Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for June 21

Our topic was three things about spanking or your spanking interest that you would want your partner to know. Here are your ideas.

Hermione:

1. Those special words and phrases are so important, and using them before and especially during a spanking makes the experience more exciting.


2. Spanking is a great stress reliever, mood alterer, and smile generator, and should be applied as often as needed.


3. Reading blogs together ensures that we are both on the same page, and provides a constant source of new and creative ideas.

Angie: I puzzled over this at first, because after all these years, I really think he knows everything about me concerning spanking.

But it's been a long time, too long, since I've been over a woman's lap. So, here is what I'd like her to know.

1. How I react to what you say, or do, or have me do, depends upon whether this is punishment. Because what is still fun or exciting for non-punishment play, can really get my attention when used for punishment. This can be corner time, pulling my panties down, treating me like a little girl, or making me do the walk of shame to bring back whatever you intend to spank me with.


2. While play is embarrassing, it’s embarrassing in a good way. An example is when you say things like “fat little fanny,” “plump little rump,” or “chubby cheeks,” etc. The same things, however, said when I'm being punished, will make me feel very young, and submissive, embarrassed and compliant.


3. I understand that you will correct me, as much as you think I have earned by my misbehavior. However, no matter how bad I was, after it’s done, I need to be comforted and for you to let me know I'm your good girl again. I don't expect sex. If you wish that, that is fine, but at least a hug, a cuddle and a kiss is needed, or I would be emotionally devastated, and wonder what I did wrong.

Anon #1: After reading the question, I feel very, very lucky. We only ventured past play spankings six months ago when I asked my wife to help me with weight loss. It worked so well that we now enjoy a complete DD lifestyle. I can not think of a single thing that I wished she knew about spanking or our interest in it that she doesn’t already know! I read here and many other blogs. She never does, yet she seems to know all of the tricks of the trade!

TTGU: I wish my husband cared that spanking me helped. Since he stopped he stays mad at me for a long time and ignores me. He thinks the silent treatment is better than spanking me because I started to bruise, but only after I started working two jobs and have a low iron high junk food diet. I feel unloved when he goes an entire day without talking or touching me.

He still spanks me during fun which is great. He is supposed to help me break a habit and ignoring me isn’t working, so hopefully he will catch on.

Anna: The three things I would hope for in a future partner would be:

1. He will understand when I need to be spanked without me having to ask for or suggest it.


2. He will understand it's about being emotionally invested in the relationship and not just about pain.


3. He will talk, talk, talk with me about it, even when I don't want to talk.

Prefectdt: Being my normal, annoying (bratty) self, I would like to split this into two lots of answers, for potential future partners.

To an experienced Top:

1. Spank me hard


2. Spank me often


3. Use your imagination, I love to try new scenes/toys/things.

To a less experienced Top:

1. This is not abuse, just because I want you to spank me


2. It doesn't always have to be about sex. If you want, it can be just spanking and nothing else


3. No matter how long you end up doing this thing that we do, there is always something new to learn. So stay open minded

Daisy: He knows me too well already. However, little reminders are always good...

1. It is not so much the spanking itself I enjoy as the feeling of being helpless and held to account for my actions


2. I like to be NOT in control, therefore ASKING for a spanking ruins the mood completely. So, instead of asking, I simply DO something worthy of being spanked. Being "let off" or warned will not result in improved behaviour, but worse, in order to prompt the spanking I need! And since you wish me to behave, acting on the first prompt from me will mean less irritation to you in the long run!


3. If I brat again soon after a spanking, it means you ended it too soon!

Penfold: For Bear, I think that there’s nothing so far that he doesn’t already know about me and our spankings, If there is, it’s because I’m unaware of it too and we haven’t realized it together. So, as issues or situations come up about our spankings, both DD and play, then we will learn together.

Jean Marie:

1. Spanking isn't a minor hobby or passing fancy for me. It's an integral part of who I am.


2. Playful spankings are THE BEST foreplay for me. Yes, licking me down there feels great, fingering is fun, but nine times out of ten, I prefer that you turn me over your knee to turn me on.


3. I need to be disciplined at times, and that entails hard punishment that may bruise or mark my bottom. It is well padded and already cracked back there. You can't do it too hard. I need it. I might whine about how I hate the hairbrush, but I really crave it at least once a week. I'll fuss that a caning is too severe, but unless you administer it as needed, I'll lose respect for you.

Meow: I'm totally with Daisy on this one:

1. The feeling of helplessness is very important!


2. YOU are in control, so let me feel it.


3. If at first you don't succeed, spank harder and longer.

Ronnie: Because we've been together for a lot of years, there’s really nothing that P doesn't know regarding spanking as it applies to me. He might not know everything about spanking per se, and neither do I, but hopefully there's room for both of us to be inspired and inventive to keep things lively.

One thing, I would like, and I don't think P knows how much, would be more punishment spankings. I've mentioned it a few times but always subtly because if I say it too starkly it would burst the bubble. When they do happen, which isn't often, they have to be natural to work for me.

Bonnie: This was a hard question for me too because Randy and I basically learned what we know together. Here are my thoughts:

1. There’s a time and place for the hard and fast “shock and awe” assault, but it isn’t at the beginning of a spanking. I think of a long spanking session like a marathon. If you wear me out at the beginning, I won’t have anything left for the last mile.


2. My body always responds to spankings with signals of sexual arousal. If you wish to interpret that as affirmation of your excellent technique, be my guest. But even a mediocre spanking turns me on. It’s just the way I’m wired.


3. I like it when you rub, swat, or squeeze my bottom the day after a hard spanking to gauge its residual sensitivity. It’s fun to be a little bit sore afterward and even more fun to be reminded of that fact.

Thank you to everyone who joined us for brunch this week! I hope you’ll stop again next time.