Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Spanking 101: Bratting


If you ask ten spankos to define the term "bratting," it's possible that you could receive ten different answers. Despite this wide spectrum of opinion, I believe we can gain some insight by examining the question more closely.

A brat, in the common vernacular, is a poorly behaved child. In the spanko world, it is applied to an adult who acts in a similar fashion. Regardless of how you believe the child should be handled, the presumption is that the adult brat is deserving of a spanking. They may, in fact, actually be asking for it by manifesting bratty behavior.

Therein lies the first thorny issue. Some spankers believe that a brat who seeks a spanking should not be so rewarded. Doing so, from this perspective, would simply encourage the inappropriate behavior. Other spankers simply spank the brat and call the matter finished.

Bratting, and teasing in general, can be fun as long as both parties are playing the same game. It leads very easily into a variety of role play spanking scenarios.

Bratting behavior can include spanking the spanker, hiding implements, name calling, dares, risque dress, running away, exposing vulnerable skin, and silly pranks. The common thread is harmless fun that places the spanker in a position where administering a spanking would be appropriate.

Not all spankees engage in bratting behavior. Not all spankers appreciate it. Here are ten reasons why a spankee may choose not to brat.
  1. Their partner doesn't respond

  2. It can create misunderstandings

  3. It's easier to just ask

  4. It may be interpreted as a sign of disrespect

  5. The spankee doesn't want to feel like child

  6. The spankee's true intent is erotic

  7. The spanker may feel manipulated

  8. It doesn't seem that funny

  9. Why would you enrage a man with a paddle?

  10. It doesn't work in the context of their relationship
Most relationships have room for a little joking. Bratting may fit within these bounds, or it may not. As with so many dimensions of a loving partnership, the individual needs and desires of the couple generally trump all other considerations. To the extent that bratting enhances mutual satisfaction, it's a good idea. Should it become one-sided or inhibit open communication, it may be time to refocus upon the more fundamental elements of the relationship.

So, to brat or not to brat? That remains a question each spanko couple must answer for themselves.

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11 comments :

Shimon said...

what you said about not rewarding a spankee who is seeking a spanking reminds me of something I learnt in a philosophy class in college. In a true S and M relationship the masochist says hit me and the sadist says no.

Paul said...

Bonnie, my Mel liked to tease, it's not as if there was any shortage of spankings in our house.
As I have said before about 90% were GG spanking. A goodnight warm-up took place most nights, sometimes she wanted more. mostly I was inclined to indulge her.
Mel's work often stressed her, something she found hard to admit, bratting was her way of asking for a stress buster, it worked for us!!!
Sorry that I missed the brunch Sunday. Still made interesting reading, thank Bonnie.
Hugs,
Paul.

Anonymous said...

Really great blog subject!!! I don't really brat much because our spankings are of the gg erotic variety. When I do brat, though, I mostly tease and pout. My favorite way to brat is to pout, flip up my sleepshirt and show my bottom to my hubby!!! And yes, I get spanked, which is exactly what I want!!!

*hugs*
Tigger

Tigger said...

Hi Bonnie,

My hubby loves for me to brat... and when I'm in the mood, I've grown to love it even more. I've always loved teasing, taunting, being playful, trying to make him laugh and, well, yes, annoy him a bit, too. It's a sure-fire way to get his attention if nothing else, and it seems to come quite naturally to us, when we are both attuned.

It's turned sour on me a time or two, but usually because of misinterpretting signals. It does usually get me what I want, though, a very reddened butt. Unfortunately, he tends to really enjoy "punishing" bratty behavior so it often involves that most unpleasant yet highly erotic and electrically charged corner time, too, followed by a harder or longer spanking than I'd get "just for fun." But when I need it most, this is a certain way to get it!

Good topic, Bonnie!

Hugs,
Tigger

Damnation's Cellar said...

I try not to do this much. I don't like to see it, even and I find I get annoyed when I am witness to someone else doing it. I think I'm successful from refraining, but I can't help but wonder what the spankers in my life would say.

DC

wellspankedbot said...

I find that this kind of behaviour fits naturally into our relationship, in fact I think it was this that led us into exploring spanking.

As there is an age gap between us, it was always natural that he played a dominant role. I can be quite outspoken and bossy, and this can sometimes be interpreted as behaving like a spoilt child, or being bratty.

I find that if I go out of my way to be a brat in order to get a spanking, then he simply ignores me.
If, however, I am unaware that I am being a brat and am therefore annoying him, then I get spanked.

To me, this can sometimes be more intense than a normal punishment spanking.

As an example, if we are in a public place and I decide to disagree with him, or start acting up, then he has a code word. It's similar in use to a safe word, in that only we understand it, but it means that we can be in a public place and he has a word he can use that translates as 'you are going to get a really good spanking when you get home'.

It is the easiest way to get me to be quiet and humble, and it is guaranteed to get me blushing. The most humbling part of it is when it happens when we are out with friends and I can't explain to them what has just happened.

I then have to wait out the rest of the day, knowing I am going to get spanked, and just wanting it over with.

It works for us anyway.

Janeen said...

This is a great topic! It's interesting to read everyone's opinion on bratting, I've often wondered how many spanking relationships use the tactic, and how it works out for them.

Very informative Bonnie, great post!

Bonnie said...

Shimon - I suppose that would be right, but it doesn't sound like much fun.

Paul - There's certainly no need to wander around stressed out, is there?

Tigger Too - Yep, that technique would most definitely work here too.

Tigger - That sounds like a fine arrangement. It's wonderful when you know each other to the point where some of these things are simply understood.

DC - I don't think there are any right or wrong answers on this subject, except in the context of your own relationship.

WSB - Hi, and welcome to MBS! It sounds as though your system works very well.

Janeen - I too enjoy the divergent opinions, and I figured we'd get some on this topic. I hope all is well in your corner of reality.

Katie_Spades said...

I generally like to brat a little but not too much because it annoys Jake when it's too much. A little is cute, but a lot gets me a thoroughly spanked bum.

XOXO,
Katie

Spkrbryan said...

Hi Bonnie,

We were just discussing this the other day at WSF. I love it when Dee brats and she is very good at it. Sometimes it's simple, like pouting, other times she goes all out.We were in the U&I Tavern in Portland; the swingers were meeting in the back behind a closed curtain. Dee asked if she could go back there and party with them (we knew them and they knew us). I said ok but keep your clothes on. Dee disappears behind the curtain, 30 seconds later I hear, "Hey Bryan your g/f dancing naked on the pool table again". I go back there and sure enough, she is naked and smiling, she even sticks her tongue out at me. Perfect bratting in action, I gotta love her.

Bryan

Anonymous said...

I don't get a spanking if I ask for one, so I have little choice. I just have to go out of my way to be annoying.

Tickling works the best, though usually that just gets me tickled in return.

What's a girl to do when she can't win either way, hum?

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