Monday, August 13, 2012

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Aug 12

The whole idea of an experiment is that you don't know in advance what is going to happen. So it was with this week's brunch. I proposed to try to ask questions of members of our community based upon requests from brunchers. I'd call it a partial success, but one that will require some retooling before we try it again. For the sake of brevity, the summary below is limited to the questions and answers (with a little bit of explanatory narrative where warranted).

morningstar sought to ask V.M. Johnson about her transition from slave to her prominent position in the leather community and what brought about the change?

I found an address for Ms Johnson and my e-mail did not bounce back. However, as of Monday evening, I haven't received a response. If I get an answer, I will definitely post it.

Six of the Best wanted to ask Dr. Gloria Brame whether religious beliefs should play or not play a part of someone's sexual fetish lifestyle.

I found a post on her site that I believe addresses her views on the question.

Bas asked about an update from our long time friends, Meow and Lash.

I sent an e-mail to the last address I had, but I have yet to receive a reply. If I do, I will post it here.

S + E had two questions for the DD Power Couple, Clint and Chelsea. The first was how manage to keep spanking completely away from sex.

Clint doesn't have a public e-mail, but he did discuss this question in considerable detail in this post.

They also asked for recommendations on starting a DD lifestyle.

I think this topic is the central theme of Clint's blog.

Jim asked how Abby from the Little Red Schoolhouse is doing.

As it turns out, Abby is doing quite well. She sent me the following update to share with MBS readers.

Strangely enough, this is the first time I've checked this [email] account in about four or five months. You or Jim must have sent some kind of psychic signal, because I woke up thinking that I ought to check all my old mail accounts.

I'm doing well, although clearly off the spanking scene. Mr. W and I are still very much married and doing our best to live happily ever after. We just celebrated our five year anniversary in May. I am still working at the same company I've been at since I moved to Oregon seven years ago, which, while not my dream job, does keep us living a comfortable life.

I took a yearlong turn going to church, doing volunteer work, and generally trying to sort out who I want to be. The church part didn't stick. I couldn't deal with the other people, which is more or less what happened with blogging, too. It came down to the fact that while I loved the exhibitionist side of what I was doing in the spankoverse, loved sharing my stories and hopefully making others similar to me more comfortable in their own skin, I had somehow lost the feeling of comfort in myself. I felt like I was playacting my marriage instead of actually living it, being a wife, being a woman. I felt like I was struggling to hold onto a girlhood that had passed me by, and like we, as a couple, were creating situations to write about or film, rather than the situations happening first. Life as Art turns out not to be a goal of mine. It's hard enough just figuring out the art of living life.

I haven't been writing very much, namely due to having no idea what I want to write about these days. I don't really want to write erotica anymore. It is too trendy now, and frankly the whole "Let's combine Twilight with Story of O and pretend this author wrote her own story" is nauseating. Every woman in my workplace is now reading fake S&M erotica and I'm left silently screaming. I'm thinking I want to go back to the little tales I wrote when I was younger, slices of life mixed with perhaps a little bit of the fantastic, something that reminds readers of the magic in the world, without getting too obsessive with world creation and unicorns (The one gal at work NOT reading the bad erotica really likes unicorns).

So, in short, nothing too exciting, but a little bit happier. My little dog keeps me laughing, Mr. W keeps me content, and I am doing a fairly decent job of keeping myself sane. I probably should swing back by your blog and perhaps a few others every now and again, just so I don't lose track of what makes me tick. Thank you for writing, and for passing along Jim's query. That really touched me, and I will have to remember to check this address more often.

We still love you, Abby!

S.N.M. asked me how many licks it takes until you get to the center of a chocolate tootsy roll pop.

The world may never know...

Ana asked me how it's possible to find new blogs so fast. Do people write to you? Do you actually visit all 500+ blogs to find new links? And what is an example of something you would find too graphic or offensive to be included in your blogroll?

Here's how I find blogs.

(a) Watch who links to me
(b) Watch who follows me
(c) Watch who leaves comments
(d) Observe who follows or comments on friends' blogs
(e) Observe who friends' blogs are linking
(f) Check the lifestyle bloggers forum on Fetlife for introductions
(g) Search on Google for blogs that use spanking related terms
(h) Search on Blogger, Wordpress, and Tumblr
(i) Sometimes, bloggers write to me and introduce themselves

I don't do all of these every week, but I work my way around eventually as time and energy permit.

I visit many blogs in my search for links, but I don't visit all 500 regularly.

You can read about my (evolving) guidelines for links here.

Here are six examples of blogs I consider too graphic or extreme to link (and no, I'm not going to provide the links):

(1) A BDSM photoblog featuring people being beaten until bloody
(2) Blogs that discuss scatological play (ick)
(3) Spanking stories that involve children or any other non-consensual situation
(4) Blogs where spanking is secondary to explicit depictions of sex
(5) Stories, real or fictional, where female characters are abused or exploited
(6) Male or female genital torture

I'm not suggesting that other people cannot or should not enjoy this content, only that it gets no links from me.

Ronnie asked whether I had ever seriously thought about or even started writing a book - vanilla or spanking related?

Actually, yes, I have considered writing a book. I am a journalist by trade and writing has always come naturally. When I watch the success of books like Fifty Shades, I wonder if I couldn't do better. However, between my job, my husband, the house, and this blog, I haven't a lot of spare time or energy. But it's possible.

On the other hand, one could argue that I've already written several books worth of articles and stories here on the blog.

Jim asked me why I am so beautiful.

Thank you. I'd like to think my appearance is as it is because I take good care of myself and try to do the right things in terms of diet, exercise, sleep, and so forth. My husband would probably tell you it's due to regular spankings. That may also be right.

Sublime Wifey asked a general question about spanko blogs. How much is real? How much is realistic? How much is fantasy?

I think your answer varies with where you look. If an author tells you a story is fiction, you can believe them. If a story is presented as factual, I am inclined to accept that, as long as the author and story seem credible.

As for actual proportions of fact and fiction, I don't have enough information to make an informed guess.

Prefectdt asked spankos originating from the UK the following question.

What do you think that T.E. Lawrence (AKA Lawrence of Arabia), the greatest UK spankee ever (IMHO) would think of the spankos of today.

I think at very least he might be surprised by the internet.

Lillie wondered at about what age do most people start [spanking] and similarly, what age do they stop?

Some people are interested in spanking from childhood. Others acquire the taste later in life. There are as many different stories as there are spanking enthusiasts.

I'm sure there is a practical limit beyond which spanking is no longer feasible or advisable. As with most life activities, this will depend upon the health and fitness of the participants. However, I know a number of spankos in their sixties and seventies.

Curtis G commented to Lillie that "people start at all ages. Most, like me, never stop."

Daisy thinks I should write a better book than 50 Shades. And, what does scat... No, it's OK, I just googled it... Ohh, YUKKKK!

She also wonders how in the world do I fit in all that 'searching for new blogs' stuff, into what, I am sure, is an incredibly busy life?

I'm pretty organized and make good use of my limited time. My other secret is that when I have trouble sleeping at night (as we women of a certain age sometimes do), I search for blogs.

Finally, Daisy wondered, on a scale of 1-10, how important to you are fellow spankoland bloggers? How much do you consider them friends?

I recall doing a whole brunch on that topic. Put me down for a nine. I share things here that my real world friends will never know (I hope).

Anon would like to know what MBS readers think of Fifty Shades.

That too would make a good brunch topic.

Thanks, everyone, for helping to test this new idea. I imagine we'll do it again in some form.


ronnie said...

You certainly could do better Bonnie. Thanks for answering.


Anonymous said...

My dear. I've only now discovered your blog, and I'm astounded at the number links and the quantity of good information for those folks looking to introduce spanking into their play time. It will take me hours -- perhaps days -- to find my way through every bit of information. But I consider that time well spent.

I also want to thank you for the link. Actually, that's how I found the blog. Much more to look at. I will speak with you more as I find more.

abby williams said...

Hi again Bonnie, and everybody,

I respond to pretty much everything with tears - joy, sorrow, excitement, fear, pain, confusion - all of it makes me cry. I just read through the whole brunch, and that I am still a part of such this world, even in my silence, does bring tears to my eyes. I feel humble, relieved, a little proud, a little ashamed that I'm not as much a part of this as I once was, but most of all, comforted. When I was small, I would wake in the middle of the night afraid that there was no one else in the world who was awake, that I was somehow very much alone (this being before my understanding of time zones, of course). Coming here is like waking in the middle of the night and hearing the sound of a TV in my parents' room, or my neighbor outside with her dog, or even the revving of a car engine down the street. These things, this blog, these wonderful people in this community, are reminders that I am not alone.

Thank you.


Bonnie said...

Ronnie - I appreciate your confidence in me!

Alice - Welcome! Please write me if I may be of service.

Abby - Come what may, you will always be a part of our community. We welcome you today and any day you choose to return. You need never feel alone. ((Hugs))

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