Sunday, August 15, 2010

MBS Spanko Brunch #239

Welcome back, my friends, to another weekend and a new celebration of spanking. This week, we will consider how spanking enthusiasts are perceived by the vanilla world and how that could potentially change.

Do you think public perception of consensual adult spanking would be improved if a well regarded celebrity voluntarily came out as a spanko? What if they said something like, "Sure, I love being spanked. So what? Lots of people do." Might some vanillas reconsider their views or would they simply dismiss the celebrity as a nut?

I'd like to hear what you think. To participate in our community brunch, enter your thoughts in the form of a comment below. Once everyone has spoken, I will post an edited summary of our conversation.


Anonymous said...


The Simple answer is " both " The world of Spankos would probably be opened up a bit , however there are alot of diehard vanilla's that would call him/her a nut!

Remember , several HAVE come out already

Dana Delaney Being My Favorite !

Naomi said...

I honestly don't think the world is as sensitive to adult spanking as they once were. I've come out to a lot of different people, and their reactions were surprising. Especially my mom! They all just sort of shrugged it off, or told me they didn't like to be spanked because they didn't like the pain.
I'm pretty sure if you polled everyone on whether or not they had ~tried~ spanking with a lover- the majority would say they have.


Hermione said...

Hi Bonnie,

Possibly, but I think it would depend on who that celebrity is. Several have come out - Carly Simon comes to mind - but I think it would have to be someone well-known to many people. Known world-wide or just in one country or on one continent? That might make a difference too. Perhaps a well-known politician or world leader might do the trick, although it might prevent his or her re-election.

A popular singer or movie or TV star coming out wouldn't have much impact if many people didn't recognize the name. It would depend who it was. (I admit I have no ideas who Dana Delaney is.)


Anonymous said...

There are people who disapprove of sex, period. There are people who still think masturbation is a sin. How can people who are so messed up about their own sexuality EVER be comfortable with any kind of kink?

The answer is, they won't be, regardless.

I think the best you can do is be a positive role model for others. By being open and unappologetic, you set an example about whatever others might feel needless shame in their own lives.

So, a kinky celebrity can be a positve role model in that way.

I think the entertainment industry itself has the biggest impact, as opposed to an individual. Shows like Mad Men, or Castle, that mention kink in a light way integrate the idea in the mainstream, and most people become inured to the shock or surprise value of something completely different.

The plushy episode of CSI comes to mind. I had no idea there was so much plushy sex going on. So now I'm more mentally prepared, thanks to TV, should I find a Spot the Dog costume in one of my friends' closets.

I might even squee and tell them how proud I am that they are unafraid to explore whatever frontiers their passion takes them.

Because I'm all about empowering someone.

Dioneo said...

Interesting question. I think it would negatively affect the celebrity's reputation more than it would positively affect acceptance of spanking. Well regarded or not, celebrities are still "strange" to most people. I think unaccepting people are more likely to change their mind if they learn that someone they know personally and have high regard for is a spanko.

Celine said...

The comments so far are really I read each one, my perspective changed slightly. ;) I think it might make the celebrity's die-hard fans slightly more open-minded about spanking, but other people might still disapprove or be indifferent either way.

Personally, I'm pretty open-minded about people's kinks and think everyone should do what they want with who they want in the bedroom, so long as it's consensual and between adults. That being said, if someone famous came on t.v. and started talking about their foot fetish or the dungeon in their basement, I'd kind of wonder why they felt the need to share such private details in a public forum, regardless of whatever kink they were into. Maybe that's just me, though. :) Celine

CurtisG said...

Thanks only in part to celebrities announcing their spanking preferences, it was become much more acceptable and mainstream. Among those who have admitted their liking for spanking or whose significant others have indicated that spanking is part of their lives are: Cary Grant, Jack Nicholson, Madonna, Carly Simon, Elizabeth Hurley, Corrine Calvet (if one is old enough to remember her). It's also made mainstream news (Fox recently), Village Voice and other semi-mainstream outlets. And the spanking community -- in terms of groups, blogs, parties, and personal interaction is huge. I think now it's a personal decision -- are you or are you not scared of what admission might mean in your life, among those whom you've come out with and in your self-image. For me, I don't advertise, but ever since Eve Howard's writings made me comfortable in my own skin about spanking, I don't hide. Nothing herein suggests that anyone has the right to out someone. But that's a different kettle of fish altogether.

Anonymous said...

I think it's pretty well accepted already and one more celebrity coming out with it won't make much difference. Those who don't accept it aren't going to be changed that easily.

Make Mine Red

Daisychain said...

Several people mentioned our love for spanking as a kink so I looked up its meaning in the dictionary.

KINKY - involving or given to unusual sexual behaviour
KINK - A quirk of character or behaviour
QUIRK - a peculiar aspect of a person's character or behaviour

I know only that for me, it is a way of life...and in our community, which seems so vast, it doesn't feel unusual or peculiar...

It just seems to be unaccepted because it is often misunderstood. I think many people, when they hear the words DD or spanking, envision the extreme world of violence, abuse, BDSM, degradation, brainwashing, and intimidation .... and are too embarrassed, shocked or disgusted to inquire further. They therefore don't find out what it is really about, and imagine they would hate it, and why on earth is Fred/Freda doing getting involved in that seedy world?
I think there are many reasons why people still find it an unacceptable practice; not least unresolved fears from childhood, or concerns it is connected to child abuse/paedophilia; maybe some highly respected documentary on the subject could educate the masses, but the odd celeb coming out? No, people put that down as a publicity stunt, and expect celebs to be "into" weird stuff!!!!
Great subject! xxxxxxxxxx


I do not think that one personality coming out would make that much difference. As other commenters have noted already, it has happened in the past and after the initial hoo ah, things just went back to the way that they where before.

If many celebrities, politicians and other public figures synchronized a public coming out then the story could possibly be very different and although it would most likely be a difficult time for those involved and the rest of us, at the time, in the long run it is a thing that might help us all.


ronnie said...

Bonnie hi,

Personally I don't think vanillas in general would re-consider their views unless a whole bunch of mass popular celebrities came out.


sixofthebest said...

If the President of the United States would come out of the closet and say I spank Michele, now and then, maybe it would be of help to the 'spanking community'.

Anonymous said...

With the President's problems with Gulf oil and jobs and the economy, his declaration might not help our cause. Sarah Silverman just came out on David Letterman confessing in a story about a conversation with her mom that her "butt was red because she liked getting spanked." We've had Madonna and many others say as much. What it'll take is each one of us common folk stating in quiet conversations to friends that we're spankos and stimulated that way and proud of it.

Alice said...

I think as far as the younger generation goes, lots of different kinks are accepted as fun and exciting. Everytime I open a Cosmogirl and read the list of 101 ways to spice up your sex life or something similar there is always something about spanking or light bondage. I think most within 5 years of my age (24) either way are pretty open to trying new things or being accepting of others kinks. It does help when well known celebrities talk about their kinks (Sarah Silverman comes to mind).

Alice said...

One other thing I thought of is that stores, like Hot Topic and Spencers, which are frequented by teenagers as young as 13 and adults sometimes as old as 40 are very promotive (is that a word) of kink in general as it pertains to sex.

Anonymous said...


Hermoine doesnt know who Dana Delany is ???

Thats it someone spank her " lol "

Bonnie said...

I asked this question because I don't think I know the answer. I agree it would depend upon who the celebrity was. Just as an example, if someone like, say, Mick Jagger, came out as a spanko, most people would react, “Really? Is that all?”

What if, I wonder, someone of unquestioned stature like the late, great Walter Cronkite had said, “My wife and I enjoyed consensual spanking in the privacy of our bedroom for decades and it provided us with tremendous enjoyment.” Obviously, he never said anything like that, but I have to think his words could have been influential in places average spankos could never be heard.

Just thinking...

CurtisG said...

Re Daisy's comment which I agree with -- that some people hearing spanking think of more extreme activities. When I was in couples therapy precedent to separating from my wife, I discussed that one of our issues was spanking being at the core of my sexuality and that she had played along for about eight years -- courtship, living together and about two years intoour marriage when she proclaimed she didn't like it which was the beginning of a slippery 15-year slope downhill. It took about ten sessions before the therapist stopped referring to spanking as "beating," and began to get a grasp on the idea that for some, like me it would be playful and arousing rather than hurtful.

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