Friday, April 10, 2009

Opening Day

My husband, Randy, is among other things a baseball fan. This time of the year always rekindles his passion for this traditional American pastime.

So where does that leave me, you might wonder? Actually, it leaves me in pretty good shape. "Baseball," as he explains it, "is closely related to spanking." I doubted this connection until he explained further.

  1. A careless pitcher can get "behind in the count."

  2. If a player doesn't perform well, they must spend time on the bench.

  3. The most famous baseball player ever was called the "Sultan of Swat."

  4. A well hit ball is said to be "blistered."

  5. Pitchers look forward to the "bottom of the order."

  6. Batters must watch out for that "high, hard one."

  7. It is often advisable to "hit behind the runner."

  8. A batter who spreads the ball around is called a "slap hitter."

  9. You don't want to be hit by a "brush back" pitch.

  10. A player who can bat from either side is known as a "switch hitter."

Do you see what he means? Baseball and spankings just go together!

Play ball!


Anonymous said...

Protip: don't use the bat for hitting anything besides baseballs.

A.S.S. said...

A ball is sometimes "spanked"... as is a badly beaten team. Have heard that phrase used more than a few times. Even heard "woodshed" used before (the manager is going to take him to the woodshed for losing track of how many outs there were).

And, of course... if you do really well... you might get a smack on the butt from a teammate (a good girl spanking?... lol).

Todd and Suzy

Daisychain said...

Completely out of the loop re: baseball, sorry! I understand football though...(soccer to those of you in the US!!) and I know that an avid fan watching on TV is apt to want to spank the **** out of anyone who walks in front of the TV just as the goal is scored, LOL xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hermione said...

Bonnie - Who knew? I have always loved references to the Sultan of Swat!

Coincidentally, I have a baseball-related post coming up soon too!


Dr. Ken said...

it should probably come as no surprise that I'm a big Minnesota Twins fan.
To add to the list--and I'll use last night's game as an example--how many times have we heard a sportscaster giving the scores and saying, "The Twins spanked the White Sox 12-5".....

Dr. Ken

Xan Spanking New said...

Not much of a baseball fan, but I've often wondered about football. After all, with positions on the team called tailback and tight end, somethings got to be going on :)

davetherave said...

Many sports could then 'relate' to spanking terms. Then again, if a player has a favorite bat, they always aim to use the "sweet spot" of the bat to get the best results. The batter tries to "slap" the ball down the line, while the pitcher tries to throw heat. Plus, a cook like to serve eggs "Sunny Side Up" - perfect metaphor for a bare of bare buns at the ready! LOL

Cheryl said...


I'm a baseball fan, too and have always loved it how it can get my spanking juices flowing. Many announcers actually use the word spank to describe a well-hit ball. Also, there used to be a move called "spanking the baby" that actually was another way to describe a hit and run play. You didn't want to hit the ball too hard (for fear of hitting into the dreaded double play) so it was usually a light swat, like one would give a small child, hence, spanking the baby. Personally, I love the part of a game where the camera pans the dugout and I get to see that big row of laps. Nice :)
Also, try to count up the number of smacks on the butt players receive during the course of a game. Nice, too :)


Dave said...

Hm....interesting indeed.

I must say, as an avid baseball (Go Sox!) fan myself, I had never thought of this connection. Until now. :)

Blog on,

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