Sunday, May 09, 2010

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for May 9

Our topic for Mother's Day weekend was quite appropriately spanking during pregnancy. Here are your answers.

Prefectdt: I cannot see why a woman could not carry on spanking during pregnancy, I would still happily be spanked by a pregnant woman.

Of course, as the pregnancy progresses, putting someone over her lap might prove difficult and swinging toys with a lot of upper body movement may not be possible any more, but using more arm based swings and having her bottom/sub bent over a piece of furniture should solve that problem. Practicing swinging toys from a seated position may be helpful for when standing for long periods of time is difficult.

A woman can also get her sub/bottom to practice the breathing techniques, used during childbirth, to see if they genuinely help one cope with pain, before the main event.

Salvia: I think spanking during pregnancy would need to be modified. Clearly, belly size is something to think about and of course any other health concerns such as lower back pain, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. If spanking is something a woman was doing before pregnancy, it shouldn't be too big of a deal, as her body would be conditioned. Maybe it's not such a good idea to take up spanking as a new hobby though. :) Lastly, being pregnant causes a lot of stress and maybe spanking would be a way to help with the mood swings. However, too much stress is bad, so maybe save those punishment-type spankings for after the baby comes. Happy Mother's Day to all you spanked/spanking moms out there!

Texringer: I'm much on the same page as the previous comments. Early on in the pregnancy, continuing established spanking routines should be no problem. But, as many things chance, spanking likely would need to be modified or curtailed, too.

Naomi: When I was pregnant with my son (he is two now), a lot of people in this spanking world told me that it was not a good idea. I took it with a grain of salt because, in my opinion, if your baby can withstand rough sex, it can withstand some bottom smacking. I was spanked with lots of different things, with a variety of intensity. I think a woman should always listen to her body. If it is telling her he needs to stop, she needs to express that.

Obviously, as you get larger, positioning can be complicated, but he usually had me on my hands and knees and my belly would rock. The baby would go to sleep in there.

Some people question the effects it can have on the baby as far as your distress goes, but generally we are not “distressed” during it. We may cry and feel pain, but really our endorphins are going and our stress is being relieved.

My son and my daughter were both very calm newborns and didn't act like stressed out babies at all. I personally think it is a great thing (if you are having a normal, healthy pregnancy). Some women who have to stop or go without a spanking for a while can get even more stressed than usual. I noticed it in myself at least. I think having to stop it completely and then having to remember to stay calm and happy can be hard.

If a spanking helps you emotionally, it can't be too bad for your baby.

Of course, you need to be careful about where your swats are landing, what you're using, and how hard you are using them.

Spank-A-Lot: I am of the opinion that spankings should be avoided if possible during pregnancies. However, as Naomi said, there are times when the lack of spankings could cause unnecessary emotional stress.

I guess it largely depends on the individual's physical well-being. If one is relatively weak or has had a history of miscarriages, then probably its best to wait at least until after the first trimester for the womb to stabilise.

Knowing oneself is most important at end of the day. I am sure a large majority continue to have sex despite being pregnant and thus it would not make logical sense to abstain from spanking totally. Though a little more attention could be paid to safety. Positions may have to change, especially as one's tummy increases in size. OTK and even bending over or lying face down may be an issue. I know a couple who found the diaper position to work well.

Thomas: I think the decision should ultimately depend upon what makes the one pregnant feel the most comfortable. If she's worried that spanking might do something wrong, then she will likely think about it too hard. However, the female body is build to act as a natural shock absorber to the womb, so I think that spanking generally shouldn't be a problem. The size of the belly will be a factor, as it is with all things. Later in pregnancy, it will become harder to find a position that is comfortable for her to be in long enough for a spanking to take place.

I would also likely steer clear of very intense sessions, as trauma still might affect the unborn fetus as its mother's body chemistry changes in response. I don't think that I'd administer any punishment sessions to a girl who I knew was pregnant. I've only known one pregnant spanko who I'd been playing with around the time that she realized that she was preggers. We chose to err on the side of caution and forgo spanking until the baby had been born and she'd had time to recuperate.

Elysia: I would not have labeled myself as a spanko when I was pregnant. But I do recall a very strong "need" during my second pregnancy. At that time, it didn't take much to help me along. Punishment type spankings were not in our repertoire, and we wouldn't have gone there. But as Naomi said, if it's OK to have sex, it's OK to spank, as long as it's not too intense. I would have gone crazy without it, but we never would have gone too far with it either. Salvia said it right. Moderation should be key. Relative health and whether the doctor said to take it easy should be taken into consideration, IMO.

Bonnie: From the moment when the home pregnancy test showed positive until the doctor gave us the postpartum green light, Randy refused to spank me. He was concerned for the baby's welfare and wanted to do everything in his power to protect her. I can't say his approach was a failure because she was (and remains) beautiful and healthy. However, the combination of runaway hormones and a sudden secession of spanking was very difficult for me. I wanted to jump out of my skin sometimes, but he kept reminding me that we were both sacrificing for our daughter.

I felt at the time, and still believe, that it would have been fine to spank with light whippy toys that work at the skin level. There were many times when I think even a moderate spanking would have provided tremendous relief. But we'll never know for certain.

Thanks to everyone who contributed this week!


Love4her said...

Sorry I'm late!

My wife was able to spank me just fine when she was pregnant.... Not really we don'e even spank.. wish we did.

As to pregnant women..

1. pregnant women, as a group, are among those most abused, even killed by a partner. Your body will be subject to marks from spanking and you do not always know when you may need to see your DR. for issues related to your pregnancy beyond the scheduled visits. You may want to have some ideas of what you will tell them if they find brusies during a visit. They would naturally be concerned about abuse.

The Marine's Wife said...

Oh, I totally missed this one! I just posted a little blurb on my last pregnant spanking and how seriously *wonderful* it was. Even the hard smacks offered something more than any other spanking I've had before, and that was relief to my aching hips and legs. I guess we can thank the ripple effect? At any rate, this is the first of my three pregnancies where we've actually enjoyed spanking, and I think I'm craving hard, punishment-like spankings much more now than I ever have! I would think that, for me, ignoring the need would be worse than a harsh paddling, but that's just me.

Anonymous said...

In the past, I have lectured on the effect of stress on a fetus. I don't recall all the details, but it is better for the mother to avoid stress as much as possible during pregnancy for the future health of her child. And I'm not just talking about a healthy "baby". I'm talking about a healthy future adult. Stress levels in utero predict certain later health problems. So, I would recommend against spanking an expectant mom.

As for the idea that spanking itself acts as a stress relief, that may well be the case, but it seems that a spanking also increases the level of stress hormones over the short term (during the spanking). I don't have any research on this, but any form of pain increases cortisol levels. Based on that, I would suggest alternate means of stress relief, particularly more frequent sex, daytime naps, massages, warm baths (if allowed by doc), and more nighttime sleep.

Finally, babies hear noises from the womb, so the mother's moans and groans will be heard by the fetus after ears develop in the second trimester. No need to expose the baby to those sounds, or the sounds of things like vibrators and sex toys.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry I missed this one. I 'came out' to my husband during my 3rd pregnancy. For some reason (probally hormones) My fantasies weren't cutting it anymore and I just couldn't go one more second without a real spanking. So we played during that pregnancy up until around 8 months. Anyway baby is now almost 1 and we have only played twice since his birth so it has been slow getting back into it. I am so ready now and think my husband is too. After 3 kids we pretty much subscribe to the phylosophy that the baby is pretty well protected in mama's tummy. Baby seems fine but he does like to bang on stuff seems to love his little drum ;). Connection???

Christi @ Beautiful Trust and Submission said...

I am currently 6 months pregnant, and recently had my first ever spanking session. A combination of normal stress and the pregnancy hormones was causing a worsening depression, which nothing seemed to help. I didn't want to get on an anti-depressant because I am trying to avoid unnecessary medications, so I turned to a very good friend to help with my stress relief. She has been very involved with a lot of spankings and was very cautious about not leaving deep bruising, just as a precaution.
The session helped so much, I was shocked. The belly did take a tiny bit of arranging to work around, but all in all, I know the baby is doing better now because I am doing better.
Ultimately, I think the benefits in my case far outweighed any reservations I had. Then again, if I had been anxious, or if my husband has been uncomfortable, I would not have done any kind of spanking at all, just to be safe. It isn't worth the worry if you aren't comfortable with it!

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