Our topic this week was bloggers' responsibilities to silent readers. Here's what you had to say.
Elle: I think it's to be honest. Lying about any type of TTWD is not going to be helpful at all. :)
Six of the Best: Make your spanking blog as interesting and entertaining as possible. Ask for feedback in your comments.
Annarose:
- Be true to yourself and don't let people who don't agree with your form of TTWD get you down or influence how or what you blog.
- Be welcoming to everyone even if they practice a different style of TTWD.
- Don't brag about how long you have been doing TTWD or other things just to make yourself appear better. If you don't truly do TTWD (presently) then don't make it appear as if you do. This seconds Elle's thoughts which are just be honest.
- Participate in the day dedicated to lurkers to get to know your readers.
Although I have been reading spanking, DD and D/s blogs for over three years, I am one of the quiet blog readers to which this question refers. I enjoy love your lurker day and wish we had it more frequently as many bloggers from all different blog types participate and really make it special for the quiet readers such as myself and my partner.
I'm pleased that you feel welcome because you most certainly are! Thanks for your comment. We will definitely celebrate LOL Day 8 this fall.
Kia: When I write, I try to be open and honest about my experience (or lack thereof), and to create an overall feel that fits my personality, and try to make it straight-forward should a reader choose to comment or e-mail. .
That said, I tend to be one of the quiet blog-readers, even on sites that I read frequently. I don't think there's anything in particular that bloggers do or don't do that makes me feel more comfortable commenting, but I've noticed that it has been getting easier. I think part of my hangup is that I don't often have much to add to a conversation- or maybe I'm just shy and using that as an excuse.
As a writer, it's somewhat nice to know that there is a silent readership out there. During stretches when I haven't received much feedback I continue writing, knowing that I may be reaching someone who isn't ready to write back yet.
*Bonnie*: I would have to say I think its important to be honest. Honest in your struggles and your joys. There's always some aspect someone can relate to. Hopefully our words can create something positive in their lives because that's what blogland does for me.
Mr. BB: A year ago, I was researching and planning for the activation of the A Domestic Discipline Society (ADDS) blog. I have moderated and led discussion groups, managed a well known spanko/DD social site and been involved in several areas of the community for many years. But I had never written a blog.
It was from blogs like this one and a few others that I learned about lurkers or quiet readers as I prefer to refer to them. I felt it was obvious that as a blogger I have a responsibility to everyone who reads what is presented publicly. I wanted a DD news and information site that offered resources for everyone whether they commented or not. I noticed that a few of the very well known blogs that have been around years didn't need to receive as many comments, but they all provided solid articles and posts in many variations.
I think we have a responsibility to understand that what we write and share is going to be there long into the future and long past a time when it's new and people will comment on the post or article.
I can't wait for Love Our Lurkers Days. It brings everyone together and celebrates all of the people who read our blogs and shows appreciation for those who decide to do so quietly if they choose, and gives them a chance to say Hi if they wish. :)
Thanks, Mr. BB, for contributing a good question and a thoughtful response. I too look forward to LOL Day 8.
Daisy Christian: I think it's important to be honest and real. We all have struggles whether its with TTWD or daily life, and readers like to read about struggles as well as triumphs so they don't feel alone.
Roz : I agree. Be honest and true to yourself and your relationship in your writing. Don't just write about the ups or the downs. Most people read blogs in order to help them work though their own thoughts and feelings and for support and ideas to enhance their own relationship.
Welcome those who comment for the first time and encourage lurkers to do so if they wish.
Do not try to portray your brand of TTWD as 'the' way to do it. What works for one couple doesn't necessarily work for all.
Fiona: I don't know if it's really a "responsibility," but it is important to me, on my blog, to be honest. I represent facts as best I can and declare when a post is fictitious.
It is also important to me to be polite to those who take the risk and de-lurk. They take the time to comment and I try to always take the time to respond.
Dr. Ken: Whether quiet or noisy, my "responsibility" is the same. I try to put up something fun that the reader will enjoy, whether they look at spanking as fun playtime or oh-so-serious discipline.
Hermione: I don't know if responsibility is the right word. My choice is to present spanking as normal and very enjoyable part of life. Like Dr. Ken, I want my readers to have fun when they visit my blog, and I like to entertain them.
Ronnie: I like my blog to be fun for my readers when they visit. I hope they are entertained. I think being honest, truthful and welcoming is a must.
Sunnygirl: I want my readers to enjoy visiting my blog. Aside from the stories, I like to keep it light, sometimes thought provoking and entertaining for the most part. I rant occasionally, but to try keep that at a minimum because nobody likes a downer all the time.
Anon: Play nice! Respect authors and their right to make a living, even if you don't agree, and even if somebody else already published a free story about somebody getting spanked before. Respect other bloggers, their opinions, their methods, their choices. Everybody does it their own way, so nobody has any business publicly saying that others are wrong. Avoid using your blog to put others down. Delete comments left by anonymous visitors who are disrespectful to others, and don't write them in the first place. Personal agendas and quests to be #1 do nothing to create a sense of belonging and solidarity to readers. Most readers are emotionally and physically isolated because of their lifestyle choices or desires. Nobody should go to a blog for information and find negativity towards other authors/bloggers.
To all the other bloggers - keep it real and share the ups and downs.
Reece Seever: Like Hermione, I'm not sure "responsibility" is the right concept. The wonderful thing about blogging is it can serve so many purposes: entertainment, enlightenment, and providing a vehicle for self-expression. And, of course, creating a wonderful forum for people to have a conversation.
Bob B: When I started my blog, I had only seen one or maybe two others. I did not really know this world existed. I originally started for my own enjoyment and to explore my own feelings on the subject and did not even consider that others would read and comment. After reading the previous comments, one particular word crops up a lot, and that is honesty. This is the ideal forum to be honest and express yourself. For me, being more of a reader than a prolific blogger, the honesty and other bloggers' points of view and comments makes this world both educational and wonderfully entertaining.
Rich Person: We're doing it right (IMHO). Otherwise, instead of the ratio being 1:100, it would be 100:1!
That said, I think it's more how we handle the initial contact that makes the most difference. I'm happy to say that I usually see a friendly response to anyone new. That says a lot about our community, right there.
Bonnie: As others said, responsibility might be too strong a word. Serving our friendly lurkers is not a compulsory obligation so much as a wonderful opportunity to make friends, help people, and build community. I believe that the aggregation of many small actions over time can change the world for the better. If we work together and are positive and supportive and welcoming, we can be that change.
The message I most want to convey to those who peek in from the periphery is that consensual adult spanking is OK. The desire to spank or be spanked, or maybe just to watch, is fairly common. They are definitely not alone. Better still, there are lots of happy, normal, successful, friendly, loving people who share this interest. My hope is that others will find the same joy that my husband and I know. Spanking is not for everyone to be sure, but if you have that inclination, it can be amazing.
In short, it's all right to be who you are.
Thank you all for your great answers. Please watch for more information about Love Our Lurkers Day 8 in the coming weeks.
