Bonnie Before Blogging: Part Four

These interview questions and answers feel like an archeological dig inside my own head. Almost twenty years ago, I was a busy mom of an active teen. My situation and perspectives have since evolved in ways I could not have anticipated. Here is the final installment.

Q16: What kinds of spanking rituals do you enjoy?

A16: I love spanking rituals. Randy and I have several great ones. Probably the oldest rituals deal with me signaling my desire for a spanking. In the early years, I wasn’t as comfortable with the idea of simply asking. We developed a system where I would leave out a spanking implement. Upon spotting that wayward tail-warmer, he would employ it in the obvious manner. We pretty much abandoned that method after our first grader inquired about a paddle she found.

A few years ago, Randy bought me about a dozen bright pink thong-style panties. These wouldn’t necessarily be my choice of undergarment, but they have come to serve the same purpose as the conspicuous paddle. Anytime Randy detects that I am wearing a thong, it’s open season on my posterior.

We have rituals concerning travel as well. Randy seems to believe that it would be a tragedy if I went anywhere without benefit of a spanking beforehand.

My favorite variety of ritual, however, is the ritualistic spanking. I adore it when Randy makes the event a choreographed production, complete with lots of descriptions of what he is about to do to me. Somehow, those words make the whole experience more real. Sometimes, he’ll have me fetch a special implement, stand in a particular place, uncover my target in a specific manner, bend over as he instructs, count the swats as they fall, and stand absolutely still throughout the proceedings. Randy occasionally makes me stay in position after the spanking while he inspects my marks and makes detailed comments about the condition of my bottom. This kind of ritual presses buttons I didn’t even know I had!

Q17: What have you learned about the spanking lifestyle that you didn’t know when you began more than twenty years ago?

A17: Quite a lot! I know what I like and what I don’t in terms of the spanking itself. Perhaps more importantly, though, I have a much better idea about the role spanking should play in our lives. We’ve worked through many issues, especially with regard to the whole power exchange business.

Just in the past few years, I’ve had the opportunity to meet other women through the Internet. We’ve compared notes and discovered a lot of shared beliefs and common experiences. This affirmation has been tremendously valuable for me. I now understand that what we do is really not that far from the mainstream.

I guess the one other important change over the past twenty years is my response. Today, I’m much more willing to lie back and let events unfold around me. That’s what it means to let someone else be in control. I can now freely accept that what happens is not up to me, and that’s OK.

Q18: What advice you give to women who are just starting out in this lifestyle?

A18: I think in any relationship, you need to be honest with yourself and with your partner. Open communication in both directions is essential. How, for example, can your partner know which techniques work (or don’t work) unless you tell him?

It is essential that the person who is being spanked have the ability to invoke a safeword. This is not an opportunity to avoid a spanking, but rather a tool for pausing the proceedings in those rare cases where safety issues dictate. The fact that I have a safeword allows me to absorb a lot more pain. I know I could escape, but it’s a matter of pride that I choose instead to accept all of the gifts Randy offers. In more than twenty years, I have used my safeword probably no more than ten times.

My other advice is to be patient. It can be difficult to navigate the complex emotions that surround a spanking. I imagine most people don’t get it quite right the first time. Even couples who have been living this lifestyle for years can occasionally lose their way. What is most important is building and sustaining a rich, loving relationship. Spanking is one of many ways this can be done.

Q19: Are your spanking stories true?

A19: Yes, for the most part, though I will admit to a certain degree of journalistic license. There are some elements that simply have to be synthesized. For example, during the times when Randy is really laying into my bottom, I’m not likely to recall much of the dialogue. I also alter some details to avoid disclosing too much personal information. Though I’m not beyond spicing up the story a little, the events described did happen. If you find some of Randy’s stunts amazing, just imagine how I feel!

Q20: Do you think that you and Randy will still be spanking when you’re senior citizens?

A20: I have no idea. Some days, I feel as though I’m already there (laughs). I hope so. It might just have to be a little mellower.

That's it for this time machine snapshot. Also, the correct answer to question 20 is yes.