Sunday, January 25, 2009

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Jan 25

Our topic this week was laughter and spankings. It appears that we have plenty of both.

Iggy: To be honest, I don't think I've ever had a spanking that didn't have some laughter at some point. For me, spanking is mainly about fun and feeling good and laughter goes hand-in-hand with that. For me, it makes the whole spanking experience more positive. I also walk away feeling good about me (even as I rub my bottom).

Prefectdt: If you play with multiple partners in the F/m world, having a bit of a laugh is not only good, but sometimes an essential tool.

A guy can often find himself playing with a woman who is younger/shorter/physically weaker than himself (or a combination of all three), and one who does not know him very well. In such situations, a bit of jokey banter and a giggle reassure the woman that she is not playing with the type of guy who might turn nasty on her.

When playing with a less experienced lady, the odd mis-hit is inevitable. The ability to point out that a mistake has been made, in a friendly, funny type of way, is useful to prevent repeat mistakes, without leaving the female concerned and feeling that she has been "put down" in any way.

Sometimes, it is nice just to have a jokey, friendly type of spanking and bratting is so much fun.

Tina: When I was still only dreaming about playing, it always felt very serious. I didn’t think it could ever be erotic, when there was fun or laughing involved. Now that I have been playing for quite some time, I still need the serious bit. I need this feeling that there is no escape. However, we do laugh a lot. The fun mixes into the hard playing, and does not destroy anything.

Our Bottoms Burn: We spank because it is sexually arousing for us. So yes, often there is laughter sometime during play. Usually it's when Becall decides to get sassy. Her one-liners are classics.

In role play, we have sometimes stopped, had a good laugh and then tried to get back in role. It's all good.

Hermione: At this time of year, when Ron caresses my bare bottom, his hands are always icy cold, and I laugh and tell him to do something to warm them up. He laughs too and pretty soon his hands and my bottom are very warm indeed.

After a spanking, I usually say something appreciative and Ron will laugh and respond with something silly that has us both giggling.

During a spanking, however, I give my mind over to the pain and pleasure of the sensations and try to block out any other thoughts. Laughter from either of us would be an interruption that would break the spell.

Jay: I did once laugh when D was trying to spank me. I don't think it did much for his ego.

The problem is that I tend to laugh or grin when I’m scared, nervous, in pain, or embarrassed. It’s really annoying and the phrase, "so you think this is funny" is so boring.

Anyway, D got angry and swatted me harder. That was bad because he was a rotten shot and he kept hitting my back.

Laughter may be the cure for all ills, but it's no good when mixed with a spanking.

Curtis G: When you're into spanking for play, fun, sensuality and sometimes sexuality (always lurking underneath), you're likely to laugh often. Sometimes it’s because you're teasing or being teased, but often it’s just because the conversation goes that way. I've even had semi-serious political conversations while spanking someone. Sometimes when you or she is getting very aroused, there's banter up to the point of high intensity when you give yourselves to the sexual moment.

Big Bear: Well, I don’t think we laugh during spanking, but we do have a good laugh after the hugs and kisses. But during one interesting encounter, we were lying in bed with me (Big Bear) lying on top of Penfold, both fully clothed with the covers up, just having a lark about. As I lay there on top of her, I was making her laugh with my antics and she later told me that this was the best, biggest and longest laugh that she has ever had. Damn. I love this woman! :D I really hope we can do that again soon as I really truly love seeing her that happy.

Thoughtful Spanker: I love to laugh. Very often, as a matter of fact, laughter is my number two stress reducer (can you guess what rates number one?). So I try to do it often.

Laughter occurs before, during, and after spankings. Sometimes, it's caused by the Little One’s attempt at anguished pleading or a particularly cute wiggle or her description of the feel of a new implement.

Very few things in life should exclude laughter.

Loyal Lurker: Just this morning, my loving man decided to spank me while I was lying on the bed. It was just a couple of swats for fun. He was happily swatting away with one of his favorite toys, but ended up swatting more of the covers than me. I looked over my shoulder laughing and asked, "Exactly what is that?" If you can't laugh and have fun in your life, then is it really worth it?

Red: Yes, we do laugh. It's usually triggered by some questions like:

"Are you laughing at me? Do you think this is a joke? Do I have to spank you harder?"

My answer, of course, is "Yes" and a few good laughs.

Matt: I am a n00b, but laughing has occurred twice for us. Both times were in "play" spankings rather than the punishment kind which are quite business-like. The first I described here.

The second time, though, she was sitting on the bench at the end of our bed and had just pulled my jammies down. She was "scolding" me, but also being very touchy-feely around the boy parts. The aforementioned boy parts were quite excited at the time and became very sensitive. It was all I could do to keep from busting out laughing.

Finally, I couldn't take it any longer and neither could she and we both start laughing. My wife is still trying to get into play spankings. She looks at me, laughing, with an exasperated look on her face and says, "Would you stop laughing? I'm working my a-- off here!" Which, of course, resulted in a great deal more laughing.

Daisy: I just posted about a fun spanking where we were both giggling away, so no point explaining it again here. If anyone is interested, they can go read it on my blog!

But, yes, I think humour is important in a relationship. There are certainly some spankings which are enhanced by laughing.

Discipline/punishment spankings are most definitely excluded. Considering the mindset you are in for those, it is not possible, let alone appropriate, to laugh.

However, when he has tried to do the stern disciplinarian act, when he was being "mock-cross," I giggled so much that I was a sitting target, so to speak! I didn’t have the strength to resist him at all, and he got me good!

Davey: I have to agree with Daisy. There are some situations where laughter will only ensure that the spanking gets harder. However, there are many times when it is great fun and a good laugh helps the closeness between partners. Daisy has seen the problem with laughter or sarcasm at the wrong times. LOL

We have also laughed ourselves silly on more than one occasion.

Zille Defeu: I can't think of any specific examples, but my Master and I will laugh as the situation calls for – when one of us does something silly or clumsy during a scene, or one of those moments where you just realize that what you are up to is just utterly ridiculous and you have to stop and laugh at yourselves – before going right back to it! When I'm feeling brave and naughty, I will tickle him, which leads to much laughter and generally to me getting spanked (so, it’s a win-win situation!)

Cowgirl: We laugh during playful spankings all the time! It's more fun that way :)

Sara: That’s a perfect question for today, Bonnie! I answered on my own blog, Finding Sara. Thanks for your brunch, as always!

Dr. Ken: Oh my goodness, yes. It's usually the result of something I said, or something she said. Every now and then, the funny comments flow freely and there is laughter on both sides for a while. Occasionally, a comment from her will directly result in a verbal response and a palm-to-bottom response.

I always say that "spanking should be fun – even when it's serious." So laughter is not uncommon. Nor is it out of place.

Luna: Laughing for me is a response to endorphin overload. I tend to start laughing when the pain turns to good pain.

While playing, and spanking in particular, is quite fun, Master takes a serious tone when we play so I don't think I'd ever see him laugh when spanking me. A grin though, evil or not, is always on his face.

Although, Master does like to startle me and tickle me a bit when we play sometimes. I think he likes to keep me off balance.

Janeen: I remember we were trying out a new flogger once. Will obviously misjudged the length and grazed his lower shoulder while bringing his arm back. He laughed, and when I finally figured out what he'd done, I laughed with him. I don't even remember if it was a serious or play spanking, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

We are so comfortable with each other that basically anything goes around here.

Indy: I love playful banter, so most of my spankings have been accompanied by laughter at some point or another. I also take delight in having been fooled by the spanker in some clever way, large or small, and I'm likely to show my appreciation through laughter.

I have played with a couple people for whom that is a headspace-killer and have enjoyed more serious scenes, too – mostly roleplays.

I've heard some say that joking around is an impediment to closeness. I don't agree. I think that's a matter of personal style. While smart aleck responses can have a touch of defensiveness, a lot of folks, myself included, use shared laughter to build closeness, not to push it away.

Maryann: We used to laugh a lot when we were together and laughter was a normal part of our spanking play. Most of our spankings were happy ones.

A Spanker: The sessions I have enjoyed most have involved a healthy amount of laughter. The women I like to play with seem to love to be brats and I love to tease while I swat away. The way I see it, spanking is supposed to be fun.

Impish1: We laugh every time. All our spankings are play and we laugh and tease through them. He's mock stern or just plain teasing, and, of course, I can't just take it without the tease back. I might like a bit more seriously stern play sometimes, but it's not in his nature and I'm happy for what I get.

We laugh every time. All our spankings are play and we laugh and tease through them. He's mock stern or just plain teasing, and, of course, I can't just take it without the tease back. I might like a bit more seriously stern play sometimes, but it's not in his nature and I'm happy for what I get.

K: While the spanking is in progress, I'm much more likely to purr than laugh, but sometimes we laugh. We laugh much more before or at the start of the spanking. It's part of the fun. :)

Michelle: We regularly laugh and giggle during our sessions.

Take this morning for example. We'd enjoyed a leisurely morning in bed as our kid had stayed over at her grandparents and we're finally getting moving when he caught me leaning over to get something out of one of my dresser drawers and popped my tush several times with a sock (the way guys pop each other with towels).

It stung nicely but it was a **sock**, so we couldn't help but giggle.

I think laughter is an important part of any relationship, even a spanking one. It helps you relate to each other better.

Bonnie: I have documented many occasions where Randy and I have giggled, laughed, and occasionally rolled over some silly business that happened during or proximate to a bottom warming session. The possibilities are endless. The whole faux gruff disciplinarian voice is enough to do it for me. So is any broken implement under any circumstances, but especially if it was broken while being used on me. Then there’s the whole roleplay gone somehow horribly off-course and headed for the weeds routine.

Yes, we laugh all the time and we love it almost as much as the spanking itself.

Thanks to everyone who laughed with us today. I hope you'll join us for next week's Sunday spanko brunch!


Anonymous said...

I was out of town & missed this brunch, but would like to add a few thoughts. e e cummings said that "The most wasted of all days is the one without laughter." My boyfriend says that I "need at least a spanking a day to keep us both sane." The two trains of thought collide often in our household. In fact, if I know that I'm in for a particularly strict lesson, I'll slip on some silly undies, like the pair with a big yellow smiley face on the seat, so as to lighten the mood. It doesn't lessen the severity; Kyle just giggles as his hand makes my bum jiggle.
Jean Marie

Zille Defeu said...

Bonnie -- How funny, my local dungeon just posted this class:

Sat Jan 31- The Joys of BDSM Finding the Light in the Darkness
Start Time: 2:00 PM

Saturday January 31st 2:00pm till 5:00 pm $25.00 Many are attracted to BDSM because of its perceived darkness. Dungeons and whips and slaves OH MY! We've all enjoyed exploring the things that go bump in the night and anticipation and fear are HOT. Moans, whimpers, screams and tears are things of both a sadist's and masochist's dreams. But what happens when your slave starts to giggle uncontrollably while being single tailed? Or as a slave you've discovered your next "serious" scene with your Master involves puppets and fairytales? What will Y/you both discover on the other side of the journey when you have ventured into the dark abyss of play? Hopefully, ...Joy.
Spend some time with Kathleen as she talks about how laughter and joy can be part of your S/m journey without sacrificing any of the sadistic fun. Speaking frankly about her own life and journey, Kathleen will share how experiencing S/m in some of the most absurd ways transformed her life. Kathleen will share her own philosophies about how the silly, the sadistic and the sacred can break through walls, create a deeper bond between Dominant and submissive and transcend ordinary play into life altering healing. The discussion will also include the following: .How to handle laughter and giggles during the scene otherwise known as "I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you".
•What types of props, toys, music will help your own silly sadistic scene.
•Breaking through the other side - discovering the light in the darkness.

How timely, huh? :)

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