Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Spanko Radio

(Announcer with rich baritone voice enhanced with reverb): You’re listening to KNPS, Spanko Radio.

(Harmonizing jingle singers): K-N-P-S…

(Fast talking, disturbingly buoyant DJ): Good Wednesday morning to all of you happy spankos throughout the Tri-State area! The sun is shining and it’s shaping up to be a beautiful day. Cindy, our weather gal, is calling for a high of 84 bun warming degrees. She says it’s going to be a great day to drop those shorts and get a great tan. Now doesn't that sound like fun…?

(DJ): Let’s start off our morning with Madonna and “Hanky Panky.”


(DJ): Wow, you have to love a woman who knows what she likes.

(Announcer): This is KNPS. Just turn us around and bend us over and our call letters spell “SPANK.”

(DJ): Yes, they sure do. Keep your dial where it is. This is Mark Flesh and we’ll be right back on the other side of this short commercial break.

(Sincere female voice): The skin care professionals at the Vermillion Hills Institute understand tender skin. There are times when your skin can become red, sore, and unsightly. Fortunately, there is now a remarkable new rejuvenating crème known as SitAgain. This amazing patent-pending blend of rare herbs, flower petals, cooling cream, and aloe brings rapid, safe relief from induced skin irritations. SitAgain is available at better pharmacies without a prescription. Try a tube tonight!

(DJ): OK, we’re back and it’s time to give away a pair of tickets to this weekend’s Spank Fest out at the fairgrounds. I’ll give those tickets, a $20 value, to the first caller who can correctly identify this implement. Listen closely now…


(DJ): OK, we’ll take the fifth caller for those tickets. Hello. Barbara?

(Barbara): Hi Mark.

(DJ): Can you identify the implement being used in that sound bite?

(Barbara): It sounds like something pretty solid to me. I’ll say it’s a paddle.

(DJ): That’s a very good guess, Barbara, but I’m afraid I can’t give you the tickets. Let’s go to our next caller. Millie?

(Millie): Why, hello, Mark. You know I love your show.

(DJ): Thanks. Are you ready to guess that implement?

(Millie): Oh yes. I know that sound very, very well. My boyfriend has a Vermont Country Store bath brush that he uses on my bottom. It sounds just like, except I scream the entire time.

(DJ): Millie, you are our winner. The sound was the infamous VCS brush striking its target. Thanks for calling and stay on the line for your prize.

(Millie): Thank you so much, Mark.

(DJ): Now let’s check our traffic with Corporal Punishment up in the chopper.

(CP, through a tinny microphone with loud helicopter noise behind): Good Morning, Mr. Flesh. We’ve had a couple of rear-enders on the 660 this morning and as a result the entire south side traffic flow is taking a beating. Everything below the beltway looks like trouble. Back to you…

(DJ): Thanks, Corporal. Stay tuned, everyone. In the next hour, we’ll check out a new line of designer spankwear. That’s right. Even spankos can dress for success…

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Don said...

I hope that was as much fun to write as it was for me to read.

Anonymous said...

That's too funny, Bonnie!!!


Paul said...

Hi Bonnie, I'll bet you enjoyed that.
Wouldn't it be nice to tune into a station like that, and to live in a world where it could happen.

Irch said...

lol well that made me smile for sure - lovely to read first thing in the morning!

Jo aka SeaRabbit said...


padme said...

:) Very cute and humorous, bonnie. :) I showed Master Anakin and he had a laugh this morning too. You seem to have the best spanking humor of everyone I know...
Hope your doing ok.

Marcus said...

Cute and funny. Nice!

Bonnie said...

Don - Yes, I believe it was. Thanks.

Tigger - Thanks!

Paul - That's precisely the question I mean to suggest - What if?

Irch - Hi, and welcome to MBS! I'm glad you enjoyed spanko radio.

Jo - Thank you!

Padme - Thanks. We're doing quite well.

Adult spankings (and sex in general) can be downright hilarious under the right circumstances. I think too many people take these things entirely too seriously. If I can get them to step back for a moment and examine the lighter side then I feel as though I've done some good.

Marcus - I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks.

CeeCi said...

K-MBS where the hits just keep on comin'! Great post Bonnie.

Mary said...

Where do you come up with this stuff? Ohh to be so clever. I loved it!

Bonnie said...

CeeCi - Thanks!

Mary - To tell you the truth, a lot of ideas come to me while I am driving in the car. I can't tell you why. They just do. That was the origin of spanko radio.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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