Our topic of the week was identifying which elements of a spanking are the greatest turn-on. As I hoped, you provided a fascinating variety of responses.
Jean Marie: My lover says that it's my round bottom. He says he loves to caress, spank, kiss, lick, pinch, fondle, mutilate (within reason), and make love to me there.
I say it’s the anticipation. I love knowing that I’m gonna get it, being pulled across, having him bare me, having him tell me to pull my panties down for it, that circular rub all around my tush before the first swat, that line, "This hurts me more than it does you," or "Now you're in for it," or no talking at all, whatever... The moment before is so hyper-sensitive-tense-juicy-sweet-anxious-anxiety-filled, I just love it!
Kelly: For me it's the anticipation of having absolutely no control. I'm in charge and in control of just about every other aspect of my life. There is a genuine thrill to the idea that someone else has control over me, can tell me what to do, can tan my hide if I don't and I can't do a damn thing about it.
Spanked Italian Gal: It has to be when I stand before him waiting to go be spanked. The anticipation of the impending spanking is an unbelievable turn-on. A very close second favorite thing is when he pulls my panties down – I love that.
Marin: The biggest turn on for me is anticipation... I love knowing I'm definitely going to get spanked sometime tonight... and then hearing, "OK, bend over my knee..." in a stern voice.
Impish1: Getting my bottom smacked, of course, silly!
Anon #1: I'll have to get my partner to answer this one, but for me, it is seeing her ready for the spanking, bent over, wrists bound, blindfolded and gagged, with her ass up in the air waiting to be spanked.
Zille Defeu: This question is hard! I’ve had to limit it to just hand-spanking OTK to get an answer. When I think of being over my Master’s knee, the visual of his hand coming down over and over again against my bare bottom is immediately what I see. And I can almost feel the sensations, just thinking about it!
I love that space when you’ve warmed up into the swing of things (regardless of whether you were given a warm-up or not!) and the spanks come down again and again and it’s this timeless space where you just revel in the sensation of being spanked. For me, of course there’s pain, but it transmogrifies so quickly into pleasure (both because I just love being spanked, so my headspace is always “woohoo!”, and because I’ve gotten used to canings and other types of pain, so that hand-spanks have become something I associate with pleasure now. I’m sure the fact that I can come from being spanked on my sweet spot with just the right intensity has some bearing on this!).
So, I’ve been babbling, but basically my answer is, “that place in the middle of the spanking when it seems like it will go on forever – and you hope it does!”
Brambleberry Blush: For me, it's that sizzle that happens when he hits just the right spot! Oh, my, my...
Dr. Ken: Okay, I'll say it –everything! :-)
Seriously, I don't know if "turn-on" is the right descriptive phrase, but certainly what I like most is getting a reaction from the spankee. Maybe it's just a light moan, or a soft "ow," but some sort of verbal cue. Or maybe it's a slight body reaction such as a hand starting to reach back toward her bottom that then stops, knowing it's not allowed, a slight rolling from side-to-side, or the bottom slightly rising up to meet the next swat. Maybe it's something more energetic. Perhaps the legs kick ever so slightly, or maybe they come up to a 90 degree ankle in reaction to some harder ministrations.
It doesn't matter how small or great it is – a reaction is what I love to see...
Anon #2: Fear and sexual excitement are closely linked emotions. It makes sense that they would be cousins; after all, both of them are designed to ensure your genetic survival. I recall reading somewhere that sexual fetishes often have their root in subconscious fears. This describes my kinkiness to a T.
Possibly my greatest fear is of being controlled, manipulated, forced to do things that I don't want, humiliated, or led on a string by a smug and seemingly invincible tormentor. And yet, in the bedroom, this is exactly the sort of thing that turns me on. My attraction to spanking stems from my fear (and corresponding sexualization) of being abused. Being dangerously controlled and subordinated by an enemy is mortifying. Being playfully controlled and subordinated by a bedmate is exhilarating.
In short, what I like most about spanking is the (simulated) abuse, both physical and emotional.
I'm less sure about where my dominant impulses come from (I'm a complete switch: almost perfectly 50/50 on the dominant vs. submissive scale). I guess it’s probably because I'm a rather analytical person, and I like looking at things from different sides. Also, girls' butts are just one of the most beautiful parts of God's creation. I just HAVE to spank them.
Prefectdt: It has been a long, long time since I have had a sexually related spanking. But, wiping the cobwebs off of old memories, it is the psychological aspect of being, for a little while, the sole attention, effectively the center of the universe of someone that you genuinely care about. That feeling that the rest of the world has ceased to exist and that the entirety of creation is within the four walls where you are playing and that the two of you are the only people in existence.
Hermione: That's a difficult question. I wanted to say "everything" too! After a lot of thought, I guess my answer would be the question, turned around. Thinking about my spanking experiences is the biggest turn-on. "I'm going to be spanked," "I'm being spanked," "I was spanked." Those thoughts are what really turn me on, although the actual event runs a close second.
I invited Ron to join us for brunch this week and give a response too. His reply was that he really didn't understand the question. Spanking is what it is – beating an ass – and it doesn't have any individual parts. Maybe that's just another way of saying "everything."
Penfold: Yes, that’s a very hard question to answer indeed. I think, for me, it’s hearing Bear’s voice in its rather stern tones saying "get over my knee." But I see that little twinkle in his eye and it sets me all of a quiver… Then I love being either over his knee or on the bed while he spanks with whatever he has in mind at the time. When I feel my hips rising to the occasion, it turns me on even more...
*Quivers just thinking about it* Crap, come back to reality, Pen...
*coughs* Yes, something like that anyway...
I also feel that the spanking gets me so turned on because Bear loves me, It just wouldn’t feel right for me if he didn’t...
BigBear: This question feels both easy and hard to answer. It’s difficult as there are many different things about spanking which are a huge turn-on, but easy because most of them revolve around Penfold's beautiful bum!
I love the sight of her lying over my lap, her pretty peach jiggling on my knee, the naughty little giggles she gives when she wants it a bit harder, the feel of the skin under my hand as I stroke it, the line of her back sweeping down from her bottom to the small of her back then up to her neck and shoulders. Everything about this woman makes the whole experience truly enjoyable for us both, her looks, personality and naughtiness. ;) And I have to agree with “Anon #2” that the bottom of the woman you love is the most beautiful work of art ever made, especially when it's lying over your knee! ;)
Anon #3: For me, it is the fact that my MASTER and I can block out the world and play to our heart’s content. The anticipation of that first smack with my ass open and bare for my MASTER to do as he pleases gets me so hot.
Then the first smack makes my juices flow even more. I love how he smacks and punishes my ass and than stops for a little caressing before he thinks that I need and or want more, as if it was ever my choice. The heat and stinging goes directly between my legs and MASTER can tell how much I am liking it and it pleases him also. That, to me, the ultimate turn-on is pleasing my MASTER!
Irelynn: For me, it's all about power. The thing that turns me on most is someone taking the power to control things away from me. Only during a scene, that is!
I think that, whether it's through bondage, or you submit to it because it's the lesser of two evils, not having a choice about whether to take a spanking or how hard is what makes me all hot and bothered. But again, that's just during a scene when both parties have already agreed to a spanking. It's not so hot when you really don't want a spanking and someone makes you take one anyway.
Lee: I have to say it’s anytime my partner does something to let me know that "he's got me." This may include rubbing my bottom, placing a hand on my back, crooning softly in my ear... all while he's smacking me to kingdom come. Yum!
LDD-4-Me: Well, as a spanker, there are several components including the submission, the trust, the phase where there are tears and acceptance, but most importantly the aftercare.
As a spankee, I hate every part of the spanking until it's over. Then I love the soreness hours or hopefully days later that remind me of having been cared for.
Luna: What single thing? I think it's the sensation I get when my butt is hot and he drags his fingers across the flesh. Or the sensation I have when he whispers about how well I'm taking it, telling me how lusty I am, etc. It's practically everything but the actual spanking! :P
Tiggs: It all comes down to giving up control, totally and utterly, in a truly safe environment. I don't give up ANY degree of control easily or willingly in real life, and this is the only real situation in which I both can give up control and really, truly want to!
Anon #4: For me, it is getting Susan's bottom precisely as I require it. I issue a string of orders – “Skirt up please, knickers right down, over my left thigh please, bend tighter, head right down, spread your legs, and back hollow,” until her gorgeous globes are exactly how I like to spank them.
If I have decided to tie her, then I design her bonds so she is held immobile with her bottom perfectly presented. She loves this total helplessness as much as I enjoy spanking her plump globes. When I have her yelling for me to stop, she always gets a few more hard ones, because I know that for her spanking to achieve its aim, her bottom must smart more than she had bargained for. She says after her spanking that those final bum blasters, which made her yell and hump as they landed, stung like hell, but looking back they achieved the perfect spanking.
Betina: I definitely love the anticipation. I'm turned on from the moment I know I'm going to get a spanking, or just might get one. A close second is the feeling of letting go while just being in the moment, feeling my bottom heat up and the hot stinging feeling. But honestly, it's the sum of all the elements in a spanking, that ends up making spanking so great, if something was left out, it just wouldn't be the same.
Ronnie: For me, it's being told to get over his lap, his hand running over my bottom, and the waiting while knowing I am going to be spanked.
Becall: The biggest turn-on is when I am informed a day ahead that I'm going to get a caning and spanking and then just a few reminders throughout the day . That gives me plenty of time to think about it and get excited. When it is time, mentally, I am prepared for a very special session
The thing that is exciting about paddling someone is the ability to give that person what they need and want. To see them become aroused from receiving a spanking is a turn-on to me.
Bogey: For me, it’s the anticipation, either as the spanker or spankee. Either way, I love the prolog.
Soma: Hmm, boy, there are a lot of things to choose from! I agree with many that it’s the anticipation of all different parts, especially being pulled over the knee, panties pulled down, and the lecture. Those are the things that always stick out in my mind when I think about my spanking experiences. Overall, I love having the guy in control and the commands/acts that go along with it and knowing that he cares about me enough to discipline me when I need/deserve it. I really should call him up now that I'm thinking about all this ;)
Indy: I've loved reading everyone else's answers!
There's very little that's been mentioned before that I don't love. I'd have to add that I love that delicious, relaxed floaty feeling that comes from the endorphin high, along with the feeling of the pain mellowing to a rather pleasant warm sensation.
I love being outwitted or surprised by a top, too.
Loki_Darksong: When I'm topping, I enjoy watching and hearing each and every reaction that my spankings give. It's like playing a musical instrument. Using my soon to be wife as an example, there is nothing more sweet than seeing her jump just the right way, or make that just so right "ow" after a series of swats.
When I am bottoming, it's the aftermath that gets me. When I am spanked I like to know about it at least a few days later. I enjoy both the feeling and the memory of a real intense scene.
Miss Leya: I think the very first thing that popped into my head when I read the question is the most appropriate answer.
"His hands." The thought, further, was, "…and sometimes the tone of his voice."
I could go into more detail, but somehow this seemed better.
Bonnie: Since I am not supposed to say, “Everything,” we’ll quickly dispose of this possibility. A number of folks said it’s the anticipation, and that was my first thought. However, when I dig deeper into my motivations, the biggest turn-on is making the choice to submit.
Randy is larger and stronger than me. Legalities aside, he could force me to accept his will. But that’s not how it happens. I make a conscious decision to allow my world to be controlled, if just for a while. The real turn-on is giving the gift of willing submission and what Randy then does with it.
Thank you all for making this one of our best brunches yet! Have a great week.
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