Monday, March 10, 2008

Keyword Chaos Resumed

A helpful reader recently reminded me that I've allowed another month to slip by since the last Keyword Chaos post.

Listed below are search phrases that people have used used to find this blog. When the time arrives for Keyword Chaos, I start with a list of thousands of keywords. They cover the range from mundane and expected to improbable and inexplicable. I then select several of the more entertaining word sequences. Never one to leave well enough alone, I can't resist adding my own interpretation. I always like digging up this silliness. I hope you will enjoy it as well.
  • loopy carpet beater - It's bad form to beat rugs (or anything else) while intoxicated

  • psycology of adult spankings - Study it? You can't even spell it!

  • fresh spankings - These switches were just harvested this morning

  • padded bottom girls - Nature provides

  • preparation for a spanking on panties - Let's see... Spanker, check. Spankee, check. Paddle, check. Panties in place, check. Houston, we are go for OTK.

  • enema sorority - Is it time for dues again?

  • link to me, I'm your master - I command you to use Courier font, you geeky wench!

  • lowered my panties restaurant - Sheesh, this is getting to be worse than the airport

  • sorority hell weekend - Starbucks was closed for remodeling

  • spank her adorable - Spank me tender, Spank me true...

  • 0 reasons to spank your lover - Zero? If you can't even think of a single reason, you might as well just skip the whole thing

  • a fine plump bottom freshly spanked - Let me guess... You've been to the farm market?

  • adult spankers open invitation - Come one, come all to the 2008 spankothon!

  • angora sweater stories - You might want to just click the back button and forget you ever saw this blog

  • apple inserted into pussy - Two letters: PK

  • bare bottom rent room - I'm sorry but our rules are very specific. All guests must wear clothing in the lobby.

  • bare bottom spanking by husbands pictures - Oh no, honey, please not the portrait!

  • bloomers spanking grabbed cheerleaders bottom - I don't know any cheerleaders who wear bloomers

  • bra buster erotic stories - Sorry, you'll find no big boob stories around here

  • bubble butt jungle blog - Me Tarzan, You Bootylicious

  • dared to wear butt plug - Aw, you haven't got the sphincter!

  • dorm spanking horse - When I went to college, coed dorms were considered forward thinking

  • fantasy bottom spanking - "It's de CANE, boss, de CANE!"

  • female masochim - Isn't that sort of like a bonobo?

  • female wanted for spanking - I think I saw that poster at the post office

  • fingertips waistband spank - If you're spanking anywhere near the waistband, please stop. Keep those swats on the nice round, fleshy parts!

  • girlfriends spanked - You had better hope that your girlfriends don't find out about one another or you might be the one who is hurting!

  • have you ever spanked your wife? - Never

  • homemade enemma - It goes well with the homebrewed spelling

  • how a hairbrush spanking feels - It makes one's bottom burn and hurt and throb and sting and ache, but only in the most delightful way

  • how to make a punishment cane out of a tree limb switch - Canes aren't that expensive. Just buy one.

  • panties with sayings - A switch in time saves nine? All's fair in love and spankings?

  • spank bottom paddle crack - No fair, we just bought that thing

  • spank-o-tron - Let's picture Rosie the robotic maid from the Jetsons holding a carpet beater

  • spanked for wearing thongs - As a matter of fact, that's long been a favorite signal for Randy and me

  • spanking ping pong paddle bare bottom knee panties - I don't think there's a verb in there

  • spanking your wife is it good? - If you both enjoy it, it's absolutely sensational

  • ugly panty pics - This pair rides up more often than Tonto

  • becky thatcher spanked - Nope. She definitely deserved one though

  • big tig patrol - Is that anything like a snipe hunt?

  • bubblebutt spanking - No, I have no idea whether Kim Kardashian is a spanko

  • home made wife spanking - If you've already got the Bride of Frankenstein tied up down there in dungeon, why not?

  • non verbal safewords - If it's non-verbal, it can't be a safeword. Right?

  • red bottom free spankings - All of my spankings are free

  • spanking silk panties - It's a lot more fun if you fill those panties first

  • strap-on spanking story - You have to turn your hips really quickly

  • what is the purpose of an adult bare-bottom spanking - I can give you a dozen worthy purposes. Just keep reading...

  • I can't open my tight pantygirdle in the badroom - Well then, you'll want to be sure to try a second time in a slightly above average room


Terpsichore said...

these always bring a smile to my day :-)

Paul said...

Bonnie, thanks dear girl, "Keyword Chaos", always good for a chuckle.
Warm hugs,

Michael said...

LOL Thanks for making me laugh, Bonnie. My two favorites are your Elvis and Tarzan impersonations. LOL


heartsandpaddles said...

I loved this!! You are just to funny. Thanks for making us laugh...
Happy days!

Anonymous said...

I liked "sorority hell week" and the Fantasy Island parody. But courier font!? Really, now! :-)


Hermione said...

Courier font? Eeew. There are some things I just refuse to do!


Abby W. said...

Seriously! Garamond! Come on! *kidding*

A while back, just after I installed a stat counter, I posted about someone finding my blog through the keyword search "longest equation ever." The weird part? Someone keeps finding my site through that same phrase! It's the funniest thing to me, considering my hatred of math.

Funny other thing: "apple inserted into pussy" actually reminds me of one of my first experiences with being aroused by literature as an early teen. It was Bukowski's "like a flower in the rain." It references apples and a beautiful bottom and, um, some other stuff.

Love these lists, as always!


Bonnie said...

Terpsichore - I'm glad you enjoyed it. We always get some laughs as well.

Paul - Thanks. Randy played a big role in this edition. Should you detect a male sense of humor anywhere in this post, it's his.

Michael - Thank you!

Hearts and Paddles - You're very welcome.

Indiana - The sorority hell week was my favorite. Can't you just picture a house full of young women on Saturday morning and no coffee available?

Hermione - How better to torture a geek?

Abby - I have several seemingly non-nonsensical search phrases that appear time after time. A lot of them are along the lines of "huge whopping round bubble butt booty." I'll admit I do possess the proverbial big back forty. But for those interested exclusively in such things, I have to believe there are sites that speak to it directly. As I often say, the world is filled with mysteries we may never fully comprehend.

Amy said...

LOVE the snipe hunt!! This site has been so great for my have no idea.

Bonnie said...

Amy: Hi, and welcome!

It's true. I have no idea, but if you would ever like to share your experiences with MBS readers, I'd be delighted to let your voice be heard.

In any case, thanks for the comment!

Dragon & Tiger said...

OMG those are hillarious but not as hysterical as your add ons afterward! Too funny.


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