make a list of of "things I will not do" when we first started, it would have been a fairly long list. In the past year or so, many of the things I once considered solid no ways have happened. Most surprisingly to me are the piercings. I agree that it is all about trust.
Hermione: Looking way back, I'd have to say that as a child, I was terrified of the idea of having sex. Not that anything bad had happened to me to make me feel that way. It just seemed so awful. It wasn't until I grew up and actually experienced it that I realized there was nothing to be afraid of, and that it was really quite nice.
As for spanking, while the idea has always turned me on, actually getting one wasn't something I ever wanted until I grew up, and then the activity became a welcome part of our sexual relationship.
Texringer: About three years into spanking and blessed to be in a spanking marriage, I'm beginning to think about two things I've always shied away from. One is having my breasts spanked. The other is corner-time/scolding. It would be out of character for my hubby to do either, but I shouldn't predict. After all, he was a total vanilla when we got together.
Love4her: When I was about twenty two, I went out with a girl once. She was a little older, 26 or so. Things progressed quickly and that night we ended up in bed together. She wanted me to tie her to the bed with her bra and be a little rough. It was a simple request, as I look back on it. However, at the time, I was totally taken aback and wondered what someone had done to her to make her request such a thing. Funny, even then I had my own fetishes that I dared not tell anyone about.
Move ahead thirty years and I long for a lot of honest play like that and a whole lot more. If only I had married someone who was more sexually open, playful and into kink. It's my own fault as I could not be honest with myself about what I liked, much less share my desires with someone I loved for fear they would freak out and walk away.
Now she knows all my quirks and desires, but has no desire to play in that realm. It is pretty much left to fantasy and she is the one wondering “what did someone do to you to make you so weird, kinky and sexually perverted?”
Make Mine Red: When I was younger I was too embarrassed by the thought of spankings to ever bring it up. I was secretly turned on by the thought, but just couldn't say it. What finally made me blurt it out one day was a long lull in our sex life after many years of marriage. We had to put the spice back into things somehow. So I just said it. It took some convincing to get the hubby to agree to it, but now we are both so glad we gave it a try!
Michael: This may come as news to Season, but I would like to add restraint to our relationship as I feel that would further intensify her submission. This is just something that has evolved in me and also in our relationship as we have progressed as a couple.
Raven Red: As a child, I hated the leather belt, but as my spankings broaden, more implements are introduced. I am more and more lowering my defenses where the belt is concerned.
I don't know whether I will ever enjoy it. Most likely not, but I am sure, given time, I will develop the same love/hate relationship that I have with a cane.
Kady: As a child I had fantasies of being spanked. It wasn't until earlier this year that I asked JJ for it.
As for sex, in our early marriage, I just didn't enjoy it at all. Now I love everything about it and I can't get enough.
Michelle Carlyle: I didn't like sex that much until I met my husband. I didn't understand why people screwed. Then I met the Orgasm-inator. Wow. And while I had fantasies about spanking and stuff, I didn't try it until I got with him. Again. Wow. The more we did it, the more I liked it. Then we tried all kinds of implements and toys and had even more fun. But I think I enjoy sex more now because I'm not as hung up nor uptight as I used to be. It just gets better and better.
Anne: I would like L to introduce lecturing and corner time. but I am not pushing. He is so very vanilla that it is a slow journey. But where we have traveled so far has been great!
I have always been fascinated with spanking, but we have only recently introduced spanking into our relationship. It has spiced our lives very nicely. :-)
My Bottom Smarts: For years, I disliked the belt, and by association, most strap-like leather toys. I felt this way because they would wrap around my hips and create awful looking marks. Eventually, Randy learned how to prevent the wrapping and I learned to appreciate the burn of leather.
Thanks to one and all for joining in our community brunch. I hope to see you again next weekend!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
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1 comment :
Oops, missed it, sorry! OTK is it for me.... I have always refused to be spanked OTK... too humiliating... yet a few years ago, when we became engaged, Davey gave me a choice... He had my engagement ring, and before he gave it to me, I was to submit and go to him and voluntarily place myself OTK.
I SO wanted that ring!!!!!!!
There was this tremendous battle going on inside of me... like when the cartoon animals fight, and arms and legs flail everywhere... I tried all sorts of coercion, bargaining, excuses, to no avail. " When you want your ring, I'm here waiting " he said, calmly.
Walking across the room to him, I didn't have butterflies, I had dragons cavorting around my insides. I was illogically terrified, embarrassed, yet strangely turned on ...it was the weirdest feeling...
It was a momentous occasion for us both. I got my ring (and that's not all I got!) and every time I look at it, I am reminded of an awesome, wonderful, lifechanging moment....
Since then, I have gone otk when he has asked me, but it has never been my favourite position.
However, having been apart these past 2 years, I would love to be otk, feel his body close to mine as we shared in ttwd. (sigh...) What a reconnection spanking that would be.... xxx
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