A Brief Introduction to Recreational Spanking

Back in September of 2007, my friend Debbie invited me to write this guest post for the readers of her vanilla blog. I think this may have been the only time when I discussed my kink in such a setting. This article has not previously appeared here.

My name is Bonnie and for the past two years, I have published a blog named My Bottom Smarts. It deals with adult spanking. Yes, you read that correctly. My husband and I are into spanking. Thanks to Debbie’s generosity, it’s my privilege to offer you a peek into this world.

For my entire adult life, I’ve been keenly aware of my status as a fudge ripple gal in a plain vanilla world. I don’t aspire to convert anyone, and I’m certainly not going to abandon my kink, but a little bit of understanding might be wonderful.

Here are ten thoughts I would like to share with open-minded folks.

1. Even if you think spanking enthusiasts are weird, please recognize this is just one aspect of our lives. In every other respect, we live like everyone else. We raise children. We have jobs. We pay taxes. We go to the grocery store. We love our families. We complain about gasoline prices.


2. We are not dangerous to anyone. Everything we do is with full consent and we are very careful so as to ensure no one is injured. Spanking is a much safer pastime than, say, motorcycling or rock climbing.


3. We have zero interest in involving children or any non-consenting person. Those kinds of illegal behavior are every bit as reprehensible to us as they are to you.


4. We are not all trying to compensate for or re-live a troubled childhood. I know lots of spanking enthusiasts and this stereotype simply doesn’t hold up.


5. Spanking within the context of a loving relationship is the diametric opposite of spousal abuse. While an abuser tries to suppress his partner’s will by force, a loving spanker seeks to fulfill his partner’s fantasies with her full participation.


6. We genuinely love one another and spanking is one of many ways we demonstrate our love and commitment. For us, spanking is another flavor of lovemaking.


7. Yes, it really does hurt. But, as odd as this may sound, the pain is a secondary consideration. What we treasure more are feelings of connectedness, peace, and openness that follow.


8. It’s not an exclusive club. Anyone can be a spanking enthusiast. In my experience, this community is remarkably helpful, caring, and inclusive. Newbies are definitely welcome.


9. Yes, as a matter of fact, sometimes we think it’s funny too. We’ll be the first to admit there is something slightly comical about a grandmother eagerly bending over to be spanked across her husband’s lap. Our kink needn’t be somber and disciplinary. Honestly, who wants that all of the time? We definitely laugh well and often.


10. There is a whole continuum of spanking enthusiasts. For some couples, spankings are playful fun. Others focus primarily upon the disciplinary aspects. Most of us fall somewhere in between. Even otherwise conventional lovers occasionally enjoy a few well-placed swats during sex. This too qualifies as adult spanking. The point is that there is no single formula. The couples who are happiest are typically those who tailor their lifestyle to their own tastes, preferences, and desires.

Understanding is the first step toward acceptance. Let this be a first step toward understanding. Spanking enthusiasts are friends, neighbors, and relatives. We’re not strange or scary. We’re merely normal, happy people striving to enjoy rewarding lives and relationships.