Our topic this week was waiting for a spanking. Here's what you said:
Sadey Quinn: Having to wait *totally* changes the experience. I can never get it out of my head and my imagination goes crazy wondering exactly how it will play out.
That said, there is also something to a spanking that happens right away, with no wait at all.
Both *strategies* are fun, in their own way.
James: I agree with Sadey on both accounts. I've been waiting almost two weeks since my Wife announced I was getting an attitude adjustment. It was supposed to happen two weeks ago today. But it has been postponed since then due to unexpected friends showing up and work matters.
There is always something to be said for anticipation, but spur of the moment spankings are always good for immediate transgressions.
Michael M: I get a thrill out of being told to expect a spanking at some time and date in the future, just so long as it is not too far away. I get to enjoy the scene in my head and the closer it gets to the appointed time, the more my stomach churns and my head goes into a fuzz.
Abby: Anticipation does add to a spanking. Once I know one is coming, I cannot put it out of my head.
Hermione: I love the anticipation when I am told in advance that there will be a spanking in the near future. I'm filled with a mixture of excitement, dread, and arousal. It makes the spanking all the more enjoyable when it finally happens.
Joeyred: When I am told of an impending spanking, it adds to the emotional experience of the spanking. I cannot get it out of my head at all, and as the event nears, it tends to dominate my thoughts.
Scunge: I HATE, HATE, HATE, waiting. I think it makes me even MORE snarky and that gets me in deeper trouble. Now if it is a fun spanking, well, then that's different. ;-)
Simon: Since I have to travel for two hours to meet my mistress, I have plenty of time to think. I find myself sitting on the train visualising my forthcoming punishment and wondering what's in store for me. It helps a boring train journey pass quickly, and that's always a good thing on a British train. Before I know it, I am getting off of the train in a state of great anticipation. Therefore, I think I can safely say that I enjoy knowing that in a while I am going to have a very sore bottom. Anticipation is a wonderful part of the whole day for me. The downside is that I have never received a surprise spanking/punishment and often wonder if that might be even more enjoyable.
Suffolk: Every Monday is a spanking day. During the week, corner times, punishment lines and quick smacks lead to a very hard and long spanking. Do I think about how bad Mondays are going to be? Yes, Monday is sore red day in our home.
Reece Seever: It's strange. Spankings for us are always punishment and always very hard to take, yet I get disappointed and even resentful if there is too long a delay between when I am told I will be getting one and when it actually happens. Hermione's observation regarding the mixture of excitement, dread and arousal holds true for me as well. But I always feel like it should not work that way, since in our relationship spankings are supposed to be for real discipline. Therefore, I SHOULD be experiencing only dread that one is coming and relief if it is delayed.
Dragon's Rose: The fun kind are always planned ahead. If there is a delay in punishment, it does bad things to my head. After just two delayed spankings, we both decided it was a VERY bad idea. If it can't happen within an hour, it doesn't happen at all.
Fondlers Anonymous: My spankings are never for punishment. We're just not set up that way. It's an incentive for me to keep my rules. I always get a spanking when we meet. I'm not sure whether that's maintenance (can you have that without punishment spankings?), but since I always know, NOTHING can stop me from thinking about it. It's exciting.
There's also a little thrill from not knowing what he intends to use or how many strokes even right up to the point when he actually begins. I can't decide which one I prefer...
Prefectdt: As I have no regular spanker and all of my spankings have to be pre-arranged, there is always a gap between knowing that it is going to happen and it happening, sometimes days and days. The thought of the upcoming spanking does not consume my every waking moment, but when I have time to think about it, the rest of the world can go away and not interrupt me. It's agonizing waiting for a spanking, but the anticipation is strangely exhilarating as well.
Daisy: Being 7000 miles apart, there is usually a wait of a year or more between spankings. Because this means I have (yet again) a "virgin bottom," he can't give me the punishment I deserve as it would be too harsh. A year's worth of punishments all in a week is impossible!
During the time we are together, I have found that the punishments that are immediate and swift don't give me time to get into the right mindset, although they do stop my shenanigans pretty swiftly!
Maintenance is always scheduled ahead, and yes, as Hermione said, it brings anticipation, apprehension, dread, excitement, sexual tension, and an inevitable tingling...
Julia: My last week has been almost like this. I feel anxious, and want to get to it.
Old Fashioned Girl: Anticipation makes it all so much more exciting for me. I'm particularly buzzed when I get a text when I'm out working that tells me that I've an attitude adjustment waiting for me.
Damsel: My husband and I are just discovering/exploring this dynamic to our marriage. He's always been the "Alpha male" and I have always enjoyed a good spanking, but we've only put the two together in practice recently. With that said, whenever he tells me that a spanking is coming (usually punctuated with a "love tap" spanking), I find that while I don't focus on it, it has a way of popping into my thoughts at the most inopportune moments. I hate the wait and love it, all at the same time.
Saoirse: I HATE knowing. And I love it too... the stomach in knots, the dread, the damp heat...
Make Mine Red: We don't do punishment spankings, only erotic. Anticipation is awesome and really adds to the experience. It stays in my head, gets me turned on, and keeps me that way! I wish he would promise in advance, but usually, he doesn't. We may have to work on that. :)
A-Non: I would love to hear, "You are getting a spanking tonight." Or even a stern, "We will 'discuss' this tonight." I am still breaking him into the world of spanking, so we haven't had much of that yet. We just got two new toys (wooden paddle and short cane), and he's willing to play, so maybe we will get to that point. We really don't argue and I only rarely need discipline, but I can imagine that when I come home agitated, he will use the paddle to adjust my attitude - either immediately or with an hour or so to anticipate. I would love either one.
Dragon Rose, maybe with time you will learn to accept a delay. Maybe you can stretch from an hour to 70 minutes, then 80, then 90, etc. I think you will eventually like the delay, even if you don't like it at the time.
He just expressed his displeasure that I let the remote control fall on the floor and then left it there for 15 or 20 minutes. I suggested a spanking later... Mmmmm...
S: I am often prescribed a good spanking, but also the date and time I am to get it, which can be as much as two days in advance. I know it is going to sting like hell, but D enjoys spanking me, and I strangely enough enjoy getting it.
To enhance the wait, I wear my tightest, thinnest skirts or trousers, which outline my bottom like a second skin, and even give him a quick flash of it as I take my bath on the evening before. I even have a dress, which D found in some kinky dress shop, which has an oval cut from the seat leaving my bare bottom protruding through it. As I go about the house, I take every opportunity to show off my bottom, by bending or stretching, or wiggling, and when I turn my back to D, I can feel his eyes glued to his chosen target, often revealed in my bottomless dress. When execution time arrives, he can't wait to get the hairbrush, nor I to plunge over his knee. My teasing pays off, and we both enjoy a great spanking. He loves it, and strangely, my poor bottom does too.
Ana: It depends upon who decides. If *D* tells me I will get a spanking later (always punishment for us), I am up in arms because it is so horrible to wait. If *I* ask to have a punishment later (usually when I say "can that please be tomorrow" and have a good reason), it feels like my honor is satisfied because at least I got to decide when it would happen. Then I don't mind waiting and use the time to prepare. When she says I must wait, though, I am edgy, nervous, unhappy, and most weirdly of all, angry and resentful if she says it will no longer happen.
But delayed spankings for us are quite rare, so it doesn't come up much.
Todd and Suzy: There almost always is a delay. Raising a child means someone is usually home. It was roommates before that, which was even worse. And then with a friend, there is distance involved, so no chance there. Waiting is the norm.
It does have an impact too. Some of it is a positive of sorts in that it builds the anticipation and butterflies. If you're talking more in terms of days or weeks instead of hours though, it can be a big negative. "What is this spanking for again?" really isn't what you want to focus on. It's the same if a spanking is being given for something that has occurred numerous times. "You will be getting a spanking for missing your bedtime" ...when we next meet. Then,that bedtime is missed several more times. It's much better if the spanking can be given then and there.
Not a lot can be done when a delay is necessary, but without question, it does become a negative if it's a long one.
Our Bottoms Burn: Almost all of our spankings are scheduled - in a hour, after lunch, in the morning, etc. We use the time in between to tweak one another about what is coming. Conversations about spanking can be quite erotic. Sometimes there will be a preview, a few pops. There's nothing like anticipation.
Lea: I hate delays! I'm very impatient and I think some tops do it on purpose just to get to me. LOL
An impending spanking stays on my mind the whole time up until the spanking happens.
Waiting can indeed change the spanking experience. Sometimes, It's worse than the physical punishment itself, when that's the purpose. All of the build-up adds to the anxiety of knowing what's to come.
Of course if it's a fun or sexually involved spanking, the build-up can make that all the more enjoyable when it does happen. :-)
DD: I almost always have to wait for a spanking, due to junior members of the household. Depending on the category of spanking, the anticipation can vary from good to bad to overwhelming. This is not helped by BBH emailing instructions as to how the spanking will be. I really don't like having to wait, but know we have no choice.
Spankings there and then are with a "quiet" implement and throw me into a submissive space far more quickly, as I have not had the time to think about them.
Bonnie: I'm not very patient. Randy knows this and uses this fact to his advantage. He employs several versions of the waiting game, the worst of which involves a break halfway through the spanking. He claims he wants to let the soreness sink in. Sink in it does. When he resumes, the sensations and emotions are even more intense.
I think having to wait and contemplate my fate definitely changes the experience for us. When a spanking session is hanging over my head (or more accurately, behind my bottom), I find it difficult to concentrate on anything else. By the time the spanking begins, I am already halfway into my spankee headspace.
Thanks, as always, to everyone who joined us for brunch! For those who just read, maybe next week will be a good time to let your voice be heard. In any case, we'll see you then...