Sunday, March 01, 2009

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Mar 1

Our topic this week was recommendations for a first implement purchase. Here are your thoughts.

Anon: For us, using toys that have a more well-known purpose helped ease my wife into spanking. Most grocery stores have wooden spoons, large rubber spatulas, and other household items that can be used for OTK fun. Go to Home Depot or any hardware store and buy a short length of weather stripping, it can provide a nice sting.

Rogue: Assuming they are well-versed in preventables like the hairbrush and the belt, I would recommend that their first purchase be a leather paddle with enough flex that is it a good in-between implement

Soma: I'd also recommend a leather paddle if you want to go for a new spanking implement. That was my first implement outside of the typical household items like hairbrushes and such. Plus, I wanted to experience leather, but didn't feel ready for the belt as it makes me really nervous. So a leather paddle seemed like a good start! I absolutely love mine! :)

Indy: I recommend the London Tanners’ 17 x 2 in spanking strop, in the Barbershop section of the LT website. Ian's toys don't come cheap, but if that's not a key consideration, their quality is superb. The strap I've recommended isn't too severe, and I loved it almost immediately. It's short enough to use OTK if you'd like, and it's wide enough that the blow is spread out, much more than it is for a wooden spoon – eek!

My only complaint about it is that I can't get my hand comfortably around the handle to use OTK or on a spankee who is lying on a bed. I have to use it with a tennis racket grip, with a spankee bent over a bed or similar. So if you're a female top or a man with smallish hands, you might want to go for the 1.5 inch model.

I think the leather paddle is a good suggestion too. I recently bought the Nanny Paddle from the LT, and it can be used sensually or quite stingily, depending on your preferences.

Whatever you buy, I hope you enjoy it!

Tiberius: As above, I favor a leather paddle. The reason is that it's easy to gauge the intensity. With something like a belt, there’s often no middle ground between too soft to feel and a big sting.

With a leather paddle, you can tap and gradually increase the intensity. Plus, there's nothing else that really sounds as good as leather on a bare ass.

Tiggs: I suggest something simple and versatile, such as a ping-pong paddle, short leather strap, or even a small leather paddle.

That way, they can both learn how the implement feels in their hands or on their bottoms and take time building up to full effect.

Plus, that keeps the FUN at the root of it all, so boredom or negative influences don't slip into the mix.

Hermione: From my own experience, I know that it's easy to move to implements that are perhaps more severe than someone new to spanking would be comfortable with. If this couple has already been experimenting with pervertables, then they've discovered how much a hairbrush can hurt. Riding crops can also inflict too much pain.

I think leather is the way to go, both because it's my own personal preference and because it isn't as harsh as wood. I would suggest a small leather paddle to start with. A slapper makes a lot of noise, which is always fun, but doesn't hurt much. They can later try something larger or thicker.

But that's my preference. The couple involved should also consider their own preferences, and what item resonates with them, or simply looks like something they want to try. A lot depends upon the force with which an implement is used, so if, say, a wooden paddle really appeals to them, then by all means they should go for it.

Abby: I'm going to have to jump on the leather paddle bandwagon too. I suggest something small for starters, nine inches long or so, no more than two inches wide, with enough give that it can be used for slapping (playfully or punishingly) as well as used more forcefully for sting and a growing red glow. Also, it should have finished edges. For some reason, many of the typical sex shop leather paddles are left with sharp, unfinished edges. Leather, under no circumstances, should be sharp!

As for what should be avoided? The cane! If both parties are new to it, the top should absolutely wait until his/her aim is perfect with other implements, and even then, he or she should practice on an inanimate object, like a throw pillow, to gain both accuracy and understanding of its use. I also agree with Hermione that riding crops can inflict too much pain. It's surprising but true. It's just my personal preference, but I wouldn't want to start with anything wooden, either. My body considers wooden implements to be for punishment only.

It’s great to see you again, Abby! We missed you.

Mina: As a first purchase, I would recommend a leather paddle. It should be something simple and capable of giving both gentle and harder spankings so you can get the feel of it and build up your experience.

I wouldn't recommend a cane, but that is just me. It is not something I would want to feel or use so early, but something to grow into to.

The thing is there are so many great pervertables that you can spend so much time just using them. Many can ensure a rosy bottom for any enthusiast.

Prefectdt: Taking the scenario in the question, I would recommend that they invest in a good quality, medium weight leather flogger. These can be difficult to use at first, but it will help the spanker develop delivery skills. Like all new things, it is best to start off lightly and work up to the spankee's limit. It is a shame that good floggers are expensive, but they are a good skill development toy with limited risks for the spankee.

I would also recommend that they get the book Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns. It is a little dated, but offers good, sound, practical advice without over-concentrating on the psychological side of things, as some reference books do.

Dr. Ken: I would send them straight to the London Tanners site. :-)

For a new couple, I'd definitely recommend something made of leather for their first implement (or implements). Jumping into something wooden, such as wood paddles or hairbrushes, might be a little harsh for newbies. A nice piece of leather – one that can be used OTK – should send them spankily on their way into the next phase of their exploration. Perhaps a nice ruler strap would do the trick...

I most certainly would NOT recommend that they get a cane. It takes a lot of practice to use one properly, and at this stage of their play, I think a cane would be a disaster...

Zille Defeu: A leather slipper (or rubber-soled light shoe) makes a really excellent spanking implement, and slippers can be left lying around without needing an awkward explanation!

The "My First Bondage" kits you can get in sex stores on-line and in many towns can be very good (or can be useless pieces of crap, so buying from people like Babes in Toyland or Good Vibrations is best recommended!)

Exploring with blindfolds and the like can be quite exciting for the newbie as well!

Michelle: There are so many perfectly acceptable pervertables that by the time a couple is ready to move on, they may not be novices any more. ;-p

For several years, my husband just used his hands and that was quite fun.

Then we moved on to wooden rulers (which I don't like very much as the one we have stings like the dickens and leaves welts), ping pong paddles (the one we have makes really good noises, loud and smacky, but didn't really provide much in the way of sensation (light and stingy, no matter how hard the wallop)), and belts (leather is better and be careful of how the edges are finished, they can leave welts).

The first implement I bought for my husband to use on me was a riding crop. I wanted something fairly discrete (it is easy to tuck out of sight), that had the potential to be both stingy and thuddy, and wasn't terribly expensive.

I found one that was less than $10 from Amazon. I got one of the ones for horses because, honestly, I couldn't see paying twice as much for the same thing because it was something for "spanking enthusiasts."

Since spanking for us is primarily about the sensation and secondarily about the submission, I opt for implements that can give a variety of sensations. The flogger that we just got is really nice. It can be soft and caressing, almost tickling, stinging, or thuddy, depending upon how it's used.

If the couple enjoys other aspects (the visual, discipline, role play) or other sensations (really stingy, thuddy, loud, etc.), other implements work better. Find the implement that gets you excited and go with it.

I encourage them to look around. There are lots of places, especially on-line, where you can find decent implements that don't cost all that much.

Loki Darksong: I'll add a vote for paddles as a first true spanking toy purchase. Leather is preferred if you can afford a good one. Avoid those with a bar running through the middle of it or the like. London Tanners has some good ones, but do shop around. There is a site, Nancy's Basement, that has a few good leather paddles for about $10.

Now if you want to try wood, I suggest a paddle of thin to medium thickness and without holes. There is no need to leave bruises if you don't have to.

Oh, and for the book choices, The Compleat Spanker by Lady Green and, if you can find this one, The Essential Guide to the Practice of Corporal Punishment (or How Do I Get my Partner Interested in Spanking) by Lucy Bailey should be on the shopping list.

Welcome, Loki! I’m delighted you joined us for brunch and shared your wisdom. The Lucy Bailey book unfortunately appears to be out of print, but if anyone knows where it can be found, I will post that information.

Todd and Suzy: Our first spanking only implement was a wood paddle. There were several reasons why we picked it. We had nothing else like it in our pervertable collection. Wood paddles had been the thing that most meant 'a spanking' to us while growing up (school paddles, at home, etc.) and we wanted something for real discipline spankings.

If this couple were similar to us, they'd get a wood paddle. But if they were more into playful spankings, I might recommend a leather paddle. For erotic play, maybe a flogger. Or maybe something like a cane would work for them (especially if they were British).

So, it really does depend. We'd say talk it out, and, really, don't be afraid to try things out. After the first, will come a second and third... and so on. So if something doesn't really work as was hoped, it’s no biggie.

Ronnie: Not knowing what they have actually used, I would suggest the leather paddle. Look for one that is supple and flexible, but not too big.

Or they might consider a nice, small leather flogger. It can give so much pleasure in different ways depending upon how it’s used.

Dante d'Amore: How 'bout a 2x4? It would make sure future discipline problems were rare plus make anything else you ever used seem heavenly in comparison.

Dante, I think they were looking for something a bit more, uh, general purpose.

Iggy: I'm going to vote for a nice soft suede flogger because they are so yummy. You can even get the ones that are actually intended for breasts. They are shorter and smaller and therefore easier to use for an OTK type of scene since they don't need as much swinging room.

Bluquill: This was my question only a year ago! Three toys appear regularly today: the Boudoir paddle from London Tanners, a maple OTK paddle from Walt's, and the Beaver Tail leather paddle from Leather Thorn. Though they are both leather, the Boudoir and Beaver Tail paddles have quite different feels. The Boudoir is thinner, softer, and more flexible and therefore stingier. The Beaver Tail is thicker and stiffer and therefore thuddier. And, of course, the wood is another thing! All are easy to handle (or so I'm told!). I wouldn't want to give up any of them, and we've both enjoyed exploring the different sensations in different positions and scenarios!

Welcome, Bluquill, and thanks for sharing your suggestions!

Anon #2: I'm new to spanking, so my take on this topic might be different than others, but I would love to experience a wooden hairbrush. Something about the old-fashioned, more discipline aspects really appeal to me. My partner and I only do spanking for fun, not real discipline. But playing around with "punishment" for silly things is something we've enjoyed. So the hairbrush seems like a good one to try.

Daisy: I love the riding crop. As it only strikes with the tip, which flicks the skin, there is minimal noise, and only a tiny area of skin is stung each time, giving plenty of scope to cover the whole bottom! Also, there is something incredibly sexy about the crop...

Bonnie: Choosing a new implement is sort of like choosing a favorite position. There isn't really one that's best in all cases. I suggest improvisation and testing. In this instance, the scientific method can be a whole lot of fun. Quite naturally, some toys will be found to work better than others. In time, couples tend to discover some favorites implements and perhaps a few that might as well be pitched.

As others have mentioned, there are lots of pervertable implements available inexpensively in kitchen, bath, or craft stores. Think spanking, let your imagination go, and walk down the aisles. I suspect lots of good ideas will emerge.

It's also fun to have a spanking implement that was created for that purpose alone and is good for nothing else. I think owning such a toy makes one feel more like a dedicated spanking enthusiast. To start, I might suggest a leather paddle, such as those offered by Adam and Gillian. We've purchased a number of excellent spanking toys from them over the years.

Thank you, one and all, for your great suggestions!

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