Friday, March 21, 2008

MBS Labs: Better Spankings Through Science


Last fall, I provided a brief peek behind the scenes at our secret MBS spanko research installation. Today, it's my privilege to offer you an update. Please note that these products are still in the experimental stage and are not yet ready for market. Nonetheless, our experts believe they have the potential to revolutionize the way we redden bottoms.

Removable Rear Seat Warmer: Full-sized minivans have long featured removable rear seats. This is a great convenience for drivers who must transport both passengers and cargo. The new MBS after-market model, once removed, folds into an adjustable spanking bench. The integrated passive restraint system converts effortlessly into an active restraint system. Whether deep in a rain forest or alongside the highway, this convertible bench provides the ideal locale for settling matters with that ill-tempered soccer mom.

Shock-o-Matic: Spankologists have long understood that it's possible to simulate the impact of a well placed swat by applying a short duration, high voltage electric charge to the buttocks. The revolutionary Shock-o-Matic takes this concept one step farther. Through the miracle of miniaturization, MBS Labs has managed to integrate a custom charge delivery system into a normal pair of women's panties. A radio frequency remote control unit allows simulated spanks to be administered from up to thirty feet away. We believe this product will alter forever the concept of a public spanking.

Drop-Seat Ski Pants: With the surge in popularity of cross-country skiing, many spanking enthusiasts are now visiting their favorite trails during all four seasons. In the past, an outdoor spanking in winter was a logistical nightmare. Removing multiple layers of clothing was time consuming, and certainly not very romantic. With our new drop-seat ski pants, however, gaining full posterior access is quite literally a snap.

Classic Paddle Sealant: There's just something special about a vintage wooden spanking paddle. It's a great feeling to know that you are but the latest to feel the solid impact of a well seasoned paddle. Whether from the classroom or the sorority house, these antique punishment paddles are genuine treasures. Unfortunately, over time and with use, their structural integrity can deteriorate. This can tragically lead to loss of effectiveness and ultimately, catastrophic failure. Thanks to the researchers at MBS Labs, there is now a synthetic sealant compound designed to renew and preserve these stinging keepsakes for future generations of spanking enthusiasts.

Yes, my friends, the future of spanking is very bright indeed. Bright red, that is...

8 comments :

Dr. Ken said...

Bonnie--
I like the illustration for this post. Nothing like an impressive set of globes..... :-)

Dr. Ken

Hermione said...

ROFL - those are great!

I like the idea of the shock-o-matic. Great for self-spankers too.

And I think I will get out the manual for our new car and investigate some of the 'added back-seat features' that my husband special-ordered.

Hugs,
Hermione

Paul said...

Bonnie, that's progress, innovations everywhere I look.
In a couple of generations the classic hands on spanking will be a thing of the past and we'll be the poorer for it. Grins!!!
Warm hugs,
Paul.

Indiana said...

Absolutely hilarious, Bonnie. The delightful turns of phrase are every bit as good as the products advertised.

Kelley said...

Bonnie

Can you have MBS labs add a internet based controls to the Shock-o-Matic powered Spank-a-Matic panties?

It would help out us LDS's (Long Distance Spankers). It would be nice to come back to my tin can (room) in Iraq and observe Kelley's girl being spanked at my command using the ICSOM (Internet Controlled Spank-a-Matic) panties
via her web cam.

Thanks for your support.

Kelley
Some where in Iraq

Serpent's Embrace said...

Bonnie,

Thank you for the humor. I need it.

Marcus

Anonymous said...

Could MBS Labs come up with a spankometer ? I never really know what effect my hard work is having on Susan's bounteous bottom;sometimes she lies there in stoic silenece, othertimes she wriggles and yells, like crazy. A few sensors attached to the target area to measure muscle tension and heat, plus a centeral probe to asses the deeper effect, all linked to a specially programmed computer, would give the answer. A new unit of measurement would be needed; what about a "Stingo", ranging from 1 for a mild pat to 100 for a real butt buster.The computer would show the number of 'Stingos' for each spank, and the total number the bottom had taken during the spanking, that way Suan could be told at the start how many 'Stingos' she was in for.David.

Bonnie said...

Dr. Ken - ...And they're futuristic looking globes too.

Hermione - Thanks. The only problem I see with the Shock-o-Matic is the possibility of a lost remote. Ours seem to sprout legs and wander away. That dilemma gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "all dressed up and no place to go."

Paul - Perhaps it's not too late to found the traditional spanking society, dedicated to the proposition that warm hearts begin with warm bottoms.

Indiana - Thanks!

Kelley - My husband Randy, who is a genuine computer geek, loved this suggestion. He went on for a half hour about all of the amazing possibilities of internet-addressable panties.

He wants to send a packet storm to my bottom

He wants to use the finger command

He wants to print spanko designs on my skin

He wants to download the current skin temperature

It just continues on and on... There might have to be a separate post about the geekiest panties ever.

Marcus - You're very welcome!

David - Check this out!

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