Sunday, March 25, 2007

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Mar 25

This week, our brunch topic was maintenance spankings. Here are your thoughts.

Viv: Yes, my partner and I definitely engage in maintenance spankings, and they make a world of difference in our relationship.

They are, however, always disciplinary in the sense that if my partner senses that I need a maintenance session, it's because, as he puts it, I've stepped just a bit over the line in little ways a few times and that signals him that attention is needed before it gets worse.

We also frequently spend long intervals of time apart, and have found that it's easier to reconnect and to say goodbye if a maintenance spanking is given immediately upon being together again and the night before we separate.

Minxy: Yup, I get a maintenance spanking every weekend and it's stepped up into weekdays if I push my luck (which is fairly often!)

I find it quite therapeutic that maintenance spankings are so regular and never too far away. It's a re-focus point for us both. We strive to keep to schedule, whatever else is going on in life

Tiggr d'Amore: Well, I think Dante and I would both call all of our spanking sessions "recreational," regardless of the intensity, duration, implements, degree of soreness afterwards.

But I do tend to get spanked or ask for spankings when I really need them. Dante is very attuned to my needs. But we don't do anything routine... Ever.

I used to resent that, but no more. In fact, he's ended up being right about every aspect of the D/s, DD, spanking, and everything related to them. We've both benefited from his intuitive accuracy and perception!

Pagan: Hmm...I'm not sure that you could call them 'maintenance' spankings, since we don't do DD.

However, I've grown accustomed to getting spanked fairly frequently (a couple of times a week on average). If I reach a week, I'm more than keen. If, for some reason, we aren't able to indulge for a longer period (perhaps 10-12 days), then I'm climbing walls. My jaw will be cracking by then from grinding my teeth at night. LOL

I become more stressed and irritable when I'm deprived of my favourite vice.

For some, a maintenance spanking serves as a tangible reminder of a DD or D/s relationship, even though there may be no behaviour to correct.

Our dynamic is different, but being spanked (at least) weekly serves as a great stress release, and leaves me once again sated and at peace.

Is that maintenance? I don't know, but the Beast must be fed regularly, or it gets ornery. ;)

Paul: I so wish Mel was around to answer some of these questions.

We didn't have labels for our discipline sessions. Once Mel finished at university, the formal punishment sessions fell off quite a lot. Yet we both noticed that Mel got very edgy if she didn't have at least one intense spanking a week. I tried to have this happen on the weekend. We both thought of it as her centering spanking.

On the rare occasions when she received a formal punishment, which were always intense, she didn't need to be centered. I suppose that centering could be called maintenance spanking.

Susan: I think that I'd certainly consider, and benefit from maintenance spankings. I know that when my partner dominates me, I feel much more secure not only in my relationship, but in life. It's something about control, and having it taken from me both consensually and not. So, in other words, yes, it is something I'd consider, and something I'd probably benefit from.

Bonnie: For Randy and me, the situation is much as Pagan describes. We don’t do discipline, or anything close. It’s simply not an element of our relationship. Yet, we find that that our lives are better in all ways if vigorous spankings are administered fairly regularly. We don’t have a formal schedule. It’s more like a standing date.

A true maintenance spanking, for us, generally lacks the playfulness we enjoy at other times. We both understand the purpose, which is to relieve stress and sharpen focus. These spankings also serve to reconfirm and strengthen the bond between us.

In most cases, before the spanking is concluded, it will have morphed into an erotic celebration, ultimately ending in spirited lovemaking. Afterward, we lie together and communicate with an easy openness seldom achieved through any other means.

Carye: No, I don't receive them. But I think I'd like to. I think knowing that I had a spanking coming would keep me on a more even keel. I tend to have lots of ups and downs and maybe a broader range of emotions than some. I think maintenance spankings would keep me up more often :-)

G: We call these "attitude adjustments." M received one today. She just sent me this e-mail:

Yes, it is not a real spanking unless your bottom is bare. Thanks for the spanking. I want another and another.

This was the next e-mail in my box:

Okay, here is my story line for the next session.

You come into my apartment. You sit on the couch and I sit next to you. You ask me what I want. I reply, “A spanking.” Then you say, “Why?”

I reply, “Because I need an attitude adjustment.” You say, “I agree. Now take off your pants and bend over.”

You start spanking me for as long as you want. You rest your hand and arm in between 20-50 intervals (your choice). After 30-60 minutes (again your choice) of spanking me, you tell me to get into the bedroom for my strapping.

You tell me to strip and bend over the bed and wait until you are ready to come in and give me my strapping.

After the strapping, you tell me to get out to the living room and stand in the corner.

Then you say, “I think you need to be spanked more. What do you think?” I say, “I don't think so.” Then you say, “I disagree. Now get over here and bend your butt over my knees.”

You then spank me for as long as you want. Then you tell me to lean against the wall and spread eagle. You then pick up the strap and give me another strapping.

Maintenance or attitude adjustment, I have a lot of spanking to do!

Thank you all for helping us to better understand this important subject.

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