Monday, October 09, 2006

Keyword Chaos Lives!

Yes, it's time for another installment of the feature that readers create one search at a time. One of the odd pleasures of operating a blog is reviewing the search strings that visitors use to find MBS. Some of them were clearly looking for something other than a spanko blog. In other cases, I can't imagine what they hoped to find. Some are downright humorous and those queries lead us here, to Keyword Chaos.

  • Are spankings real on television shows? - They're every bit as real as Jerry Springer and professional wrestling!

  • credit card spanking toys oh damn - There's not too much mystery about the fate of someone who exceeds their credit limit buying spanking toys

  • grow hips and bottom enhancement - I used an all-natural technique known as motherhood

  • I want you to see my bottom - Confessions of a recreational mooner

  • How to spank sexily - It's the attack of the mutant adverbs!

  • Why would a woman cry during a spanking? - Umm, let's see... It hurts?

  • spanking red thong protection - Regardless of hue, thongs don't provide any spanking protection at all

  • spank my bottom samples - With any purchase today, we'll give you a coupon good for five free whacks at our spanking booth

  • hard spankings deserve skirt - If you misbehave again, you'll have to wear the comfortable skirt

  • spanking history - We now know that Julius Caesar's wife, Calpurnia, was quite fond of whippings with a leather harness

  • bottom smarts women - Watch for our brand spanking new 2007 calendar: "The Women of My Bottom Smarts"

  • maple paddle whack butt - I love Canadians!

  • yard sale hairbrush spanking - Yep, that will attract a good crowd

  • spanking crack - It is pretty addictive

  • bar bottom spanking - I picture a Wild West saloon with the big mirror and lots of cowboys and townsfolk. Maybe the marshall could do the honors...

  • do you want your bottom spanked - C'mon, I hardly know you!

  • spank you until your buttocks fall off - If you very carefully pack them in ice and take them to the nearest emergency room, they can often be surgically reattached

  • why spanking? - Because we like it!

  • BDSM and Tabasco - Talk about spicing up your sex life!

  • how I met your mother brunch recap - OK, there's a topic I hadn't considered

  • spanking therapist - Vas your muther a schpanko?

  • punishment panty girdle - Sounds redundant to me

  • spank city - On the scenic shores of Lake Swatchuwarmly

  • panty cuts - If they give you cuts, buy a bigger size

  • my massage secretary - Let me guess, she's not much of a typist

  • dancing spanked bottoms - Ah, yes, the old hop and rub two-step

  • what is a spanko? - Considering that this person read 26 pages, I think they need only look in the mirror

  • aunties kinky undies - Hey, even aunties are entitled to a little fun!

  • spank me panties - So says the submissive transvestite pirate

  • silly spankings - That rubber chicken hurts more than you think

  • wool pantyhose spanking - Wool? Are you kidding me? That should be punishment enough

  • spankopoly - Watch out for Boardwalk!


Paul said...

I don't know how you do it Bonnie, but you get better and better, that was hilarious.

cuddlybum said...

red thong protection????? is this person sane?



Eva said...

Bonnie~ this was your best ever!! Thanks for the laughs!!

A.S.S. said...

Why would a woman cry during a spanking? hmmm, good question! An extensive research project should be started immediately.

~Todd & Suzy

Anne Elizabeth said...

Great list, Bonnie !!!!

Happy Monday !

Anne Elizabeth

Tony said...

Oh man, I would so buy a "Women of My Bottom Smarts" calendar!!! Bonnie, promise you'll include a pic of you in those white shorts that you wrote about earlier ("The Saga of the White Shorts")? As you may recall, I mentioned that that story had a powerful effect on me... ;)

dirty joke sir said...

Cool blog!

Eva said...

So the next morning Eva returns looking to see if Bonnie has posted anything new because blogrolling isn't always accurate and dependable. Bonnie's keyword chaos gets another quick once over and as eva is about to leave she says to herself "Oh, good grief. Spankopoly. Boardwalk. I get it."

Eva has NEVER even claimed to be quick about anything.

Kayley said...

That was hilarious!! I gotta send this to Jack in an email, if that's ok with you. He can't access funny stuff from his parents computer... understandable! lol

I *adored* this one: "what is a spanko? - Considering that this person read 26 pages, I think they need only look in the mirror"

I can be only amazed of what people look for over the Internet. And I'm very curious what they were actually searching when they typed that stuff!

Very funny Bonnie! HUGZ!

alexd said...

This is the best bunch yet. I laughed out loud several times. Thanks for a great start to my day.

Anonymous said...

So love reading those, Bonnie!!!


Bonnie said...

Paul - Thank you. I worry about over-exposing some of these bits, but the search words provide such a gold mine of material that I can't resist.

Cuddly - I often question the mental state of some of these folks. I can hear it now... "A policeman came to my house and wrote me a ticket for operating a search engine while intoxicated."

Eva - You're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Todd and Suzy - Our tax dollars at work!

Anne Elizabeth - Thanks!

Tony - How could I forget?

Dirty - Thank you, and welcome to MBS!

Eva (again) - Yes, one of these days I may get around to completely corrupting this parlor classic. Until then, all we have is this one goofy gag.

Kay - You know, a lot of times, I have no clue what they actually sought. Those complete non-sequitirs are often the funniest words.

Alex - You're welcome! I am fond of this feature because it's fun, easy to prepare, and it's usually good for a laugh.

Tigger - Thanks!

Ell said...

Ha! You are very witty indeed,loved this. :)


Bonnie said...

Ell - Thank you, and welcome to MBS!

Post a Comment