Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Feb 17

Our topic for the week was arranging for spanking when there are children in the house. Here are your insights and suggestions.

Anon #1: Have a good lock on the door, and I have used the bristle side of a hairbrush. It is quiet.

Breanna Hayse: John and I do not have children, all though we do have Nikki, so I think that counts. LOL

What we did when she was younger is wait until she went to school or was outside. It is kind of hard to be quiet. Or, it is for me! As she got older, we taught her about the lifestyle. Come to find out, she knew all along! So at that point, we would just go to the punishment room. However, John did start spanking me in front of her as well. It was usually not a big punishment, just a quick spanking. I know this is different than those of you with young children. John and I have discussed this in the past though and both agree that we would just be honest with the kids from the very beginning. That way there is no need to hide it.

Sublime Wifey: We wait until kid goes to bed and then there are three closed doors between kid's room and ours. I still have to be quiet so sometimes he orders my silence, or gags me, or muffles with a pillow. We also take advantage of play dates and sleepovers. The minute kid leaves for any length of time, we practically sprint for the bedroom. Sometimes this is difficult because it can be weeks between really hardcore sessions. But it's also fun, sorta like trying to make out in high school with parents in the other room. It is definitely playful. We also move our fun to the basement so with two floors between us we can make a bit more noise.

Dana: Most spankings are carried out at night once our little one is asleep or while she's out of the house. If there is a need to spank while she's here and awake, we get her busy with something on the opposite end of the house, lock the bedroom door, turn on the TV to muffle any noise and use quiet implements.

Tricia: We usually wait until the little ones are asleep. We have a sound resistant door to our bedroom so if it needs to happen during the day we just have them play on the other side of the house, turn the TV up and lock the door.

Terpsichore: We usually wait until the children are asleep. At the moment, this works and they sleep rather soundly and no noise seems to bother them. However, I imagine that as they get older and begin to stay up later this may become more challenging. Then we will develop new strategies and try to find time to connect while the children are out of the house or when they are preoccupied downstairs with the music on loud. My best advice would be how ever you do it, just do it. Find that time to connect and spank whenever you can. :-)

Anon #2: All of the above advice is excellent. My two-cents-worth is that their presence adds another layer to the fun. When my lover had weekend custody of his kids, he'd often spank me extra hard on my moistened bottom with a wickedly thin wooden ruler, and it was my job to absorb the punishment silently.

Bea: Early morning maintenance. Sigh.

Missy Jones: Maintanance and R/a or anything that can wait, is done at night when they're sleeping. If it's punishment, and I've really pushed his buttons, he sets up the TV for the kids and I'm marched upstairs with doors locked. :(

Darren: All of the above plus a few additional thoughts:

Spur of the moment spankings go on hiatus - spontaneity will require planing from now on!

Test implements beforehand and select the quietest - hairbrush loud, cane quiet, etc.

Arrange spanking dates for when kids are at school/friends/grandparents - the anticipation adds a frisson to proceedings

If the budget will stretch, book the occasional hotel/motel spanking night away - if only for a change of scenery and furniture

Don't be embarrassed or furtive, but do bolt the bedroom door - kids have to learn about private time and space. If the worst happens and you get caught simply explain you were playing, don't make it big deal about it, there's no need for a more complex explanation (caution, this may not work with teenagers, but they'll be so grossed out as to never mention it again anyway).

Jenny: Here are the strategies I would recommend:

(1) Schedule - Plan spanking for when younger children are certain to be fully asleep or when older teens are out of the house. Take advantage of early mornings when teens will typically be dead asleep and not hear a spanking.

(2) Insulate - Make master bedroom or basement more soundproof

(3) Distract - Turn on loud music that you both like. Loud TV can be annoying. Rock-n-roll recommended. Maybe some Guns N' Roses. Fill the bathtub and run the whirlpool for more noise.

(4) Muffle - Use a pillow to muffle the inevitable moans and screams that you need to make in order to deal with the pain of a well-placed spank.

I don't know about sharing this lifestyle with my children. I guess that works for some families, but it would not work for us. If we were a family that had used disciplinary spankings, we might have exposed them to seeing me spanked occasionally, too, to model how anyone - even an adult - should take a spanking respectfully, but that was not our style. If you try to share the lifestyle with your children, I would be very careful about how you do it. This is one time when my bottom would not be bare!

Dee: This, for me, can be the most frustrating of times. The most obvious ways are waiting until the kids are in bed/sleeping, using quiet implements like the cane or LJ {{shudder}}, and taking advantage of any free time while the kids are out or at school!

There is the use of the dreaded capsaicin cream. But trust me, this would be a last resort. :)

Reece Seever: Thanks to everyone for giving their thoughts to a topic I kicked off. As Dee said, this stage is a frustrating time. Waiting until kids were in bed worked for several years, but they have reached an age where they often stay up later than we do.

We are with Jenny on the issue of sharing this lifestyle with the kids. Maybe this is just my macho talking, but I think letting the kids in on the lifestyle is even more difficult when the relationship is of the F/m domestic discipline variety. In addition to the usual gross out factor at the thought that your parents have sex, with F/m they would have to deal with some pretty complicated issues around gender roles. On the other hand, I have raised the question with Anne as to whether the example of an "in charge" female head of the household would really be such a bad thing. And, this entire conversation assumes they do not already know, which they very well might, given our multi-year experiment, thin walls and lots of opportunities to overhear us discussing things.

Lea: I don't have children to worry about, but I think alone time for any couple is important. Try to send the kids away to a friend's place or a family member who will watch them for an afternoon/evening. Then enjoy some time for reconnection with each other for spanking and everything else. The kids would probably love a chance to get away from you too. LOL

BB: Quiet implements and a good lock on the door, are the two most important things to have when there are children in the house. Honestly, the quieter implements are some of the most painful.

Hobbes: We raised two and spanked all the time they were still at home without (so far as we know) detection or problems. The quietest and most effective implements are a switch and rubber hose, though both should be used carefully. Always lock doors. Always take advantage of absences, and they actually are out of the house more when they are older. Teens are gone most of the time, so things improve when they get to high school. And they have NO interest in their parents' views or activities at all by then.

Bonnie: In my mind, spanking is akin to sex. It's something that kids will learn about one day, but they shouldn't find out by catching their parents in the act. Certain safeguards are prudent, beginning with a securely locked door.

We employed most the strategies mentioned here. We waited until night time, school time, or outside activities time. As our daughter progressed in school, she was involved in more and more activities away from home. Transportation was a burden, but these activities gave us opportunities for adult “conversations.”

We also used “silent” implements, but as BB suggests, I have no great fondness for any of them. They might be quiet, but I probably wasn't.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and advice!