Saturday, June 16, 2012

MBS Spanko Brunch #335

Hi everyone! I hope you're having a wonderful weekend. Every so often it's fun to learn a little bit more about the members of our community. That's our topic for this week. Of course, every MBS reader is welcome to respond.
  1. What is your relationship status?
  2. What role does spanking play in your life?
  3. How long have you been involved with adult spanking?
  4. What else would you like us to know about you?

As usual, I invite you to respond in the form of a comment. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will post an edited summary.


Ana said...

1. Crazy!
2. Helping me to conquer my personal demons and to achieve my personal and professional goals.
3. Let me think...8 years? Maybe?
4. That I may submit to discipline, but I am not weak. Just difficult. :)

Fondlers Anonymous said...

1-What is your relationship status?
I'm seeing someone (whom I've known 24 yrs) who is currently married. They have their own issues and there are children involved. So for now this is what it is. We got involved only 3 months ago...

2-What role does spanking play in your life?
I've always enjoyed erotic spanking. And currently have maintenance / grounding ones as well (when I get frazzled).

3-How long have you been involved with adult spanking?
On a regular basis with the necessary discussions etc - only 3 months (since I started this relationship). Prior it was always just a guest-appearance and even then the boyfriends who did it weren't quite serious about it. More like the perfunctory tap now and then.

4-What else would you like us to know about you?
That I'm confused and stumbling about and I wish I had more answers than questions about all this D/s stuff, but I'm soooo happy to be in a TTWD relationship!

Anonymous said...

married with an adult child. wife paddles me fairly regularly, as much as 5 times n 3 days to two weeks between. always sore and tender next day but able to sit. been paddled for 2 years, reviving an old intrest from 25+ years ago when i was paddled several times by 3 women. would like 2 attend a party or spanking group activity, my wife like randy, not intrested, am curious about bottom blistering paddling n front of others.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful topic, Bonnie! I was just thinking this morning that I'd love to have more of a sense of community with others in this lifestyle, so the personal questions are well timed.

(1) What is your relationship status?

Married for many years to the same woman.

(2) What role does spanking play in your life?

Spanking plays a prominent, if not always consistent role in my life, as part of a domestic discipline relationship in which my wife is the disciplinarian. In other words, she uses spankings to keep me in line and to develop her own sense of empowerment.

(3) How long have you been involved with adult spanking?

Probably longer than I think, but I believe it has been about 8 years. It has all been within the context of my marriage.

(4) What else would you like us to know about you?

Unlike Bonnie and a lot of the people who comment on this wonderful blog, we don't do spankings for erotic or play purposes. For us, spanking is a means to an end. Our spanking relationship began with me admitting that I needed help controlling my behavior and asking my wife to use spankings to help that happen. For me, getting spanked is not about wanting the pain (I don't), but needing to give up control in an act of real submission to another person.

PK said...

1. Twenty-nine years married to a vanilla with an open mind.

2. Not nearly enough to suit me. I get some sexy/erotic spankings, again not enough. I also get what he thinks are 'discipline' about diet and exercise, but they really aren't.

3. Six years, since I first found your site and got up the courage to ask Nick to spank me.

4. That this community has added a great deal to my life and I will be forever grateful.

Anonymous said...

1. I am married to a wonderful woman for 33 years.
2. Spanking is part of our foreplay during intimate moments.
3. My first adult spanking was fourteen months ago.
4. I have met many terrific people and made some of my best friends as a result of "being in the scene."

abby said...

1. I have a Master, who 10 years ago started out as someone I could trust to spank.

2. Most weeks I get spanked at least twice. We used all types of spankings, erotic, punishment, and just for fun!

3. My first adult spanking was from Master about 10 years ago.

4. At a time in my life when I thought I was settling in to...being "older"...a whole new world was opened up to me. Never give up!


Spankedhortic II said...

1/ Single

2/ It keeps me sane and stable, gives my life focus, aim and adds a lot of fun to the journey.

3/ First adult spanking 19. Age now 46. 27 years with a 3 year break at one point (damn, I missed my spanking silver jubilee).

4/Thousands of things that I cannot tell you and that I am really good at keeping my big fat mouth shut when discretion is required.


Daisychain said...

1) Married, but still living in separate countries, unfortunately.
2) Husband and I learning about this together; I brought it up early in our relationship...he wrote to Bonnie for advice, horrified, thinking I had some serious mental issues!!!!!!
We use spanking in a number of ways; for discipline, fun, erotic, maintenance, just because, and obviously these are all conducted in different ways. However, they are also put on hold for sometimes years at a time, until we can be together again!
3)I have had an interest since around 16. When I discussed it with hubby#1, we were both naive, there was no internet, and he never "got" it;
unfortunately there were times it fell into the abuse category.
By the time I met Davey, I had the internet and had been reading Bonnie's blog, and others. I had a better idea of what I wanted/needed, and a much better understanding of how to accurately communicate this to my wonderful man.
4) OTK is my LEAST favourite position!! And the cane is an absolute nono. We have agreed this.

sixofthebest said...

I've been interested in spanking for over 70 young years. Yes, 70.

Anonymous said...

1. Hangin' Around
2. It's an obsession
3. 15 years maybe
4. I'm alright

Bratty Adaline said...

2. Discipline and Release. I also enjoy it for strictly erotic purpose but we just started this so I am receiving more punishment ones atm.
3. I've always wanted to ask for it. MDK and I have been doing this for about a month and a half.
4. Just like reading and posting on like-minded blogs. :)

Anonymous said...

What is your relationship status? Married 12 years

What role does spanking play in your life? Honestly, it plays a big role in my mind - it has yet to become a bigger role in my life. But DH and I are working on that!

How long have you been involved with adult spanking? Involved as in the desire or involved as in real life? The desire and fantasies of spanking started with me about a year-and-a-half ago. In real life we've been involved with spanking for less than a year.

What else would you like us to know about you? I get punishment spankings because I read a lot! I spend too much money on Kindle books on spanking, DD, BDSM, etc.


playful little brat said...

Great topic.

1.) I have a dom and the relationship is purely spanko/friendship

2.) It plays an on and off role. I'd like it to play a bigger role and be more consistent, but it could be worse, so I can't complain.

3.) Hmm desires starting loooong time ago, but i've only been involved in the community for a couple years now.

4.) This has just been a great place to be able to express feelings and emotions about the topic of spanking, as well as get input from friends and see how there are SO many people who relate. :)

Respecting Mistress said...

1.What is your relationship status?
I'm a submissive male, and been living with a wonderful lady for the past seven years. We started exploring my cp fantasties early in our relations and she discovered her dominant side. two years ago we embarked on a full domestic discipline regime.

2.What role does spanking play in your life?
Purely discipline now

3.How long have you been involved with adult spanking?
About 20 years.

4.What else would you like us to know about you?
Blogging has been a great way to get in touch with like minded people to discuss DD and exchange ideas.

reneerose~closetgirl said...

1. Married. 18 years together (married 10)
2. Purely fun for now
3. In my head - all my life. For real - just sticking my toes in the water :)
4. I write spanking fiction, which has helped me "come out" with my need to be spanked

Jayden said...

1. Married to my BFF/soul mate/love of my life for soon to be 18 years. Have been together for almost 20. He is amazing for putting up with me! ;-)

2. Finally admitted a few years ago that spanking was a turn on. Engaged in light play periodically. We recently made some adjustments to our relationship & roles. We now have a DD marriage (M/f). Spanking is now a huge part of my life (@ least weekly). It serves to humble, teach & make me aware of my behavior. Spanking has brought us much closer & also serves as a HUGE stress reliever for us both. Of course, it still serves its erotic purposes as well! (I LOVE having spanking active in my life...can't u tell?!)

3. I've always known that I had a 'kink'. I was to scared to ever admit it. Spanking has only been a part of our lives for a couple of years. Only recently has spanking become a constant & 'normal' part of our life & routines.

4. I, (like many women in our community) am an educated, professional. I am a charge RN in a trauma operating room. I am smart, strong, strong willed & very accustom to being in control. I am a good, strong confident nurse & I don't take sh*t off of anyone. I am not easily (if ever) intimidated (@work). I am a leader & I like things my way. I am well liked & respected by surgeons, & most staff. We also have 5 children, so an abundantly busy homelife. This makes DD/TTWD/Spanking all the more important. Now I can separate my work persona from my home persona. I can relinquish control @ home With the knowledge that I have a wonderful, loving HoH/Top to depend on. This kind of security & comfort with my home life has made it easier for me to deal with all the stress of work & my position.
Why wouldn't people want spanking of some sort in their life? It is amazing on so many levels. ;-)


Rosie said...

1. I'm in the process right this moment of moving in with my boyfriend :-) In fact, I should be packing, but I've earned a break!

2.Spanking has been an interest for as long as I can remember, but now it is mostly stress relief, play, with a sprinkling of discipline with the man I love.

3. I've been into it literally my whole life, but I've only been spanked for about a year now.

4. Hmmm, not sure about this one... I'm bossy and confident and in-charge... except when he has something wooden in his hand!

david said...

Bonnie,we`ve been together 40yrs and only found out last year that we have a family we didn`t even know existed.Personally I was relived to find I was`nt the only one going otk and getting spanked every week,monday maintenance night other punishments carried out promtly.Sadly my better half isn`t so keen on others knowing so if I hear" have you been on that computor again"Iknow a sore bottom will be coming my to all Davetouchintoes

CurtisG said...

Relationship status is divorced since about five years ago.

With the exception of a 15-year hiatus, spanking has always had a major role in my life both actively and in my dreams. I'm not sure about the difference between "adult" spanking and spanking. For me it's been a continuum since I found out about my proclivities in the second grade and started playing in the seventh. I have always been a conceptual switch, but until college I was almost always a top. Then, my girlfriend for three of those college years decided she wanted to see what going the other way was like and we switched for the duration of our relationship. I have never been into spanking for discipline or punishment or anything beyond spanking and prefer OTK and the hand to anything else. All my spanking involvements have been for fun and play, sensuality, eroticism and as prelude, postlude or part of sex. My fifteen year hiatus was caused by my second wife (and the one I divorced five years ago) who played spanking games during two years of courtship, five years of living together and two years into our marriage when she announced she didn't like it. EWe had a child coming along and I hung in there for him until I finally decided I didn't want to be sexless for the rest of my life, answered an ad, had an absolutely wonderful four-year affair based on spanking which ultimately led to my divorce (which had other grounds beyond sexual deprivation). Since then, I've join groups, attended spanking play parties, and even have an annual one at my house, Looking for a relationship, but happy I have found a number of play partners. The space in between is too long for my taste (think I could play every day and perhap more than that). But it's better than a desert.

If it's relevant, I'm a self-employed professional with some prominence in my field, have a beautiful home in beautiful territory. Am a well preserved fossil and have a wonderful son. My interests are many and varied. Do gardening, biking, hiking, exercise and whitewater canoeing. Read, write, love political and philosophic discussion, love music (with particular partiality to classical, jazz, pop and folk), am a baseball nut and, as a graduate of UNC, am phanatic about college basketball.

Loki_Darksong said...

<1. What is your relationship status?>

I am about to celebrate my third year being married.

<2. What role does spanking play in your life?>
Many roles. Spanking has been for fun, art and foreplay, but recently I have begun branching out into using it along the lines of stress relief, punishment, discipline and such.

<3. How long have you been involved with adult spanking?>

I have been involved with this before the Spanking Community became their own entity. This October will mark my twenty-sixth year as an S/M'er and Spanker.

<4. What else would you like us to know about you?>

That would take a lot of time and space on this page. But I will say that I am a good person to know and have as a friend. And that I love to share knowledge with people. I tend to find the things that no one else notices.

Riley said...

1) What is your relationship status?
In a relationship with my boyfriend, Cael.

2) What role does spanking play in your life?
It used to be disciplinary, now it's more of an activity we both enjoy, it makes me feel submissive and it makes him feel like he's in charge.

3) How long have you been involved with adult spanking?
I was first spanked about 2.5 years ago, just for fun, a few swats. It wasn't until about 9 months ago that we got really into it.

4) What else would you like us to know about you?
I love this community and I'm very friendly...don't hesitate to say hello! :)

Hermione said...

Ron and I have been in a monogamous, committed relationship for nearly thirty years. Spanking began to play a part in our intimate activities about three years after we got together. For a long time it was strictly a part of our foreplay, but in the past few years we have enjoyed spanking just for fun too.

If anyone would like to know more about me, please visit my blog.

Julia said...

What is your relationship status? married
What role does spanking play in your life? Huge!
How long have you been involved with adult spanking? Less than a year.
What else would you like us to know about you? No, I am good.

T said...

What is your relationship status?
Married for 3 yrs. Been together a collective 6 yrs.

What role does spanking play in your life?
Punishment, play and foreplay. It makes us both feel good.

How long have you been involved with adult spanking? Almost 9 yrs.

What else would you like us to know about you? I am very open and am greatly enjoying the new friends I've met on here. We need to start a yearly convention. :)

SublimeWifey said...

What is your relationship status?
Married 17 years, together 7 years before that
What role does spanking play in your life?
Fun and foreplay
How long have you been involved with adult spanking?
For years my husband would get a few playful swats in during sex, but about a year ago we decided to take this to a new level when I asked him if we could try D/s. Our D/s dynamic is mostly restricted to the bedroom, but I'm hoping we'll push that a bit further this year. My husband wants to progress slowly.
What else would you like us to know about you?
I still struggle mentally with balancing my need to be controlled with my independent feminist self. I know that others have found peace in this balance, but I am still working it out.

Indy said...

1) I'm single. My regular spanking partner is a sub/switch, married to a dominant woman. Occasionally, she joins in the fun, too.

2) Spanking plays a number of roles in my life. Depending on the circumstances, it can be an expression of friendship, a way of exploring my fantasies and desires, or a substitute for sex. I'd eventually like to find a partner with whom sex and spanking are accompanying activities, but, ideally, I'd still play more casually with others.

3) A little over four years of real-life spanking play, with a couple years before that spent reading spanking stories and blogs, trying to come to terms with my spanking desires.

4) Most of my vanilla friends are amazed that I'm involved in anything sexually adventurous. I suppose I am, too. I'd always figured I wanted to restrict my sexual activity primarily to a loving, monogamous, heterosexual relationship. However, I must say that my time in the spanking community has opened my eyes to other possibilities. I often wonder if people use sex as idiosyncratically as we use spanking. Do we just talk about it less often because sex, unlike spanking, is seen as natural for everyone?

I value my friends in the spanking blogosphere a great deal. I've been lucky enough to meet most, but not all, of them in real life. I smile at their joys and triumphs, and I shed real tears at their sorrows. I hope everyone who comes here has had-- or will have-- a similar experience in that regard.

Our Bottoms Burn said...

Long term loving marriage
We are never without spanking
Adult spanking? hmmm, started spanking girls when I was 14, never stopped. I turned adult at some period. Started getting spanked when I was 19.
I try to led a life without regrets

A-Non said...

What is your relationship status?
I am recently divorced (within the last year) after many, many years of marriage. I am currently in a very good long-term relationship. He is willing to do some spanking, but usually I have to bring it up, though he does joke about giving me a spanking sometimes. He's used his hand, round leather paddle (with metal strip inside), and a wooden paddle (briefly only once - it's new). He does get aroused by all of the bottom play.

What role does spanking play in your life?
How long have you been involved with adult spanking?
Spanking is definitely the subject of all of my best fantasies. Real spanking was once only erotic hand spanks. Now I want to try to move to getting a "spanking I won't like" and even trying a little domestic discipline. My bf is willing, to a degree, but he just doesn't want to hurt me. I won't say he's a vanilla, because he has his own kinks, although those are probably more socially acceptable. (Let's just say that I could admit to participating in them without anyone in my age group being shocked. Spanking - now that is a different story!)

I've been aware of the fantasies for a long time, but I've only read blogs for the past five years or so. Reading and writing a blog are pretty much define all of my involvement with adult spanking.

What else would you like us to know about you?
I'd like to find someone else who (1) came to spanking from an erotic interest and some erotic spanking experiences, (2) later moved to using implements like a leather paddle, wooden paddle, or cane, perhaps for discipline, and (3) had a husband or boyfriend who was really not that into spanking or didn't want to see her in pain. I'd like to know what impact spanking had on your relationship. I am sort of wary of turning him into a tyrant if he ever starts to like it!

Also, I have written some spanking short stories! The stories are completely unpublished. They are not on the internet! I have let 3 or 4 men read the stories and they all loved them.

Anonymous said...

1.What is your relationship status? Married almost 30 yrs.
2.What role does spanking play in your life? Strictly as foreplay.
3.How long have you been involved with adult spanking? Have fantasized about it forever, but just got brave enough to ask for it about 2 yrs ago. Took awhile to get the husband to do it but he's pretty good at it now!
4.What else would you like us to know about you? I'm a lucky girl to have such a wonderful husband who will embrace something he was never really into just because I want it!

Make Mine Red

Miss Trixie said...

1.What is your relationship status?

Married, 14 years.

2.What role does spanking play in your life?

Err.. reverse discipline, maybe? :) I get spanked as a reward, and it always ends between the sheets.

I say 'reverse' discipline because I love everything about having my bottom reddened, and since I love it, well, it's not exactly a threat, is it? And I'm generally pretty well-behaved, so I get rewarded with a hard spanking when I've been very good, not very bad. If it were the other way around, I would just have to be bad all the time!

3.How long have you been involved with adult spanking?

About 6 months, backed by a 30-year-obsession

4.What else would you like us to know about you?

My husband is not a spanko, but he took to it like a duck to water, and I'm incredibly lucky to have a spanker I can trust utterly.

Ava Wayland said...

1. Engaged for 6 months. We have been together for about 4 years.

2. An interest. I have not been spanked yet, as me and my fiance are saving it for marriage. Domestic Discipline truly intrigues me...considering I've always been the innocent, structured type of girl. My fiance is a naturally dominant man and he's very open to the idea of being my disciplinarian.

3. I've known about it for the past few months after numerous times of web research and curiosity brought me to it. Officially 'involved?' Not quite :)

4. I am a software programmer, passionate about writing, and live in Pinecrest, California. I love the outdoors and so does my fiance. We spend a lot of time at the lake picnicking and hiking.

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