Happy weekend, dear friends! Let's spend some time together and discuss an interesting question.
Our topic this week is hardly original. But it is hot, perhaps in more ways than one. I've seen this issue covered on several blogs recently with widely varying conclusions. Let's see what we think...
Is spanking inherently sexual for you?
So there you have it - short, sweet, and complicated.
To add your voice to our conversation, just post your thoughts in the form of a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance, I will post an edited summary of the proceedings.
31 comments :
Absolutely, positively, and always. We USE spanking in different ways in our relationship, for fun, stress relief, punishment, but underneath the sexual aspect of spanking is always there.
I have to say yes. Spanking is a huge sexual turn-on and spice in my submissive life! In general I do crave structure and to have a strong man in my life, but the spanking is an extra bonus which brings me much satisfaction and happiness :)
Have a great weekend,
kitten
Yes. It always has been, is now, and I trust always will be a sexual turn-on for me.
yes!
Short and sweet, but not complicated for me. Absolutely!
What they said. I can't imagine how it couldn't be.
Spankings exist in a purely fantasy relm for me (unless you include self spanking). It fits in with fantasies of submission to a caring yet dominate woman and includes sexual and sensual elements. The pain, both physical and mental (think scolding) blends with pleasure to highten the senses.
I would read sexual overtones into even a punishment spanking. Done in love, for my own good and given by the woman who loves me. How could it not be sexy to be corrected and cared for in such an intimate and physical way.
Yep, thinking about spankings, getting them and giving them is a HUGE turn-on. On the receiving side I can get quite worked up so to speak. On the giving side, it is more cerebral so during the giving of the spanking I don't have much time to get turned on, but before and after admiring my handiwork, the turn on is there. I think spankings can really add to the sexual experience, but if one party is not really into it, then it can spoil the moment...
That is my first post here...
Thanks
houston_switch
Absolutely, unquestionably, and without doubt -- whether I'm giving or receiving! What else could it possibly be? I just wrote a post about this topic last week
Absolutely sexual. Even if it's for punishment, there's a sexual aspect to it. The level of intimacy in the entire act is overtly sexual.
Regardless of what kind of spanking is given, (fun, role-play)it always ends with sex. We wouldn't have it any other way!
It's been a while since I've commented on anything here...but I can answer this one...definately for me, yes. Even in the few times I've been in a more...just spanking kind of relationship...I still felt very turned on, just not able or allowed to follow thru on those feelings.
Fantasizing about spanking is definitely a sexual experience but actual playing, for me, is not.
In past interactions, that have involved spanking and sex, I have to admit that the sex part was for the benefit of my partner of the time. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed the sex part but I enjoy getting the spanking part and it's associated high, far more and this was the main point of these interactions for me.
It has always confused me how the fantasizing about spanking is so sex related where as, in play, the actual spanking is the point of the exercise as far as I am concerned.
Prefectdt
Definitely! Even if it's not meant to, it still gives me butterflies from head to toe. I think, like everyone else basically said, it would be hard to have such an intimate, special moment with someone.. without it having a sexual undertone.
Yes, yesterday, today, tomorrow.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, because although I do not crave the pain, like many seem to, what I need, what I WANT, is to KNOW that my man conquers my strength of mind and body and spirit, and makes me one with him by exerting his control over me! I love to be answerable to him. I am a strong and bossy woman. I like to be in control. Yet the feminine side of me wants to be protected and cared for, have the burden of responsibility lifted from my shoulders. Spanking does this. I have the control taken from me; his strong, dominant, determination wins out and I melt with desire.... now, what was the question again? oh.... yes yes yes!!!!!
Hugs, xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It's been sexual for me since second grade even when I didn't know what sex was. I'm not into punishment and discipline, so there are no complicated feelings. As a spanker, I get aroused by the arousal of my partner. As a spankee, I can gets so aroused that climax occurs. Spanking is at te core of my sexuality, but when accompanied by sex during or aafterward, it's doubly satisfying.
Hi guys, … For us spanking is undoubtedly a major component of our sexual id … but it is more than that … we are not a D/d partnership in terms of a day-to-day Master and Submissive relationship (although I claim to be the Boss) and our plays are more often than not theatrical and spontaneously scripted … we can spank without having conventional sex, have conventional sex without spanking, or a combination of both … nonetheless there is no question that spanking, which includes, for us at least, conversation, humor and writing, is all inherently sexually motivated and erotically satisfying … Cheers, RH.
I can't think about spanking and not be sexually aroused. When I am spanked, I want to have some sexual contact after wards, but even if there were not sex, I would be more satisfied sexually than if I'd not been spanked at all. Also, I have a hard time having sex if there is no spanking, or spanking "talk". I am curious if I can experience the BIG O with a long drawn out spanking! I hear that it's possible. Yes, spanking, for me, is inherently sexual!
spanking has always been sexual foreplay for me. when i was younger i would wonder what a male's hands would feel like on me. not sex but spanking my bottom. then it would lead into sex. i've been able to cum from reading about spanking; watching various movies with spanking in them and of course from being spanked. spanking for me has always had sexual undertones. would not change it for the world.
I'm going to diverge from the majority here - I wouldn't call it inherently sexual for me. As I grew older, I learned that there could be a sexual element and embraced it. However, at my core, spanking is a comfort thing. I love it for its feeling of safety and attention. It brings me back to simpler, more carefree times after days of dealing adult situations. So, yes, spanking can definitely be sexual for me, and often is - but not inherently.
Brilliant topic, thanks Bonnie!
Hugs,
Maggie
For me, it is not inherently sexual; it is inherently erotic; by that I mean there was a fascination with spanking, way back before I had any clear idea about sex. One might well ask: is dancing inherently sexual? Dancing can lead to sex; but it can also be enjoyed simply for itself. Likewise: massage.
Absolutely yes, has always been, it's a real turn on for me.
Love.
Ronnie
xx
Unless on is not entirely truthful, I don't see how one would answer "No" to that question. Of course there could be the possibility that one is unaware about it. That being said.......yes.....for me it is even though sometimes it shouldn't be.
Yes, of course it is. Spanking is either sexual or punishment; the latter must be so punishing that the spankee never wants to offend again, so no thrills from that ! But on the numerous occasions when D makes me bare and bend my bottom, I am excited before even the first whack lands on it, and looking for ward to the 'afters', when he has raised it to a stinging throbbing heat. There does not have to be a reason; just his whim sometimes, perhaps a forfeit or bet in some game or some supposed misdeed. Nor does the sex have to be immediate; many times I have been spanked somewhere, where sex is not possible, and I return home, my bottom glowing beneath my skirt waiting for it's reward when we get there. Nowadays sex hardly ever occurs without a spanking first to get things going. S.
I have spanked many women and not had sex with them. Nor, have I had sex with all the women I enjoy dancing with. Let's not confuse the sensuous, and the erotic, with the sexual. They can all work together, like beef, potatoes, and carrots do. Having to eat corrots might be a punishment for some people, but I like 'em!
Like many previous posters, I have to say that spanking is prectically synomymous with my sexuality. It is the core of my sexual self.
I'm surprised that no one thus far has mentioned the difficulty inherent with this fact with partnerships. When I came out in college by giving a boyfriend a present of a thick leather belt and wordlessly baring my bottom and bending over his lap, I got my first adult spanking, but I did not magically convert him to the spanko I was. I've had a bubble-butt since puberty, and was used to attention from boys because of it, but I didn't want the big thing worshipped, I wanted it thrashed! That guy in college and several subsequent boyfriends didn't understand this. I felt that they indulged my little quirk, my idiosyncracy of wanting to be spanked. There was a fundamental disconnect. I'll never forget the first boyfriend I had who connected with me through a spanking-related personals ad. I was used to patty-cake sessions of spanks with guys who loved my ass and didn't want to see it bruised. By their standards I needed it HARD. On our first date, all signals were go; we were attracted to one another and had lots in common, especially the taste for spanking, so I asked him to spank my bare butt hard. His "hard" was ten times more than what I was used to.I remember that spanking hurting more than anything I've ever experienced before or since. But I loved every second of it!
I now only partner with men who are as deeply into spanking as I am, and that is to the marrow of the bone.
Jean Marie
YES!
Since we've put spanking on hold through my pregnancy, our sexual intimacy has lessened. I can't wait to return and I just know that it will begin again with a spanking!
I would have to say that it is not always sexual for me. At first when I ventured into this lifestyle I didnt even think of spanking as sexual at all ever. However now, naturally there are times that spanking has turned me on. But more so because like others have said from the intimacy it brings with the one that I love. But when I am at parties and things my mindset is different. It is not really sexual for me as it is more fun and playful. For times when we use spanking for discipline or for stress relief I really don't have sexual feelings from it at all. I think as I said earlier it all depends on my mindset at the time. Spanking very well can be sexual and it can also be non sexual for me.
It is decidedly always sexual for me. I remember be so fascinated by passages in books depicting spankings as young as four or five. I didn't know it then but spanking is now a central element to my sexuality. So yes, it is inherently sexual to me.
What Sunflower said. Spanking is definitely a key part of my sexuality. In fact, not having a regular sexual partner, I'm quite content with regular spankings from a close friend and don't especially crave sex. That could change, of course, but I doubt the spanking urge will ever go away.
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