Sunday, October 31, 2010

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 31

Our topic of the week was the effects our spanking interest has on the vanilla side of our lives. Here are your thoughts.

On Her Knee: There are small things such as not being able to walk through a hardware store or kitchen 'implement' aisle without having a whole new perspective on the merchandise. Perhaps the most obvious is trying to hide reactions to ANY spanking-related keyword that is overheard.

Another big difference now is how I look at other people. I've seen surveys that suggest that as much as 40% of the adult US population may engage in some sort of 'spanking related' activity. I wonder how many of the people with whom I interact are kindred spirits.

Sara: I think my interest in spanking has indeed effected my vanilla life. First, it led us to domestic discipline, which is different than generic spanking, and that has effected our whole marriage and family. Spanking has also made me more aware of male-female dynamics in general and specifically the dynamics of dominance and submission. It is everywhere around us and has effected my understanding of what makes men and women tick. I see things I never noticed before in the couples around me. Even with people at work, I feel it has made me more aware of our interactions and the power dynamics that exist.

Spank-A-Lot: Being in Singapore, even for me, spankings are largely kept under wraps. It does affect my vanilla life though. Sometimes, Freudian slips can be uncomfortable. I get weird looks from vanilla friends when I even mention the word spanking.

Tina: I think there is kind of an indirect effect which I find negative. I am generally a very open person. Keeping my spanking mojo and masochism secret is very hard for me. It has the effect that I try to avoid talking about all private things in order to avoid these things slipping my tongue.

Janet: Spanking affects our vanilla lifestyle in many ways. I completely agree with On Her Knee. The cooking utensil and bath aisles will NEVER look the same. All I see now are implements! Shopping has become quite interesting. We always seem to enter new stores looking for what could be used in our spanking side of life.

Then there's the relationship side. I never dreamed that spanking could lead to such openness, such intense conversations and such incredible love. It has also made us both look much deeper into ourselves and at our strengths and weaknesses.

I find myself looking at some people and thinking, "She needs a good spanking!" I also see friends who don't have strong marriages and I wish I could share with them the secret we all know in this blogosphere. A DD relationship can not only save a marriage, it makes the marriage stronger then ever.

I have learned more about myself and my husband in the two years that we have lived a DD life than I did in the previous 27 years. My friends and family comment that we have never seemed so happy. And we are!

Dana: I have found that I have a respect for other people in my vanilla life that I didn't have before being a spanked husband. Being disciplined regularly helps me to reset my clock and be a better person all around. And yes, many times when I encounter people and see bad behavior, I think how much they might benefit from a good spanking, both men and women. Also, the day after, when my bottom is still burning, I wonder whether anyone else has a bottom as sore as mine.

Make Mine Red: As others noticed, shopping is a whole new experience. I even found an implement in the school supply aisle in the form of a flexible ruler, quite by accident. I wasn't looking for that in particular, it just jumped out at me when I saw it, Boy, does it sting! At 97 cents, it was a great find. I also found lipstick named "make me pink" and "warm me up." As it turns out, I really like both colors, so they are now regulars for me. I wouldn't have noticed any of those things before.

Daisy: It has changed me because I am now accountable to someone, which checks me ,yet frees me. It is wonderful, yet awful. Exciting, yet scary. I love it, yet hate it. I hope that makes things clear... LOL

Hermione: I find that I listen more and talk less. I am always on the lookout for spanking references, images, and ideas that I can use on the blog, so I am more vigilant.

On the other hand, I am very cautious about what I say. I am always aware that the openness I enjoy in the blogosphere cannot carry over into real life. Therefore, I think before I speak to avoid saying something that might give the game away.

At one time, I was rather notorious for saying outrageous things to make people laugh. I have put that habit aside, knowing that I would bitterly regret saying anything about spanking to friends and colleagues, despite the momentary burst of attention it might give me.

Dr. Ken: I find myself growing less patient with the vanilla world and those I perceive to be "vanilla." I can't wait to get back in touch and get together with spanking friends.

The fact that I so seldom have a spanking outlet makes me restless...

I may on occasion let slip a spanking reference in a vanilla conversation just to test the waters and see if I get any unexpected reactions from someone. But for the most part, I keep the vanilla side of things separate from my spanko life.

Six of the Best: Thank you Bonnie, for all the delicious meals you have served us. The one I like best is the 'rump stake', especially yours that I would love to spank.

Anon: I have been what you would call a "lurker". I decided that it's time to come out of the closet. When I think about it, I consider this community my friends. Where better to get some insight than here?

Thank you, Bonnie and all the others, for the wonderful insights and answers to some of my questions in the past (as silent as they may have been, they were always answered from everyone's response). I don't really have a comment right now, but I do have some concerns. I guess I will wait for the subject to come up. Thanks again.

Thanks, Anon. We love new folks here and your comments are always welcome.

Anne: Like others, I find that I notice a lot more about the people around me. I wonder whether they are into TTWD. Sometimes, I look at girls and think they are "asking for it" (wearing pajamas to the office supply store, for example). I think it has added a level of fun for me, even in my vanilla world, because I think I've lightened up a bit.

A-Non: If I were in a real spanking/DD relationship (my 'dream' right now), I expect it would give me greater clarity and confidence in my vanilla life. I seek the security of knowing that someone at home is looking out for me, even when I am out doing my own thing (work, social, etc.). I like the boundaries. Without them, I tend to be a bit too open to do anything and a bit unfocused.

Prefectdt: Congratulations on 250 brunches.

Spanking effects my vanilla life in both positive and negative ways. Here are the two most prominent examples.

Positive - It brings a more balanced approach to my life and way of thinking and helps me to think through vanilla problems in a more effective way.

Negative - It takes a lot of my time and I often give a spanko appointment or commitment a higher priority than a vanilla one. Therefore, I miss some vanilla events that I would like to have attended.

Billy: Frankly, I would love it if my vanilla life shrunk and my spanko life just becomes my real life. My wife is taking over more and more, and my real discipline spankings are about to start. Also, we have made some real spanko friends, also wife-dominant, who I believe we may soon meet in person. Yes, my vanilla life is certainly being effected!

Bonnie: I think our lifestyle has caused me to be more open, more communicative, and more courageous in every aspect of my life. I open up to Randy because I have to. A paddling is very convincing. This experience has given me the strength (and the practice) to let me speak my mind in other contexts. I open up there because I want to.

Thanks to everyone who participated this week!

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