Saturday, July 30, 2011

MBS Spanko Brunch #289

Welcome, my friends, to our fifth and final brunch in the month of July. Our topic this week is the ability to detect spanking inclination in others, also known as spank-dar (or maybe it should be flaydar?).

Do you believe that some people can identify other spanking enthusiasts? Do you or anyone you know possess spank-dar? If so, how accurate do you think it is? Might some people be more susceptible to detection by spank-dar?

If you would like to share your thoughts about our topic, please enter your response as a comment. Once everyone has spoken, I will post an edited summary of our conversation.

22 comments :

Kitty said...

If I see a man grab a woman's bottom when I'm out and about then I wonder if he spanks her.

Kitty

Daisychain said...

I would think it would be easier to spot spankers than spankees. Men especially, if they are spankers, will be more likely to be eyeing up a spankable bottom than admiring boobs! I think a man who is - or is a potential- spanker, is likely to stay close to his lady, have a protective arm around her in public, and pat/fondle/rest his hand on her bottom...

I have never met (to my knowledge!) a male spankee/female spanker, so have no experience to draw on there!
Also, I would think a HOH is less likely to be able to hide his/her natural dominance/assertiveness/authority in public, than a spankee is to hide his/her submissive streak.
Great question! xxxxxx

joeyred51 said...

I attended a spanking weekend in April. For a month before the event, I chatted with many of the people who would be at the weekend. I often tried to visualize how the spankos would look. I arrived by car at the same time as a nice lady, met a couple in their sixties and a couple in their seventies. I asked if any of the people knew where the group was meeting only to find out that everyone I met for the past thirty minutes were spankos. As we introduced each other by our screen names, we laughed and sometimes hugged. Some people thought I was a rolly polly like the main character in My Cousin Vinny. (I am actually thin) Maybe I have no spank-dar because I would never have guessed any of the guests were spankos. What I found was a warm and friendly group of kindred spirits.
joey

Hermione said...

I can't say that I have spank-dar because spanking isn't a subject I ever discuss in person with anyone except Ron. On occasion I have my suspicions - I often wonder about certain people at work - but have no way of finding out whether my hunches are accurate or not.

sixofthebest said...

Some women display their bottoms most provocatively, when they are walking on the street. Some of these females, wear their dress, or skirt tightly. Some wiggle their derriere's from side to side. So I wonder if they may have an urge, for a 'good spanking', or am I wishfull thinking this.

LynLass said...

If I have a "spank-dar", it's malfunctioning. Occasionally I will see a guy playfully smack the female he's with who will then kind of blush, and I wonder.

However, there is at least one real life self- admitted sadist that I know whom I'd never suspect if I saw him on the street or in the office.

And the one play party I attended, I would never have guessed any of them...

Are there any repair people around?

Underling said...

Hi Bonnie.

I think it's very hard to spot fellow spanking enthusiasts if they don't make any kind of reference to it. I do have some (female) friends who mention it occasionally in a light-hearted way, and I'd like to think that hints at a deeper interest but I'd never make that assumption.

And I agree with those who say that a bottom fixation and a spanking interest tend to go hand in hand, but not always.

I'm convinced this is such a common kink that it's shared by at least some of the people I rub shoulders with on a daily basis. If I'm right, then the fact that I can't identify those people tells me that it's very hard to do!

Also, the few people I've met in real life whom I knew in advance to be spankos just seemed like everyone else to me.

By the way, I think 'flaydar' sounds a little severe - but all I have to offer is 'OTKdar'. ;)spot fellow spanking enthusiasts if they don't make any kind of reference to it. I do have some (female) friends who mention it occasionally in a light-hearted way, and I'd like to think that hints at a deeper interest but I'd never make that assumption.

And I agree with those who say that a bottom fixation and a spanking interest tend to go hand in hand, but not always.

I'm convinced this is such a common kink that it's shared by at least some of the people I rub shoulders with on a daily basis. If I'm right, then the fact that I can't identify those people tells me that it's very hard to do!

Also, the few people I've met in real life whom I knew in advance to be spankos just seemed like everyone else to me.

By the way, I think 'flaydar' sounds a little severe - but all I have to offer is 'OTKdar'. ;)Hi Bonnie.

I think it's very hard to spot fellow spanking enthusiasts if they don't make any kind of reference to it. I do have some (female) friends who mention it occasionally in a light-hearted way, and I'd like to think that hints at a deeper interest but I'd never make that assumption.

And I agree with those who say that a bottom fixation and a spanking interest tend to go hand in hand, but not always.

I'm convinced this is such a common kink that it's shared by at least some of the people I rub shoulders with on a daily basis. If I'm right, then the fact that I can't identify those people tells me that it's very hard to do!

Also, the few people I've met in real life whom I knew in advance to be spankos just seemed like everyone else to me.

By the way, I think 'flaydar' sounds a little severe - but all I have to offer is 'OTKdar'. ;)spot fellow spanking enthusiasts if they don't make any kind of reference to it. I do have some (female) friends who mention it occasionally in a light-hearted way, and I'd like to think that hints at a deeper interest but I'd never make that assumption.

And I agree with those who say that a bottom fixation and a spanking interest tend to go hand in hand, but not always.

I'm convinced this is such a common kink that it's shared by at least some of the people I rub shoulders with on a daily basis. If I'm right, then the fact that I can't identify those people tells me that it's very hard to do!

Also, the few people I've met in real life whom I knew in advance to be spankos just seemed like everyone else to me.

By the way, I think 'flaydar' sounds a little severe - but all I have to offer is 'OTKdar'. ;)

Underling said...

Um, I'd like to apologise for all the spurious duplication in my previous comment. Obviously a major malfunction somewhere. Let's hope it doesn't happen again, or I'll look doubly silly! :)

Michelle Carlyle said...

I have zero spankdar. However, I have had people admit to me that their lover likes to be spanked. And another friend referred to an implement at a barbecue as something fun to spank a lover with. HE turned to me and said, "You know, for spanking during sex." Like everyone did it. I, however, kept MUTE.

And ever since I started writing spanking fiction, I haven't had any of these instances happen. Weirdly enough.

But I've mentioned what I'm writing to several people and the reaction wasn't exactly positive. But I do wonder if I know people who read my work, but don't know that I write it. There must be secret spankos in my world, but damned if any of them have come forward. And I couldn't tell unless they told me.

Kady said...

I definitely don't have spankdar, but a dd friend and I were shopping one day and we decided to "look" for spanko men. I wondered what we were looking for, but I think I came the closest when I saw a man shopping at Bed, Bath & Beyond in the wooden kitchen utensil section. ;)

Kady

SPANKEDHORTIC II said...

I'm not a great believer in spankdar. It's a nice little fictitious word to use when writing but in real life, experience has proved that it does not exist. I wish that it did.

Prefectdt

Anonymous said...

I confess that I have absolutely no spank-dar, but fervently wish that I did. There is one woman I work with who deserves a good spanking in the worst way. If I had any inkling that she'd be receptive, I would push my fantasy of switching into reality, and put all that I've learned from being on the receiving end into what I'd do to her shapely rear end!
Jean Marie

Anon said...

Perhaps some people can detect others' interest in spanking, but I sure can't. I can't think of any friends that I honestly suspect are "into" this. However, judging by survey results, at least a few of my friends would likely be in the percentage who like it.

I have a friend who confided in me that another mutual friend was into "all that spanking stuff". LOL. I was thinking to myself, "If you only knew...."!!

JENNIE RJ said...

Growing up I was spanked, mostly quite gently, (too gently??); the spanker was my mom, who is loving, dominant and has a definite but feminine athleticism. Bottom (no pun) line:
One day on TV I saw a woman presenter who gave me a very strong feeling that she believed in spanking or who actually did spank; (in one capacity or another). She had the same general affect as my mom.

Subsequently, on this news/talk show the cast was chatting about how to discipline kids. This particular woman, in a very straightforward manner then said that there was nothing wrong with spanking your kids as long as it was done with love. My ears PERKED UP!. She then went into detail on how she questions the child on how many licks he/she deserves, why, etc. After the preliminaries are settled she then requests the offending child to bend over her knee and request the paddling. She then administers the spanking, allows the child to compose himself, etc and then she reiterates her love for him, and so on. SO, I'm guessing she is a spanko, at least somewhat like my mom. I say this because my mom, while fair in her spanking did relish the formalities of administering the spanking. I just felt that was so. And i didn't resent it, maybe because I did deserve it and was/am a definite spanko.

S.N.M. said...

In general, smart, offbeat people seem more likely than others to be kinky. If someone is creative, quirky, and a little unusual, they more often than not are interested in some kind of BDSM or painplay, either spanking or something else.

And yeah, if someone likes butts, there's a good chance s/he is a spanker.

bree512 said...

Do you believe that some people can identify other spanking enthusiasts? Do you or anyone you know possess spank-dar? If so, how accurate do you think it is?

I believe so. I am one of them. It is not a myth. Not that I can identify every single one of them, but I would say my percentage is about 75% correct. Obviously, there are some people that will not admit it to another person.

Yes, I have too much time on my hands to be trying to identify spankos and it is very distracting. Lol.

Might some people be more susceptible to detection by spank-dar?

Yes, of course. The people who playfully give their S/Os one or two swats on their bottom in public. The obvious Toppy threats overheard are also a dead give away. Keywords in a normal conversation tend to make the spanko detector bleep faster. The way one teases someone else.

People who tend to be exhibitionists are easy to read. People who are good at playing cards and have a poker face are the hardest to read. That also goes for people who are good actors.

Mostly for me, though. I tend to gravitate towards these people. It's more like a magnetic pull. So it might not be so much spankdar as it is being spanknetic.

Or maybe it's the electricity in the air around these people - spanktricity.

It might also have to do with pheromones in some way, but not sure about that - spankomones.

Just beware,though,it might just be the spanko twinkle in you eyes that gives you away. @v@ ;)

Rich Person said...

Maybe, but I have no such dar. Even if I did, what would I do with it? I don't think getting into a spanking relationship with anyone I see regularly in my vanilla life would be a good idea.

But it's fun to speculate. The city I'm in has a very lively downtown and there are people walking around all the time. I certainly couldn't count on both hands the number of times in a given day I think, "What would she look like over my knee?"

Lea said...

I don't think I have a spank-dar. Sure, I see everything with my spanko vision and may wonder to myself "is she... is he...?" but never very seriously. Is it possible someone in my everyday vanilla life is into it? Sure. But if they are anything like me they don't want to be outed for it so haven't dropped any obvious hints that would bring me to that conclusion. I doubt anyone in my vanilla life would guess that I'm a spanko.

I actually had an interesting interaction at work on Friday. It was the end of the day and one of my bosses was heading out to go home and said "What are you still doing here, young lady?" I kind of froze for a moment next to the fax machine and then laughed and said I was getting ready to head out myself. The "young lady" was quite out of place and not something he's said to me before. Does that make him a spanko? Probaby not, but I suppose anything is possible.

Anonymous said...

Finding a spanko bottom is not easy, and if one gets it wrong, and just invites it's owner to be spanked, or go ahead and spank it anyway you can be in big trouble !
The 'look' of a bottom is a clue; bottoms that have been regularly and soundly spanked, which conditions it's muscles, are firm pert and bouncy, of a good size, and often encased in very tight clothing, and very occasionally it is possible to see the ridges of a recent strapping or caning through the material.
You can spot a bottom that has just been spanked, by the care taken when she sits down or prefers to remain standing.
I think, don't take a chance; stick to spanking bottoms that belong to knows spankos.

Our Bottoms Burn said...

spank dar??? Where does this come from??

to give somebody a spanking -> dar a alguien una azotaina

ronnie said...

I love to people watch and take a guess on who could be into spanking but of course I never know if I was right or not and of course when I see someone give their partner a playful smack I wonder.

I don't have spank-dar.

Love,
Ronnie
xx

Anonymous said...

An interesting question for sure. Sometimes I think I have a pretty good idea, but unless I was to test it out by asking, I'd never really know for sure, would I. And even if I asked I still might not know because the person might not be willing to admit their interest to a total stranger or even to someone who knows them in a social context, so this will be a difficult trait to study.

I think that people with whom I have great personal chemistry will have a better than average chance of being spankos. That's my main test.

Karl Friedrich Gauss

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