Saturday, March 09, 2013

MBS Spanko Brunch #373

Hello again, dear friends, and welcome back to our weekend get together. Our question this time is a new variation on a familiar theme. I hope you enjoy it.

Which of the following statements best fits the relationship between spanking and sexuality for you?
  1. Spanking and sexuality are quite separate
  2. I can't help that my body responds to spanking in a sexual way
  3. I am more aroused by the concept of spanking than the reality
  4. Spanking is a turn-on, but not while it's actually happening
  5. Spanking can be sexual or non-sexual based upon the situation
  6. Spanking is excellent foreplay
  7. Spanking is painful punishment and that's a turn-on
  8. Spanking and sex are completely intertwined

To answer our question, please post your thoughts in the form of a comment below. At the conclusion of the weekend, I will publish an edited summary of our discussion.


Anonymous said...

My wife is in charge, I accept and wish it to be that way. My belief is firm in that women raise the children, and it is their make up to be in charge. As a male I like to not act my age at times, be that little boy, and yes do stupid things. My wife understands the male make up and a spanking adresses this side of me. No sexualty activity afterwards, no foreplay. My spankings are purely just that, a spanking which includes be scolding like a little boy, having my pants and underpants pulled down, always otk, always corner time. I dreamed as a child of finding such a woman, I have, I'm happy, content, this works for me.

Our Bottoms Burn said...

If only one choice, then definitely B.

If more than one choice is allowed, then also F and H.

Country Spanker said...

Can I have E,F & H please.

Darren said...

Statement f sums it up for our consensual spanking relationship. Spanking without sex? As my my lovely, long suffering (but not too much...) wife and spankee J says succinctly: 'What would be the bloody point?'

Simon said...

H, but I'm not sure about the completely. I enjoy spanking without sex and I enjoy sex without spanking but combining the two is fantastic.

Anonymous said...

I would answer C. I am aroused in my fantasies by spanking, but when I am being spanked I am totally focused on processing the pain of the smacks.

Hermione said...

I would have to choose B, as my body always responds to a spanking in a sexual way. F and H are natural corollaries.

Anonymous said...

I would definitely choose E. If I'm receiving maintenance or --GASP-- a punishment spanking, it's anything but sexual. I do enjoy a good, square smack on my bum during foreplay or when engaged in a serious session though. ;)

sixofthebest said...

Bonnie. Letters, f, and h, I would pick. Spanking a lady on the bare bottom, is sexually erotic turn on for me.

abby williams said...

We are through and through H, spanking and sex are completely intertwined. I am also by nature a storyteller, so even when I have not necessarily wanted a spanking, I have described a spanking fantasy to Mr. W during sex. The <a herf=">professor fantasy</a> I wrote about recently was first a story I'd dreamed up on my own, then one I told him as we progressed from foreplay to sex, through to orgasm.

We very rarely end a spanking without sex. Mr. W is sadistic, but not <i>that</i> sadistic. In our home, spankings are not for punishment, they are the hottest form of foreplay imaginable for us both. Whether we're enacting a scenario (the apple thief story), embracing a challenge (last weekend), or just enjoying how our fetishes fit together, we know that what we do is for each other, mentally, emotionally, and physically. We even discussed how this weekend, we need to do both a spanking session for the blog as well as have playtime for just us, because this is who we are.

We met working together at Barnes and Noble, and if you want to know what those customer service reps are doing while they wait for your questions about where to find the latest bestseller (it's always at the front of the store), here it is: we're talking about what our fetishes are, how we discovered them, where we want to take them, and who we want to explore them with. Ten years ago, this month, Mr. W and I discovered that we both like spanking, that he's the top and I'm the bottom, and that we were bound to be married someday, even though it took a few more years and relationships to make it happen. Now, as we approach our sixth wedding anniversary, I can say for certain: we are H. Our core desires are spanking and each other.

abby williams said...

Oops, just discovered html doesn't work in my comment. Bonnie, if nothing else, in your round-up can you please include the italicized "that" in "Mr. W is sadistic, but not *that* sadistic"? Just to emphasize, he wouldn't leave me waiting and wanting for more!


Anonymous said...

F & H. no question, S & D.

Mixie said...

Once again, Yum-O food posted. I keep thinking I maybe pregnant, cause that looks amazing and...ravishing? LOL

Anywho, to chime in: I am one of these girls who gets aroused by spanking, turned on. Case in point: before I started DD I thought my hormones would not let me become physically turned on. That changed quickly.

However, as we have become more mature in our DD relationship, the discipline spankings do not turn me on. I am heavy with guilt, and the paddle is uh-painful.

I'm not one of those who is afraid of spankings, but the emotions of a discipline spanking keep me from wanting to break the rules. I guess that is what makes me needing to be disciplined.

B, E, F. G, and some degrees and depends on situation.:)

*Runs off to the kitchen, er ma gerd. I need Paula Deen and a fryer asap.:)

lunaKM said...

E for sure, if only one answer is really allowed. But all of them could have their place in KM and my M/s relationship honestly.

abby said...

Mostly e..but quite a few of the others also.

Anonymous said...

I would say both sexual and non-sexual based on the situation. During a punishment I am in NO way thinking about sex. A lot of times afterwards though, when we reconnect sex is the BEST EVER.

I also enjoy playful spankings during foreplay and will just about come unglued ;)

Hobbes said...

f and h. The hotter the spanking the hotter the sex. And after four decades of practice we have become very, very good at this. . . .:-)))))

Anonymous said...

For me it would be h. They are completely intertwined.

Make Mine Red

Jenny said...

a) Spanking and sexuality are quite separate. - No.
b) I can't help that my body responds to spanking in a sexual way. -
c) I am more aroused by the concept of spanking than the reality. - I am aroused by both, but sometimes when I am being spanked I think I'd prefer the fantasy. ;)
d) Spanking is a turn-on, but not while it's actually happening. - It is a turn-on when it is happening.
e) Spanking can be sexual or non-sexual based upon the situation. - Spanking in a bf/gf or husband/wife situation is always sexual for me.
f) Spanking is excellent foreplay. - Yes!!
g) Spanking is painful punishment and that's a turn-on. - Yes [sheepishly]
Yes - h) Spanking and sex are completely intertwined

I'd say "g" and "h" are closest for me.
g) Punishment is a turn-on for me. I love being told, "You're going to get a spanking for that. Pull down your pants." Spanking without punishment is fun, too, but in a different, less intense way. The power exchange and control of a punishment spanking is thrilling.
h) Spanking and sex are completely intwined. Yes!! A fantasy spanking is a turn-on and a real spanking turns me on, too. Punishment and erotic spankings are both incredible turn-ons. I have not yet regretted one spanking. I don't know if I am always happy when the spanks are landing, but I always like it just before and after!! (I have asked for one tonight and tomorrow night. They will be punishments for mild disrespectful behavior. I have asked him to spank until I show physical signs of trying to move away or kick my legs. I don't usually do either.)

Anonymous said...

F and H for me; foreplay sometimes, and completely intertwined at all times.
Jean Marie

Anastasia Vitsky said...

There is a difference between sensuous and sexual. Spanking can be incredibly intimate, loving, and sensuous..but that does not always mean, by default, that it must be sexual. In fact, sometimes when the sex element is removed the tenderness and intimacy is even stronger.

George K said...

D for sure. Although I know for certain that I am not pregnant, I totally agree with Mixie that the food looks really delicious :-)

SirQsmlb said...

B: I can't help that my body responds to spanking in a sexual way

There are times where I am receiving a spanking and am working so hard on processing the impacts and yet, I'm wet. I don't know where that came from or how it got there...but - wa-la!!

F: Spanking is excellent foreplay

Consequently, frequently:
H: Spanking and sex are completely intertwined

However: Sometimes
E: Spanking can be sexual or non-sexual based upon the situation
Depending on how hard and with what implements and the situation...i.e. if I'm in trouble

Bea said...

A I'm too scared. Submission, on the other hand, I find very sexy. If I could learn to submit without spankings I'd be the happiest woman alive.

Anonymous said...

It would appear most of us are on the same page B, F, H. If she mentions spanking me, I get erect and ask where, what positi9on and which implements. Spanking and sex are like chocolate and peanutbutter.

Roz said...

Hi Bonnie, I'd say B for us because we practice erotic spanking, punishment and role affirmation. Erotic and RA can be sexual, whereas there is never any sexual element to a punishment spanking.

I also have to agree with Ana regarding spanking being sensual but not sexual.


ronnie said...

B, F and H for me.


CurtisG said...

B, E, F and H. Spanking is always a turn-on, but it can be such with non-sexual play.

Terpsichore said...

I find spankings both sensual as well as sexually arousing. I would say for certain B. I think I would enjoy spanking on its own for the sensory and intimate connection and I also like making love without spanking...though certainly spanking is deeply connected with my sexuality and pleasure.

Loki_Darksong said...

For me spankings are...

d. Spanking is a turn-on, but not while it's actually happening
(This is me when I bottom. I do enjoy very intense spankings, but not while it is going on. I am more focused on getting through what is happening without wimping out and embarrassing myself, especially if it is in front of others.)

e. Spanking can be sexual or non-sexual based upon the situation
(This is true. A lot of what is wrong with the scene today is that people are believing that a spanking must end up with some form of sexplay. There are many times where that would be inappropriate, and in some cases a legal issue.)

f. Spanking is excellent foreplay
(Yes it is! I enjoy giving my wife spankings. I enjoy getting spankings from my wife. And we both enjoy what it does to her and what we do afterwards!)

g. Spanking is painful punishment and that's a turn-on
(Yes. There is something very...enticing about facing and then enduring a punishment styled spanking session. You know that it will be painful, but there in lay the charm. It is an ordeal that you feel the most satisfaction for having gone through it. And that in itself is a big turn on!)

Anonymous said...

I think B, E and F pretty much describe me.

bob said...

The ones that describe me is b e f and h


Jackie Berlant said...

Hard to choose. I'd say D. The concept of punishment and the threat of it is what does it for me. I love being bratty. Sir doesn't care for it a bit so I'm kind of always in trouble. He gets turned n when he paddles or canes me. It just hurts butttt then I get wet also. Always happy when its over. I used to ask for a nice gentle spanking but Sir doesn't have the word gentle in his vocabulary so I stopped asking cause my behind is always bruised and marked. I do love my marks.

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