Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Mar 10

Our topic this week was the relationship between spanking and sex. I provided these eight statements to begin our conversation.

Which of the following statements best fits the relationship between spanking and sexuality for you?

1. Spanking and sexuality are quite separate
2. I can't help that my body responds to spanking in a sexual way
3. I am more aroused by the concept of spanking than the reality
4. Spanking is a turn-on, but not while it's actually happening
5. Spanking can be sexual or non-sexual based upon the situation
6. Spanking is excellent foreplay
7. Spanking is painful punishment and that's a turn-on
8. Spanking and sex are completely intertwined

Here are your thoughts.

Our Bottoms Burn: If only one choice, then definitely B. If more than one choice is allowed, then also F and H.

Country Spanker: Can I have E, F & H please?

Darren: F sums it up for our consensual spanking relationship. Spanking without sex? As my my lovely, long suffering (but not too much...) wife and spankee J says succinctly, “What would be the bloody point?”

Simon: H, but I'm not sure about the completely. I enjoy spanking without sex and sex without spanking, but combining the two is fantastic.

Joeyred: I would answer C. I am aroused in my fantasies by spanking, but when I am being spanked, I am totally focused on processing the pain of the smacks.

Hermione: I would have to choose B, as my body always responds to a spanking in a sexual way. F and H are natural corollaries.

~Subbie: I would definitely choose E. If I'm receiving maintenance or --GASP-- a punishment spanking, it's anything but sexual. I do enjoy a good, square smack on my bum during foreplay or when engaged in a serious session though. ;)

Six of the Best: I would pick F and H. Spanking a lady on the bare bottom is a sexually erotic turn on for me.

Abby Williams: We are through and through H. Spanking and sex are completely intertwined. I am also by nature a storyteller, so even when I have not necessarily wanted a spanking, I have described a spanking fantasy to Mr. W during sex. The professor fantasy I wrote about recently was first a story I'd dreamed up on my own, then one I told him as we progressed from foreplay to sex and through to orgasm.

We very rarely end a spanking without sex. Mr. W is sadistic, but not that sadistic. In our home, spankings are not for punishment, they are the hottest form of foreplay imaginable for us both. Whether we're enacting a scenario (the apple thief story), embracing a challenge (last weekend), or just enjoying how our fetishes fit together, we know that what we do is for each other, mentally, emotionally, and physically. We even discussed how this weekend, we need to do both a spanking session for the blog as well as have playtime for just us, because this is who we are.

We met working together at Barnes and Noble, and if you want to know what those customer service reps are doing while they wait for your questions about where to find the latest bestseller (it's always at the front of the store), here it is: We're talking about what our fetishes are, how we discovered them, where we want to take them, and who we want to explore them with. Ten years ago, this month, Mr. W and I discovered that we both like spanking, that he's the top and I'm the bottom, and that we were bound to be married someday, even though it took a few more years and relationships to make it happen. Now, as we approach our sixth wedding anniversary, I can say for certain: we are H. Our core desires are spanking and each other.

S & D: F & H. There's no question.

Mixie: I am one of these girls who gets aroused by spanking, turned-on. Case in point: Before I started DD, I thought my hormones would not let me become physically turned-on. That changed quickly.

However, as we have become more mature in our DD relationship, the discipline spankings do not turn me on. I am heavy with guilt, and the paddle is uh, painful.

I'm not one of those who is afraid of spankings, but the emotions of a discipline spanking keep me from wanting to break the rules. I guess that is what makes me need to be disciplined.

I would choose B, E, F, G, and H, each to some degree and depending upon the situation. :)

lunaKM: E for sure, if only one answer is really allowed. But all of them could have their place in KM and my M/s relationship honestly.

Abby: Mostly E, but quite a few of the others also.

Tricia: I would say both sexual and non-sexual based on the situation. During a punishment I am in NO way thinking about sex. A lot of times afterwards though, when we reconnect, sex is the BEST EVER.

I also enjoy playful spankings during foreplay and will just about come unglued. ;)

Hobbes: F and H. The hotter the spanking, the hotter the sex. And after four decades of practice, we have become very, very good at this. :-))

Make Mine Red: For me, it would be H. They are completely intertwined.

Jenny: I 'd say G and H are closest for me.

G: Punishment is a turn-on for me. I love being told, "You're going to get a spanking for that. Pull down your pants." Spanking without punishment is fun too, but in a different, less intense way. The power exchange and control of a punishment spanking is thrilling.

H: Spanking and sex are completely intertwined. Yes! A fantasy spanking is a turn-on and a real spanking turns me on too. Punishment and erotic spankings are both incredible turn-ons. I have not yet regretted one spanking. I don't know if I am always happy when the spanks are landing, but I always like it just before and after!

I have asked for one tonight and tomorrow night. They will be punishments for mild disrespectful behavior. I have asked him to spank until I show physical signs of trying to move away or kick my legs. I don't usually do either.

Jean Marie: F and H for me; foreplay sometimes, and completely intertwined at all times.

Anastasia Vitsky: There is a difference between sensuous and sexual. Spanking can be incredibly intimate, loving, and sensuous. But that does not always mean, by default, that it must be sexual. In fact, sometimes when the sex element is removed, the tenderness and intimacy is even stronger.

George K: D for sure.

Sir Q's mlb: B: I can't help that my body responds to spanking in a sexual way.

There are times where I am receiving a spanking and am working so hard on processing the impacts and yet, I'm wet. I don't know where that came from or how it got there... but voila!

Therefore, F: Spanking is excellent foreplay, and

Consequently, frequently: H: Spanking and sex are completely intertwined.

However, sometimes: E: Spanking can be sexual or non-sexual based upon the situation. It depends upon how hard, the implements used, and the situation (i.e., if I'm in trouble).

Bea: A: I'm too scared. Submission, on the other hand, I find very sexy. If I could learn to submit without spankings, I'd be the happiest woman alive.

Archedone: It would appear that most of us are on the same page B, F, and H. If she mentions spanking me, I get erect and ask where, what position and which implements. Spanking and sex are like chocolate and peanut butter.

Roz: I'd say B for us because we practice erotic spanking, punishment and role affirmation. Erotic and RA can be sexual, whereas there is never any sexual element to a punishment spanking. I also have to agree with Ana regarding spanking being sensual but not sexual.

Ronnie: B, F and H for me.

Curtis: B, E, F and H. Spanking is always a turn-on, but it can be such even with non-sexual play.

Terpsichore: I find spankings both sensual as well as sexually arousing. I would say for certain B. I think I would enjoy spanking on its own for the sensory and intimate connection and I also like making love without spanking. However, spanking is deeply connected with my sexuality and pleasure.

Loki Darksong: For me, spankings are...

D: Spanking is a turn-on, but not while it's actually happening. This is me when I bottom. I do enjoy very intense spankings, but not while it is going on. I am more focused on getting through what is happening without wimping out and embarrassing myself, especially if it is in front of others.

E: Spanking can be sexual or non-sexual based upon the situation. This is true. A lot of what is wrong with the scene today is that people are believing that a spanking must end up with some form of sex play. There are many times where that would be inappropriate, and in some cases, a legal issue.

F: Spanking is excellent foreplay. Yes it is! I enjoy giving my wife spankings. I enjoy getting spankings from my wife. And we both enjoy what it does to her and what we do afterwards!

G: Spanking is painful punishment and that's a turn-on. There is something very enticing about facing and then enduring a punishment-style spanking session. You know that it will be painful, but therein lies the charm. It is an ordeal that you feel the most satisfaction for having gone through it. And that in itself is a big turn on!

Daddy's Little Lobster: I think B, E and F pretty much describe me.

Bob: The ones that describe me is B, E, F, and H.

Bonnie: Randy and I are absolutely H. We may exhibit some of the others, but none describe our relationship so completely.

Thanks, everybody, for the tremendous turn-out. If there is strength in diversity (and I believe there is), then we are a strong group indeed. All eight statements were endorsed by at least one person. How alike we are, and yet, how different. See you next weekend!