Recap: The Open Mike Spanko Brunch

Our open mike spanko brunch was a tremendous success. I want to offer my heartfelt thanks to everyone who participated. The responses were insightful and thought-provoking. I’m so impressed, in fact, that I want to summarize them here on the front page for the benefit of readers who might just be passing through.

Before I do, though, I would like to welcome Mary to My Bottom Smarts. You sound like a kindred spirit. I’m glad you’re here!

Question: Do you love your spankings? Do you hate them? Both or neither? Do you wish for spankings? Or do you pray to avoid them?

Linda: I love it when Mark is really into it. He gets all dommy and stern and doesn't allow me to wimp out. He holds his ground with me and at the same time is lovingly reassuring.

Tigger: I love getting spanked and my hubby loves spanking me. For us, it's definitely sexual.

KK: I enjoy each and every swat I get and sometimes I crave them. If it has been a while between them, I miss them very much. I know that they are what I need in my life. I am glad to have someone that will give them to me and not think I am crazy for loving them so much. I enjoy a red ass.

Danielle: I really need spankings and can't live without them anymore. Very strange, because I did live more than 30 years without any thought of spanking.

Rivka: I do love spankings... very very much. Even the discipline ones (although, NOT while they're actually happening).

Sassy: I both love and hate my spankings. More importantly, I NEED them. They give me balance and make me feel safe. It is imperative that I receive consistent discipline spankings. It is only then that I can enjoy the erotic or lighthearted ones. Without the foundation of the discipline, the others only lead to frustration.

Mike: I love the spankings that I get and give. With my wife and I, it's all about erotic spanking. I'm the one that started it in our relationship, but she's joined in.

Janeen: I'd have to say it's a love/hate relationship with the discipline ones, but the erotic ones are always fun.

Pinkcheeks: From erotic spankings to discipline spankings to quick swats on the bottom as "reminders," Hubby and I know the importance of DD in our lives, and how much it enhances our relationship.

Padme: I have a love and hate with the discipline spankings. But the erotic ones are lovely and center me and bond me with Master Anakin...

Mary: I LOVE spankings. Unlike some, we do not use spankings as punishment (I guess I'm just too much of a pain slut). Though there may be playful threats of "punishing the naughty girl," the spankings are for me because I simply enjoy being spanked. I most definitely wish for them and have at times been known to beg for them.

Cuddlybum: I love them. And now I'm off to try and weasel my way into another one tonight!!!! Good, good question!

Bonnie: There’s only love here. Nothing stokes my fires like a few good slaps across the derriere.

Question: What makes a good spanking for you? Or is that phrase an oxymoron?

Linda: A good spanking is one that both myself and my husband are into at the same time. It's not as effective if only one of us is into it and the other is only appeasing.

Tigger: What makes a good spanking? For me it starts with the anticipation. The thought of knowing I'm going to get a spanking turns me on almost as much as the act itself. Especially when my hubby gives me that sexy grin of his! Then it's onto the main event, which is usually over my husband's lap on the bed (my favorite position) and always starts with a warm-up. Sometimes, I have panties on for this, sometimes not, but either way, it's wonderful! Then, little by little, the spanks get harder (no more than I can take, of course, but most times, I can take a pretty hard spanking) until I'm so aroused that I'm wiggling around and begging for him to touch me. At which point he does, but only just enough to tease me before I get spanked some more. Since spanking is erotic for us, it's always followed by incredible sex! Mmmm, there's nothing better than making love while my bottom is still hot and stinging!!!

Rivka: No, I don't think a good spanking is an oxymoron at all. For me, there are both good erotic spankings *and* good discipline spankings (just don't ask me in the midst of it).

In my opinion, a good erotic spanking is a mind trip - it alternates constantly between varying, opposite sensations (slap-rub, pinch-kiss, fast-slow, etc...). However it happens, it's a combination of pain and pleasure.

A good discipline spanking is memorable and lasting. It's one that is long enough to break through resolves and truly "get the point across." After it's completely over, it involves (for me) aftercare. It’s a point of reconciliation.

Mike: A good spanking is simply one we both enjoy. A great spanking, for me, is when my boundary starts to get pushed, but not enough to get in the way of immediately moving on to other activities.

Marcus: One of my favorite spankings I gave had my girl on my lap cuddling. She was wearing my button-down shirt and nada else. She was getting goofy and bratty, and so I gave her a swat. She nibbled my ear. I gave her another swat. More nibbling. Pretty soon she was breathing hard and my hand was still working her cheeks. She never left cuddling me in my lap throughout the spanking. It's amazing how black and blue a bottom can get from a hand spanking though.

Eyes Downcast: At this point I will take whatever kind of spanking my husband would give me! :-)

Little One: A good spanking to me is any spanking that I receive from my Guy. They may be too few and far between at the present time, but any I receive from him are full of love. Of course, our erotic spankings are by far the crème de la crème. :)

Mary: What makes it good? I thrive on the endorphin rush - being pushed just a little farther than I can go and ending up in a happy subspace. I like it hard; I like marks. I absolutely LOVE how hot and horny he gets spanking me.

Cuddlybum: Spankings are for fun, foreplay, stress relief..... we don't do punishment spankings - well my beloved doesn't do them – I sometimes ask for a spanking if I'm feeling really bad about it and want to wipe the slate clean so to speak.

But the most important part of any spanking for me is the cuddling afterwards. I always get cuddled afterwards regardless of what the spanking is for!! AND yes, mostly there's sex involved as well, even in the stress relief ones - and my God is it hot after!!!

Bonnie: Here are my ten elements of a good spanking.

Question: How do spankings make you feel? Satisfied? Contrite? Romantic? Or just plain sore?

Linda: Sometimes I need to feel punished and dominated to the point of completely losing control but for the most part I just love the closeness and warmth I get from Mark spanking me before we make love. I think he loves the way I become during and after, I'm not only very agreeable but thankful as well.

Tigger: How do I feel after a spanking? I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say I was usually a little sore. But in a good way, if that makes sense. And of course, I also feel very satisfied, not to mention extremely loved. I'm not really sure why I like being spanked, though. Like Linda, I like the submissive aspect of it, I suppose. And I completely agree with her about spanking making a couple feel a closeness and love.

Danielle: Erotic spankings have spiced and increased my sex life. I feel wanted and loved and very satisfied afterwards. Spanking for stress relief is a must. All problems are gone or I can cope with them. Punishment spanking is a rare phenomenon. But when I'm in tantrum there's only one way, the old-fashioned. Afterwards I feel liberated; everything is forgiven and forgotten.

Rivka: Spankings make me feel... all of the above. It would be a lie to say they don't HURT or make me SORE as heck... but at the same time, in any case, I'm very satisfied. Usually it's a major turn on for me (even after discipline spankings) and so I'm definitely feeling sexy and romantic. Sometimes... I do simply feel resolved after a discipline session. But not too often.

Little One: I’m almost always left sore from a spanking. If not, I think I feel I missed out on something. The aftercare from any spanking is almost just as sweet as the spanking itself, be it just him soothing my scalded bottom with his soft, soothing, loving hands, or if it’s sweet and gentle, or hot and frantic love making. They all go hand in hand and one wouldn’t be complete without the other.

Pinkcheeks: From erotic spankings to discipline spankings to quick swats on the bottom as "reminders", Hubby and I know the importance of DD in our lives, and how much it enhances our relationship. *smile*

Mary: How do spankings make me feel? Horny as heck! They always end in good sex.

Carrielilly: I was thinking that spankings make me feel... well all of the above. satisfied, check. contrite, check. romantic,(um more like horny but yes :) check. However, very rarely really sore. CD likes to say that I have an ass of steel. My ass doesn't mark very much and usually the day after I'm pretty much back to normal. We do punishment spankings (more for me than for him) maintainance spankings, and erotic gg spankings (oh yum my absolute favorite!)

Bonnie: It’s a tremendous turn on! I’m ready for love.

Although we may participate in spanking for a variety of reasons, we all find the experience rewarding and beneficial in some fashion. That's what keeps us coming back for more.

I appreciate these excellent contributions. Thank you all!

So, would anyone like to share another spanko brunch next Sunday?

Keywords: spanking, perspectives