What advice would you offer to a couple who seeks to engage in spanking and related activities despite the presence of children in the house?
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18 comments :
Have a good lock on the door, and I have used the bristle side of a hairbrush. It is quiet.
John and I do not have children, all though we do have Nikki so I think that counts. lol What we did when she was younger is wait until she went to school or was outside. It is kind of hard to be quiet. Or, it is for me! As she got older we taught her about the lifestyle. Come to find out, she knew all along! So at that point, we would just go to the punishment room. However, John did start spanking me in front of her as well. Usually not a big punishment, just a quick spanking. I know this is different than those of you with young children. John and I have discussed this in the past though and both agree that we would just be honest with the kids from the very beginning. That way there is no need to hide it.
We wait until kid goes to bed and then there are three closed doors between kid's room and ours. I still have to be quiet so sometimes he orders my silence, or gags me, or muffles with a pillow. We also take advantage of play dates and sleepovers. The minute kid leaves for any length of time, we practically sprint for the bedroom. Sometimes this is difficult because it can be weeks between really hardcore sessions ... but it's also fun, sorta like trying to make out in high school with parents in the other room. It is definitely playful. We also move our fun to the basement so with two floors between us we can make a bit more noise.
Most spankings are carried out at night once our little one is asleep or while she's out of the house. If there is a need to spank while she's here and awake, we get her busy with something on the opposite end of the house, lock the bedroom door, turn on the TV to muffle any noise and use quiet implements.
We usually wait until the little ones are asleep. We have a sound resistant door to our bedroom so if it needs to happen during the day we just have them play on the other side of the house, turn the TV up and lock the door.
We usually wait until the children are asleep. At the moment this works and they sleep rather soundly and no noise seems to bother them. However, I imagine that as they get older and begin to stay up later this may become more challenging. Then we will develop new strategies and try to find time to connect while the children are out of the house or when they are preoccupied downstairs with the music on loud. My best advice would be however you do it, just do it - find that time to connect and spank whenever you can. :-)
Best wishes, Terpsichore
All of the above advice is excellent. My two-cents-worth is that their presence adds another layer to the fun. When my lover had weekend custody of his kids, he'd often spank me extra hard on my moistened bottom with a wickedly thin wooden ruler, and it was my job to absorb the punishment silently.
Early morning maintenance. Sigh.
Well maintanance and R/a or anything that can wait, is done at night when they're sleeping.
If punishment, and I've really pushed his buttons, he sets up the tv for the kids and I'm marched upstairs with doors locked :(
All of the above plus a few additional thoughts:
Spur of the moment spankings go on hiatus - spontaneity will require planing from now on!
Test implements beforehand and select the quietest - hairbrush loud, cane quiet etc
Arrange spanking dates for when kids are at school/friends/grandparents - the anticipation adds a frisson to proceedings
If the budget will stretch to it, book the occasional hotel/motel spanking night away - if only for a change of scenery and furniture
Don't be embarrassed or furtive, but do bolt the bedroom door - kids have to learn about private time and space. If the worst happens and you get caught simply explain you were playing, don't make it big deal about it, there's no need for a more complex explanation (caution, may not work with teenagers, but they'll be so grossed out as to never mention it again anyway.
(1) Scheduling - plan spanking for when younger children are certain to be fully asleep or when older teens are out of the house. Also, early morning is a time when teens will be dead asleep and you can be spanked without them hearing.
(2) Insulation - make master bedroom or basement more soundproof
(3) Distractors - turn on loud music
(4) Muffle - use a pillow to muffle the inevitable screams that will escape
Let me reword this. I was in a hurry when I wrote my comment above.
Here are the strategies I would recommend:
(1) Schedule - plan spanking for when younger children are certain to be fully asleep or when older teens are out of the house. Take advantage of early mornings when teens will typically be dead asleep and not hear a spanking.
(2) Insulate - make master bedroom or basement more soundproof
(3) Distract - turn on loud music that you both like. Loud TV can be annoying. Rock-n-roll recommended. Maybe some Guns N' Roses. Fill the bathtub and run the whirlpool for more noise.
(4) Muffle - use a pillow to muffle the inevitable moans and screams that you need to make in order to deal with the pain of a well-places spank.
I don't know about sharing this lifestyle with my children. I guess that works for some families, but it would not work for us. If we were a family that had used disciplinary spankings, we might have exposed them to seeing me spanked occasionally, too, to model how anyone - even an adult - should take a spanking respectfully, but that was not our style. If you try to share the lifestyle with your children, I would be very careful about how you do it. This is one time when my bottom would not be bare!
Ah this for me can be the most frustrating of times. The most obvious ways are waiting until the kids are in bed/sleeping. Using quiet implements like the cane or LJ {{shudder}} and taking advantage of any free time while the kids are out or at school!
There is the use of the dreaded capsaicin cream, but trust me, this would be a last resort :)
Thanks to everyone for giving their thoughts to a topic I kicked off. As Dee said, this stage is a frustrating time. Waiting until kids were in bed worked for several years, but they have reached an age where they often stay up later than we do.
We are with Jenny on the issue of sharing this lifestyle with the kids. Maybe this is just my macho talking, but I think letting the kids in on the lifestyle is even more difficult when the relationship is of the F/m domestic discipline variety. In addition to the usual gross out factor at the thought that your parents have sex, with F/m the would have to deal with some pretty complicated issues around gender roles. On the other hand, I have raised the question with Anne as to whether the example of an "in charge" female head of the household would really be such a bad thing. And, this entire conversation assumes they do not already know, which they very well might, given our multi-year experiment, thin walls and lots of opportunities to overhear us discussing things.
I don't have children to worry about, but I think alone time for any couple is important. Try to send the kids away to a friend's place or a family member who will watch them for an afternoon/evening. Then enjoy some time for reconnection with each other for spanking and everything else. The kids would probably love a chance to get away from you too. Lol.
Quiet implements and a good lock on the door, are the two most important things to have when there are children in the house. Honestly, the quieter implements are some of the most painful.
We raised two and spanked all the time they were still at home without [so far as we know] detection or problems. The quietest and most effective are a switch and rubber hose though both should be used carefully. Always lock doors, always take advantage of absences, and they actually are out of the house more when they are older. Teens are gone most of the time so things improve when they get to high school. And they have NO interest in their parents views or activities at all by then.
this is one of THE most frustrating things for a DD couple I think...lack of privacy for whatever reason. We usually wait until the kids are in bed...one is under 10 and sleeps like the dead but the other one is a teenager and doesnt sleep so its difficult. Thats how we came about the cane as an implement - its quiet. But now, we have managed to find our own space...the shed. We nip out there on maintenance night. Ususally immedicate consequences are a few swats in the kitchen or a quick run up the stairs and 5 or 6 with whatever comes to hand quickly...those times the kids are too busy occupied doing their own thing to wonder what we are doing. But usually, i write all stuff down in my book and we wait until sunday night in the shed.
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