Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Welcome to Swatter’s Retreat

Swatter’s Retreat, America’s finest luxury spanko resort, is located a mere fifteen minutes south of Flogger Park. Situated on 1200 idyllic wooded acres, Swatter’s Retreat offers something special for every spanking enthusiast:
  • Deluxe rooms featuring four poster beds, extra pillows, balconies, sound baffles, and a complete stock of disciplinary supplies

  • Daily dinner service at Over the Knee, our four star continental dining room (padded seating for 52)

  • Full use of our two executive fitness clubs featuring the Crop-o-matic line of workout equipment

  • Nightly cocktails at Welts, our rustic tavern and snack bar

  • Exclusive spa privileges, including access to Rolf, our licensed corporal punishment masseur

  • The elegant Hindquarters conference facility offers meeting rooms, catered dining, and our unique load-bearing, adjustable height podiums

  • Seven miles of immaculately maintained hiking trails, including the very popular hickory grove walk

  • Premium honeymoon suite featuring a beautiful mahogany and brass spanking bench and a choice of exotic implements from around the world

To reserve your dream getaway at Swatter’s Retreat, call us now at (888) SWATTER. Whether it’s your first visit or your fiftieth, we know you’ll agree that memories made at Swatter’s Retreat last a long, long time.

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Mike said...

is it available for corporate events? I think it might be a good place for team building exercises and a moral boost. How about weddings?


Bonnie said...


How right you are. I've added a bullet describing the conference facility.


Marcus said...

If we don't like it, can we take it out on the manager's ass? I hear she's totally worth it!

Storm Rider said...

Could you imagine the sounds cumming out of the rooms in the evening, the morning, mid day, afternoon!
IT would remind me of a beaver dam filled with 1000 beavers slapping their tales against the water!
Hmmmm..... (theres a pun in there somewhere!)

Anonymous said...

Sounds like the perfect weekend getaway!!!


ann regel said...

Ohhh, put me down for a room!!! Perhaps My Guy and I could book the honeymoom suite after we get married?

Very cute, Bonnie!

Janeen said...

Sounds perfect! I totally need a getaway right now too!! LOL

jade said...

You mean it's not real?! Don't tease me like that.

ReaderGirl said...

Too funny, Bonnie! You definitely have a gift.

Bonnie said...

Marcus - Yes, I guess that would follow. But in the name of fairness, please at least take a look at your room first!

Storm - Wet spankings you say? Hmmmm. I didn't even mention the bathroom fixtures...

Tigger - There's just nothing like a romantic spanko getaway.

Smart - That would be great! He could even carry you over the "thrashhold."

Janeen - Yes, you and Will would definitely be candidates for the super spanko weekend package.

Jade - Here's a great entrepreneurial opportunity. You don't even have to pay me royalties (I'll settle for a few free sessions with Rolf).

Reader - Thanks! Instead of a nightly turn down service, this establishment could provide a tie down service!

Ree said...

I was so hoping it was real........sigh

Marcus said...

Bonnie said, "But in the name of fairness, please at least take a look at your room first!"

Oh. Heh. Alright. If you say so. ;)

miss kitty said...

Where do I sign up? And is there off (waaay off) site child care???

Muffin said...

Awww, Bonnie! I thought it was a real place!! Not a bad idea, though, is it? I'd be happy to work there for FREE!!

Anonymous said...

If this isn't on the level, that's too bad, but how did you get that picture with the prominently featured sign in it?

Anonymous said...

Oh, never mind! I forgot, Photoshop (re/ the sign out in front of the place).

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